Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Alas, poor spelling!

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Linear Tracking Mithril Credenza

A Victor Credenza (victrola) that plays up to an hour per record in stereo.
  [vote for,

A tempered polished 440 J2 stainless steel record with a groove on it recorded from 400 apparent grooves per inch to 720 apparent grooves per inch at 78 RPM. The Westrex reproducer is guided by a braked feedscrew which unbrakes when the needle moves toward the center. There is a dual Orthophonic Folded Horn giving good bass response. The needles are special non-tempered steel needles with a large shank like normal needles and a fine sharp tip. The Mithril Credenza can play all your old 78s too with the flip of the Sound Box compliance lever. The Sound Box compliance lever increases the compliance of the needle at the expense of volume for older 78s which are recorded from 70-150 apparent grooves per inch.
Amishman35, Dec 01 2003


       It could work, but isn't it missing the middle meningeal troposcantic methybutylizer? Without that, the trebulating ontoloscope won't gibe or jabber in the wabe. That is, unless you've already accounted for such mesenteropathic disturbances with a scatterological Klowdstein thermometer. But you didn't mention anything about that.
Overpanic, Dec 01 2003

       [Overpanic] - you're forgetting that the harmonic space-time distortions created by running tone arm with sharp-tipped needle *and* compliance lever over a 400+ gpi steel surface would in fact generate all manner of scatterological Klowdstein devices.   

       After all, 4/4 timing's enough to suck the power out of anything.
benjamin, Dec 01 2003

       [benjamin] Touché.
Overpanic, Dec 01 2003

       Also functional as a seismograph?
RayfordSteele, Dec 01 2003

       Is this text copied word-for-word from an advertisement in a recent edition of "Antique Sonographologist Monthly"? The extreme technical detail appears to have come at the expense of an answer to "why bother?".
dobtabulous, Dec 01 2003

       I bet you're swimming in hot chicks, aren't you?
Letsbuildafort, Dec 01 2003

       If it gives someone pleasure, that someone can now delete this idea.
Amishman35, Dec 02 2003

       At last! Something that can play all my old 78s!
ConsultingDetective, Feb 20 2004


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