Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Legalise Comedy Dueling

Settling disputes with nothing more than minor bumps, bruises and a couple of laughs.
  [vote for,

In Scotland, by law, dueling is still illegal (can you believe it?).

I propose a dueling system based on non-lethal, nowhere near harmful combat.

To solve a dispute a plaintiff may opt to challenge an 'accused' to a duel. The challenge must be made in writing, with the protagonists both consenting to a stringent physical examination, health insurance clauses and to abide by a Judge's (proper legal, important guy-type of judge) final decision. He may be assisted by a referee from a professional sport.

There shall be purpose built regional arenas, known as 'courts'. Inside the said courts there shall be a central stage, sunken into the floor in a pit-like manner with a ludicrously oversized, comfy double bed surrounded by padded walls. This is the battleground on which the dispute is to be settled (an acceptable alternative could be a kids inflatable bouncy castle).

Both parties shall have a choice of weapon made available to them. The weapons include, but are not limited to, incredibly soft gigantic cotton buds (US - cue tips?), super soft pillows and inflatable bananas. Such weapons will be hung around the court at the combatants approximate waist height. Custard may be invovled.

Combatants shall be armoured with gumshields, head protection (probably an old saucepan) and appropriately padded clothes.

Where a combatant is unable to take part due to genuine health reasons the judge may appoint legal representation. Such a representaion shall be refered to as a "Chivalrous champion of justice" or "Lawyer".

In the case where there are more than two combatants, they shall be entered into the court at the same time. This shall be known as the "Last Man Standing Battle Royale" procedure.

The time length of the proceedings, and any other rules are to be negotiated before 'trial' by the Judge, plaintiff and accused.

With exception of clause (i), all methods of scoring and decision making are to be hidden from the participants and are completely made up on a whim by the Judge.

I envisage something like the eponymous 'Thunderdome' of the 'Mad Max' film. Except without the 'Two men enter, One man leaves' mentality.

Gallery tickets available to public, for FREE!!! - with water/custard balloons made available for throwing.

clause (i): the Judge shall follow all possible course of action so that nobody is hurt.

Jinbish, Oct 16 2002

Trial by Game http://www.halfbake...a/Trial_20By_20Game
Slightly more sensible. [Jinbish, Oct 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Public Argument Resolution http://www.halfbake...gument_20Resolution
A bit nastier [Jinbish, Oct 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Legalized Dueling http://www.halfbake...Legalized_20Dueling
More harmful than comedy dueling. [Jinbish, Oct 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Bouncy Pillow Paint Fight http://www.halfbake...low_20Paint_20Fight
More organised...not to settle disputes [Jinbish, Oct 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Jinbish: you're an engineery type person, right?   

       An engineer with a mind like yours scares me.   

       Here, have a croissant....., sir.
salachair, Oct 16 2002

       Yes. This is the overhaul the adversarial legal system has been waiting for.   

       One possible addition: wigs must still be worn, over the saucepans.
calum, Oct 16 2002

       Legal wigs may only be worn by the properly, legally qualified people. Thats the Judge and the 'Chivalrous Champions of Justice'. For all other particpants, any wig may be worn. Comedy, curly, black scouser wigs shall be made available for free (and maybe shell suits too).
Jinbish, Oct 16 2002

       // An engineer with a mind like yours scares me //   

       Then contemplate with dread the time when we all finally get together, have a few drinks, and then some engineer says, "Hey guys, I wonder what would happen if we connected ......" and the next think you know, there's just a sort of asteroid-belt thingy where the third planet used to be .......
8th of 7, Oct 16 2002

       //For all other particpants, any wig may be worn. Comedy, curly, black scouser wigs shall be made available for free (and maybe shell suits too).//   

       So no change for the defend(ers/ants) then?
calum, Oct 16 2002

       [calum]: Calm down, calm down.   

       [Rods Tiger]: I take it that this is well trodden ground... more so than the the links I did find? I wrote this after reading the 'Legalized Dueling'... then found some similar ideas. If you can get three more H'bakers to tell me this is too unoriginal I shall take it back. Can't say fairer than that.
Jinbish, Oct 16 2002

       I like it a lot. I envisage spectators taking part a la ancient rome by giving a thumbs up or thumbs down to the victor (to determine whether the loser gets spanked with a large rubber chicken). You'd have to make the tickets cheaper though.
madradish, Oct 16 2002

       [madradish]: You are right, it's too steep. Prices changed - 'The people have a right to know' (and see and heckle and be judgemental).
Jinbish, Oct 16 2002

       Reminiscent of the duel in "Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines".
"Choose your veapon!"
"I choose balloons and blunderbusses!"
DrBob, Oct 16 2002

       ...also the Goons.   

       "Choose your weapon".
"One pair of clean underpants. I challenge you to an underpant wearing competition. We stand back to back and the first one who's underpants wear through dies ... of exposure."
PeterSilly, Oct 16 2002

       Heeheeheeheehee! Excellent! I would so love to see the heads of Enron taking on whoever was suing them.
Mighty piffle, Dec 26 2003

       I think we should be able to gamble duel, like duel of some challenge where by the winner is entitled to an area of land, etc. or the other mans wife. This might not fly in western countries, the wife bit that is.
wuhisn, May 07 2008

       I want to see a picture of your wife first before we go any further.
normzone, May 07 2008


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