Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Kink-free Star Trek Remake

Plain Vanilla Sky-Fi
  [vote for,

An idea based on re-making the original Star Trek, but Kirk is never seen to get the girl, however weird or alien, at any point.

1) He may be watering the garden but his hose is always hidden by A) a pot-plant B)or a pianist being moved, or C) seems to flow freely and without obstruction or suggestive spurts.

Kirk is never heard to moan. 1) people may allude to what he said in the heat of the moment, in what seems to be a perfectly innocuous statement that may be identifiable as double entendre 2) they may pick at something they have stuck in their ear, but 3) he never gets to offer them hair gel directly.

This has two benefits. 1) The actor playing Kirk gets a lower salary as there's no penetrating character insights, thus saving money. 2) It'll cut out all those sappy 1970s boomp-boomp-boodoomp- boom music scores so we can get on with the story.

UnaBubba, May 21 2012

Closer... than you probably want to be. http://www.youtube....watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY
[UnaBubba, May 23 2012]


       I suspect the UK got a heavily censored version of Star Trek, judging by the content of this post?   

       Anyway, why isn't it called Planet Trek?   

       Not much point in landin' on a star. "Prepare an away team" <sounds of feet running away in order get the only nomex suit still in one piece..>
not_morrison_rm, May 21 2012

       I never saw much Star Trek as a kid. Then again, we didn't actually get TV until the late 1970s, when I was 11, about the time I went to boarding school, where TV was practically banned as we were to spend time playing sport or engaged in labouring tasks, "to improve the built environment of the school". (aka Slave Labour)
UnaBubba, May 21 2012

       You didn't miss much except Bagpuss. Now that was proper tv. Can't go wrong with a mouse organ...strange how that seems to morph into something out of Viz..
not_morrison_rm, May 21 2012

       //we didn't actually get TV until the late 1970s.....I went to boarding school.....Slave Labour//   

       [Ubie]'s whole psychic geweltschungsloss begins to make sense.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 21 2012


       Try behind the sofa.
pertinax, May 21 2012

       First officer James T Roland, reporting for duty.
Custardguts, May 21 2012

       I think you mean Gewalt forschung verlies, [Max]?   

       It's just at the bottom of the stairs. Light switch is on the right.
UnaBubba, May 22 2012

       <irrelavent annotation>Just wanted to share a lovely German word used by Angela Merkel recently to describe the Euro-zone: "Schicksalsgemeinschaft", meaning a 'community of fate'.</ia>
hippo, May 22 2012


       I think it's idiomatic, so it actually comes out as "sticks and stones (from "sal" ->rock salt) in my mineshaft"..
not_morrison_rm, May 23 2012

       Kinky star trek I would bun...
Voice, May 23 2012

       The Kirk and Spock Nine Inch Nails "Closer" parody video is excellent <link>
UnaBubba, May 23 2012


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