Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Karma Expediters, Inc.

Frustrated with the lack of alacrity from natural karma? We can help.
  (+5, -3)
(+5, -3)
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For a fee, we can manually enforce karmic backlash, when the universe isn't cooperating with your retribution infliction needs.
globaltourniquet, May 19 2001

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       Baked. (well, I added a link and then changed my mind. If you want to find some people that claim to provide this service, it's not that hard)
Susen, May 19 2001

       well, you can try it....I can't say that I agree that they should "sell" the service to the general public and I can't recommend the results....but if you want to try, send me an e-mail and I'll send you the link. (I'm actually kind of curious if theirs works and by what methods they determine the justification....although I still find it a flagrant abuse of power if it does....)
Susen, May 20 2001

       PS: Karma, at least in the interpretations I've heard, is a form of fate which makes good stuff happen to people who do good things (pay raise, reincarnation into something closer to Nirvana, etc.), and conversely bad things happen to bad people.
The idea seems to be a service which would make bad things happen to those who do bad stuff, but would otherwise go unpunished. Baked, in the form of the mafia, gangsters, hit men, et al.
nick_n_uit, May 20 2001

       Mephista has spoken truly. UB has made a valid counterpoint, but in all I stick with my original senisibility. Ours is to let bygones be, and the universe is charged with the duty of retribution, whether it chooses to enforce it or not. It is a response to those who identify vigilanteism as karma. It is no such thing. Karma has best been described here by Peter. Karma says that the way to benefit in life is to be a benefit to life. It has nothing to do with paying folks back for their evil.
globaltourniquet, May 21 2001

       Not quite, waug. You are overestimating the amount of generations there have been since karma began. It doesn't amount to millions. Even if we go back to the stone age (let's say 50,000 years ago, which seems to be the end of Neanderthal and the thriving emergence of Cro-Magnon), the most lives a person could have lived is around 1,000. And inbetween who knows how many times they had the blessing of living as a cow? Even given about ten times that amount (going back 500,000 years), we don't approach the millions that would cause karmic wash-out. In a thousand bland lives, one Hitler life could be extremely karmically significant. And anyway, the action of Hitler himself was the culmination of some thousand lives of bad karma. It still works.
globaltourniquet, May 21 2001

       Interesting note about the future. Might be (ahem) "enlightening" to figure out just how long it will be before the Great Karmic Flatlining occurs. However, this doesn't respond the the statement that I made that karma is cumulative. You don't have a bad karma lifespan like you have bad hair days. Hitler was his evil self due to his prior many generations of bad karma lifespans. Now he's a newt somehwere in Oakland, CA. And as such almost irredeemable (he'll have to be a damn fine newt to become more than a badger in the life after this one, for instance). You get what I'm saying. It isn't like a random die roll or pick-a-number. It's all interconnected. Cause and effect. Anyway, as for the cow thing, how about a cow in India, then?
globaltourniquet, May 21 2001

       So basically, what you're saying is, that your name needs to be Mephista in order to do good by globaltourniquet and vice versa? Do Mutual Admiration Societies have a Karma Charter which includes but is not limited to Back-patting/scratching?
thumbwax, May 21 2001

       Something like that, yes. Which goes to show it isn't random. It's about the choices you make. I suppose there is the possibility of flatlining, but that's what the religion is about avoiding. You see, the goal is NOT to be reincarnated. If you are reincarnated, you have done something wrong. You are being given chance after chance after chance to reach Nirvana. If you have flatlined, it will be much harder for you to reach that state. But if you start trying now, you stand a better chance to than if you don't. Eventually. Right?   

       I am only espousing the belief system, thumbwax, and I am being rational. I'm not saying it's my belief partuicularly, but for you to reduce my contribution to the discussion as some sort of mutual admiration/support system thing is offensive and not very productive. I agree with whom I agree with. I don't know Mephista from Betty Boop, I imagine she's a kindhearted, intelligent, passionate, rational person, and those are good qualities, but I have no particular affinity for her that would render any contribution I have to the discussion irrational. Where did you get that idea from, if I may ask? If it's at all my fault from my wording, I sure apologize. As I recall, all I said was, that she spoke correctly.
globaltourniquet, May 21 2001

       Sounds very similar to when the Chatolic Church sold pass's to Heaven in the olden days of yore.
Tangora, Dec 19 2005

       Send me some more information so I can give you all my money and what you need to know to deal with my soon-to-be-ex.
ye_river_xiv, Jul 09 2007


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