Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Kintsugi-Do

send and return Kintsugi service
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Kintsugi is a Japanese term that refers to the repairing of broken items of pottery using gold or silver infused lacquer to reconnect the pieces and restore the object to a fully functioning form. This is part of the Japanese philosophy Wabi-sabi of embracing and valuing imperfection.

At its highest level of skill, Kintsugi objects become highly valued to an even greater degree than in their pre-broken state.

KIntsugi-Do offers everyone the opportunity to reconfigure a treasured ceramic item into that of a Kintsugi object, thereby increasing its value and uniqueness.
Here's how it works:
The customer begins the process by making a request to Kintsugi-Do. In return, a padded box is sent to ensure the ceramic object can be sent in perfect condition. On being received, a special memorably elaborate scenario is constructed that results in the object being broken into pieces. This is filmed in high resolution so that a slow-mo video can be produced.

The resulting fragments are all collected, then meticulously glued back together using gold lacquer by highly skilled craft workers.

On completion, the object is returned to the owner. With it comes a certificate of authenticity, plus a copy of the video of the destructive event that enabled the even greater act of restorative Kintsugi to take place.

[note] KIntsugi-Do will also be launching Ikeasugi-Do that offers the service of cheap items of Ikea furniture having bits broken off, then being repaired using traditional Miyadaiku expert carpentry techniques.

xenzag, May 13 2021

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       If you supply two, similar, ceramic objects, can you get them Yobitsugi'ed instead?
hippo, May 13 2021
  

       That costs more, but of course is totally possible.
xenzag, May 13 2021
  

       //a special memorably elaborate scenario is constructed that results in the object being broken into pieces//   

       Somewhere beyond the veil, our Borg friend is hopping up and down with his hand in the air, full of ideas about how this might be done.
pertinax, May 13 2021
  

       He would have been hired in an instant. I also have a separate complete idea for him, (not posted yet) that will only be fully understood by frequent visitors here.
xenzag, May 13 2021
  

       My father always ran the crockery-smashing stall at the school fete.
pocmloc, May 13 2021
  

       Was it actually the tea and coffee stall but he was a bit clumsy?
hippo, May 13 2021
  

       If you put it in a bag before launching it from the trebuchet, it would be much easier to find all the pieces afterwards. It could be aimed at a high wall, or maybe a cliff. The alternative plan, also improved by a bag, would involve the same iron mallets that he liked to use for those jewelled scuttling crabs.   

       On special occasions (talk-like-a-pirate day), a broadside of carronades could be used on items up to 8 inches across.
pertinax, May 13 2021
  

       //Was it actually the tea and coffee stall// No, it was a big floor to ceiling display of donated old plates, cups, bowls, etc. all carefully displayed, you paid 50p and got three cricket balls to throw.
pocmloc, May 14 2021
  

       Thinking about it though, a combined Crockery Smashing Stall and Tea & Coffee Stall would save space and also save on washing-up
hippo, May 14 2021
  

       Add on the Kintsugi-Do at the end and you have a production line!
pocmloc, May 14 2021
  

       I think this process could be easily automated. A camera could watch the smash, and then robot arms with little rubber suction noxxles could pick up the pieces and hold them in position while another robot arm extrudes the lacquer.
pocmloc, May 14 2021
  

       //Add on the Kintsugi-Do at the end and you have a production line!// - that's brilliant: so the cups and saucers used for the tea stall are smashed in the 'throw cricket balls to smash crockery' stall, then stuck together on the Kintsugi stall, after which they go back to be used again on the tea stall
hippo, May 14 2021
  

       Taste of tea and coffee gets worse and worse, subsequent smashes have pitiful distances but the gold or silvery spiderwork is of unparalleled beauty.
wjt, May 15 2021
  

       In the "recursive" version as per [hippo], the smashing needs to be into only a few pieces. Then, for each kintsugi, a different colour is used (can you tint silver?); as the repairs are probably stronger than the existing porcelain, so the next round of smashes will be other places on the piece.
neutrinos_shadow, May 16 2021
  
      
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