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Lipless Sandwiches

A plastic lipstick shield.
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
  [vote for,

If you have ever noticed, whenever women eat sandwhiches with lipstick on, they leave a light layer of it on the sandwhich, when the first bite is taken.

I propose a plastic device--in the shape of a large set of lips with an oval hole cut from between the 'lips,' which fits over the biter's mouth allowing the teeth to close whilst holding the lips well clear of the sandwich.

No lip marks, regardless of the kind of bread. Also useful for keeping butter, jam, etc, off your lips.

Boomershine, Sep 27 2010

Red Reubins Red_20Reubins
Inspired by [blissmiss]. Alternative idea [Boomershine, Sep 27 2010]

Moustache guard http://www.theatlan...uard-edition/63484/
[pocmloc, Sep 28 2010]

History of lipstick http://clearlyexpla...shion/lipstick.html
See the notes on biology. [infidel, Sep 28 2010]

Lip Prosthetic http://www.inewidea...826.html#more-33826
Not quite what I had in mind, but close. Thanks, [doctorremulac3] [Boomershine, Sep 28 2010]


       1. wearing lipstick is gross. No exceptions.   

       2. eating sandwiches is common (well, picking the thing up and biting into it. It would be acceptable if a knife and fork were used.)
pocmloc, Sep 27 2010

       I'll have a wholegrain roll with chicken lips and cranberry sauce, please.
infidel, Sep 27 2010

       //1. wearing lipstick is gross. No exceptions.//   

       Really? What if the lipstick were *jam*? Ok, then you could eat the stuff, I know.   

       (*No* exceptions? Shirley all women can't believe it's gross? Why do we see so much of it then?)
Boomershine, Sep 27 2010

       Because it's worn to mimic the colour of swollen, red vulva, in order to make the wearer more desirable.
infidel, Sep 27 2010

       I, for one, have never thought of vulva when looking at lips.
Voice, Sep 27 2010

       Not even when there's a moustache?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 27 2010

       {Voice], try coming back tomorrow and honestly saying the same thing.   

       [Bs], are you suggesting that smearing jam round your face for a game during dinner time is anything other than gross?
pocmloc, Sep 27 2010

       Could also be used to keep coffee cups, wine glasses clean and to make discarded cigarette butts less attributable. Sounds like a must-have fashion accessory!
linkwize, Sep 28 2010

       [pocmloc] Well, I don't think so. I actually thought I read in the annos of another idea that you and your sister used to do this very thing. No?   

       Even little girls use lipstick. I'm just trying to proffer an idea here. If wearing lipstick is gross, always and forever, well, then it is.   

       But, lots of women wear the stuff--for reasons I won't even try to guess. If it's gross, it must be even more gross on a sandwich...
Boomershine, Sep 28 2010

       I have to admit, [Boomer], I have a lipstick aversion myself; I'm perfectly happy if my bride chooses not to wear it. (Those occasions are few and far between... It is a girl thing.) Needless to say I think your invention is a half-baked marvel for quasi-neurotic sociopaths such as myself. Bun! Does it come in a gift box? [+]
Grogster, Sep 28 2010

       Thank you, [Grog]. Gift box? Why, of course, help yourself.   

       I am neither advocating nor condemning the use of lipstick by anyone, for any purpose. This device simply keeps it off one's sandwich.   

       Now that I think about it, it would also keep one's moustache off someone else's...um, red swollen lips. [Voice] Think: Vulva. [Everyone Else] Just think.
Boomershine, Sep 28 2010

       [linkwize] This is well and truly baked for beverages etc, it is usuallyt called a moustache guard and there were a plethora of patents for it around 100 years ago, and some I think were even put into production.   

       Thanks [Bs] for your glowing opinion of my character but in actual fact not everything that I have ever done is flawless and beautiful.
pocmloc, Sep 28 2010

       I thought moustache guards were to keep liquids off one's moustache, not lipstick off sandwiches. I've seen moustache cups which do this.   

       My idea keeps both lips off the sandwich. It is not well-suited to drinking.
Boomershine, Sep 28 2010

       //Not even when there's a moustache?//   

       I almost fell out of my chair laughing.   

MikeD, Sep 28 2010

       Wasn't this done in one of the Batman movies? (It was in the one with the homoerotic undertones.) Poison Ivy kisses Robin, and instead of succumbing to her poison lipstick, he turns out to have been wearing plastic lips.   

       (I want a sandwich guard that forces a five-year-old to take a bite from the corner of the sandwich instead of eating his way in from the widest side and getting peanut butter in his ears.)
baconbrain, Sep 29 2010

       [link] (not related to your anno, [BB])
Boomershine, Sep 29 2010

       //(I want a sandwich guard that forces a five-year-old to take a bite from the corner of the sandwich instead of eating his way in from the widest side and getting peanut butter in his ears.)//   

       Quite simple, [BB]. Make my lip(stick) shield more funnel shaped; i.e., wider towards the front, opening away from the mouth. A sandwich will only fit in one pointy part at a time.
Boomershine, Sep 29 2010

       And then what when you have nibbled off all the points? Eh?
pocmloc, Sep 29 2010

       Well, you cram the rest in your mouth. Still no peanut butter in the ears.
Boomershine, Sep 29 2010

       // peanut butter in the ears //   

       But that's a big part of the fun ... allegedly.
8th of 7, Sep 29 2010

       [BB]//But that's a big part of the fun.//   

       There you go, [BB].
Boomershine, Sep 29 2010


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