Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Thunk.

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KiloVolt Toilet

For men with awful aim
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From the basement of a low-budget mad scientist (such as myself), the KiloVolt Toilet, at first glance, appears to be a standard toilet with a Van de Graaff generator duct taped to the top of it. A sign that reads, "Remove rubber shoes before use" hangs on the door.

Before the toilet lies a metal platform - a weighing scale, perhaps, decorated with gratuitous wires and crocodile clips. Our protagonist gingerly steps onto the podium, and the machine springs to life. Relays click, old fashioned diode valves light up and the belt drive whirs and crackles as it gets up to speed. The man's hair stands on end.

Commence pissing.

The charged urine flow repels itself and blasts apart into a fine mist. The other electrode is within the bowl of the toilet, so the tiny droplets are sucked down towards it where they condense and dribble away.

No fuss, no mess.

Unless of course something goes wrong, such as a 100,000 volt arc forming along the urine stream and giving your gentleman's area a tingle.

mitxela, Aug 23 2009

Not dissimilar Electrospray_20urinal
[MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 23 2009]

...dissimilar... http://amultiverse....off-world-problems/
[normzone, Dec 24 2013]

[link]






       An outstanding idea but, sadly, prior art exists. So, marked- for-deletion redundant.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 23 2009
  

       Damn. I did search, but evidently not hard enough. This was about the tenth idea I've come up with this week, and finally thought I'd come up with something that hadn't been done already. :(
mitxela, Aug 23 2009
  

       If you could think of something involving custard....
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 23 2009
  

       .... you would probably get yourself arrested, never mind the potential (pun intended) for physiological damage.
8th of 7, Aug 23 2009
  

       ...and get a cat in there somehow...or better still a pussy...
DenholmRicshaw, Aug 23 2009
  

       And who would be crazy enough to risk using this? Lovely description but I'll have to fish-bone it.
PauloSargaco, Dec 02 2012
  

       Make the pussy part of the contraption and 8th would like it.
neelandan, Dec 23 2013
  
      
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