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Last Night a DJ Saved my Life

Life saving evening wear.
  [vote for,

[names changed to protect the innocent]

Hon and Jazel were enjoying a splendid night out at the Master Baker's Ball.

Whilst in the throes of socialising, Hon suddenly felt a sharp, dagger-like pain in his chest. It ripped at his heart - Hon, from his previous career as a cardiac specialist, recognised the signs of a cardiac infarction. "Shite arse, a heart attack" yellopped Jazel!

But Hon was calm. Strangely calm. (not dead mind you, that'd be a rubbish story)

Hon was wearing a special tuxedo - a new defilbrillating dinner jacket, a heart- shaking suit to kick start his organ. The in-sleeve heart monitor picked up the irregularities in his blood pumper, diagnosed cardiac arrest and the in-lapel heart voltage source kicked into action.

"Stand clear", sounded the in-collar loudspeaker warning system.

... and with a enormous shock from the in-tail battery source, Hon's heart was back in order, in time for canapes and speeches.

jonthegeologist, Feb 26 2004

LifeCor LifeVest http://www.lifecor.com/
Pretty much baked: wearable defibrillartor [Acme, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       there is an effort in the States to put defibrilators in every restaurant, and other public places, I believe -- can't find a link right away...
theircompetitor, Feb 26 2004


       //a ... shaking suit to kick start his organ.//
After dinner bedroom utility as well!

Letsbuildafort, Feb 26 2004

       A DJ... Howard Stern?
RayfordSteele, Feb 26 2004

       Can I have one for in the mornings?
Detly, Feb 26 2004

       (R S) maybe Howsur Sternum?   

       It makes sense that being aware of a potentially life-threatening health issue, one should be prepared 24/7. With asthma I keep inhalers and required treatment elements readily available, as diabetics would stay prepared. I'm wondering though about the requisite items built into a D J... is this choice with alternatives or options? I mean, is it available as say, for under shirts or in women's wardrobe items also? Like something you could affix to different or new items for daily wear.. Heck just the in-sleeve monitor would enable some people to engage in and enjoy life more.
no12pass, Feb 27 2004

       Could be hilarious to watch/seriously life threatening if it went off accidentally, depending on your disposition... atrial fibrillation, anyone?
saker, Feb 27 2004

       Listening to this anecdote, I can't get the lyrics for Elton John's "Someone Saved My life Tonight" out of my ear, and wonder if there isn't more than a passing similarity to Hon and Jazel in the story telling. Ah, butterflies.
jurist, Feb 27 2004

       Also available: the optional Heimlich maneuver accessory.
bristolz, Feb 27 2004

       That would be disasterous if it went wrong, [bris].   

       Don't know if I'd like to have a DJ with the weight of all the batteries that are required.
PeterSilly, Feb 27 2004

       If you're wearing it in a restaurant you could probably have a mains version which plugs into the socket nearest your table. You'd just need to be slightly careful when going to the loo.
hazel, Feb 27 2004

       "Hon's having another heart attack! Someone get an extesion cord."
Worldgineer, Feb 27 2004

       Very 'Indeep'   

       Last night a D.J. saved my life   

       Last night a D.J. saved my life yeah   

       'cause I was sittin' there bored to death And in just one breath he said: You gotta get up   

       You gotta get off you gotta get down girl. You know you drive me crazy baby   

       You've got me turning to another man. Called you on the phone no one's home - And if it wasn't for the music I don't know what I do. Last night a D.J. saved my life   

       Last night a D.T. saved my life from a broken heart. Last night a D.J. saved my life
skinflaps, Feb 27 2004

       Start up the DJ, and all the lights dim everywhere else. Very romantic.   

       "Would sir like the optional MMR scanner attachment?"
PeterSilly, Feb 27 2004

       this is just a pun isn't it?
jonthegeologist, Feb 05 2006

       What if you spill something on it? And is Hon even a male name? Why do I ask stupid questions? Do you think my ass is getting bigger?   

       Be honest.
notmarkflynn, Feb 06 2006

       //this is just a pun isn't it?// It's a baked pun at that, I may have to complain to a moderator...
wagster, Feb 06 2006

       // What if you spill something on it? And is Hon even a male name? Why do I ask stupid questions? Do you think my ass is getting bigger? //   

       It gets wet. No it's not. I have no idea. Yep, without doubt.   

       [wagster] I'm writing a note to myself now to complain. This is an outrage.
jonthegeologist, Feb 06 2006

       [+] just for the name
shinobi, Feb 13 2006


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