Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Crust or bust.

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Lipstick with retractable foreskin

  [vote for,

No more twisting or lost caps.
tatterdemalion, Dec 17 2019

Austin Powers Montage https://www.youtube...watch?v=QQK5xJal68c
[Voice, Dec 19 2019]


       Is there an application head underneath? You might be sucking off more than you can lick with this one.
wjt, Dec 17 2019

       The Intercalary has a wallet made out a piece of whale's foreskin. If you rub it, it turns into a suitcase.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 17 2019

       I suppose it did have be done sometime...( turns painting of the Queen to the wall, just in case).. .
not_morrison_rm, Dec 17 2019

       Oh my...have we sunk this low, really...??? Goody, goody gumdrops. Hahahahaha
blissmiss, Dec 18 2019

       See, this proves that rumors about our movements being stiffly monitored and circumscribed are a complete fallacy, but maybe it's best we keep things under wraps.   

       Those who are circumscribed have less feeling, and therefore, if monitored, will be less stiff. I, for one, stand firmly against circumscription. It should prick the conscience of anyone who has heard a baby crying. Willy not feel extreme pain?
Voice, Dec 18 2019

       Well, England's Johnson has stood up to be counted.   

       Actually, this idea could work. You'd want a silicone rubber bladder in the base of the lipstick, filled with a liquid with a boiling point of say 25-30°C. When you grasp the base of the lipstick firmly, body heat would cause the bladder to expand, raising the, ah, shaft of the lipstick and causing it to protrude.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 18 2019

       Stop this insanity, you dicks. ("Willy not", good one, [Voice].)
blissmiss, Dec 19 2019

       // You'd want a silicone rubber bladder in the base of the lipstick   

       Optimal material for this purpose, I agree, but also for the prepuce - you need something that will not easily transfer the lipstick color to the inner contact surface, else risk a nasty inflamed appearance which could be off-putting to some.   

       Expanding liquid has some concerns, though. 25-30°C may be too low for some warmer locations, resulting in unwanted lipstick exposure. Perhaps just an air filled bladder (or two) at the base, that works with a good squeeze. This would also help prevent it from rolling off your desk.
tatterdemalion, Dec 19 2019

       Two air-filled bladders would make it hard to hold. Make them a bit wrinkly for easy gripping.
Voice, Dec 19 2019

       One could go further with this idea and make the lipstick hollow in the center, thus providing a passage for a second tube which dispenses skin moisturizer. Just pump the case up and down quickly to dispense.
Size_Mick, Dec 20 2019

       It would be hard to find a moisturizer that's compatible with lipstick.
Voice, Dec 20 2019

       Crushes will defintely dampen desire of need.
wjt, Dec 21 2019


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