Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.




If you don't notice the hyphen, well...
  [vote for,

This is a little like my "gainy image compression"

MP3 files compress audio with some loss of quality. MP-3 files, on the other hand, expand audio, resulting in a bigger file with extra audio features. Waveforms are interpolated, sometimes fractal, to increase the sampling rate, individual instruments are mapped on to a virtual orchestra layout in surround sound if the file is merely stereo, rustling of pamphlets, coughs and muttered and whispered conversations are added almost imperceptibly, the acoustic properties of different venues are modelled, rock concerts have whistles and people singing along added plus the striking of lighters and almost silently burning flames, people get up and go to the loo. Weather conditions are taken into consideration and wind and rain sounds added. Accidental slides along guitar strings augment notes and the sound of musicians breathing added to non-wind instruments.

The whole format is proprietary and includes a fee paid per file, and per play, having set up a direct debit, of the file, which is ten times larger than the uncompressed version. The hyphen or minus is only noticed by those in the know leaving others to wonder why the file is so big and won't pay. Or maybe they just won't notice and they'll only be left wondering why their device only holds a hundredth of the tracks it used to, all unplayable.

I miss the "evil" category.

nineteenthly, Dec 15 2016

Frustrated with trying to get your mp-3 files playing? Go and see some live music instead! - Go and see a proper musical! CAT5_3a_20The_20Musical!
There should be an "Intentional typographic obfuscation" category [hippo, Dec 15 2016]


       Sorry, accidentally hit submit too early.
nineteenthly, Dec 15 2016

       As a conscientious objector to copyright law I will just keep downloading mp3s from youtube
beanangel, Dec 15 2016

       "a conscientious objector to copyright law" - what kind of nonsense is this?
hippo, Dec 16 2016

       It's the kind of nonsense espoused, presumably, by someone who has never produced anything that anyone would want to steal.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2016

       blah blah Quakers blah blah notion of the commons blah blah nonroman systems blah blah plato n aristotle blah blah
beanangel, Dec 16 2016

       Well put, [beany]. Your arguments are sound and well-considered, as befits a man of your abilities. The fact that your conscientous objection saves you a few bucks is, of course, purely fortuitous. Jerk.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2016

       Actually, on second thoughts, I think "twat" rather than "jerk".
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2016

       //"a conscientious objector to copyright law"//   

       True enough, in the far far future, copyrights and patents should have no value. Trouble is we live in crappy times where small or large groups of people disagree with other small or large groups of people and a 'commons' does not exist. Sheesh, for the most part people are just power hungry greedy bastards.   

       [beany] rather than pay taxes, for software, for music and other things people do that you don't, why don't you start a Kickstarter project to buy a small country to try out a utopian vision. I'm guessing with the modern climate, a defence programme should be the first order of the day, either that or claim neutrality and only implement BeanNet based on expired patents.   

       I'm not saying utopian visions are a bad thing, but I'm afraid you were probably born a few centuries too early for anything like that to be realised in your lifetime. When you realise that, its like you become a politician, never trying too much, just nudging things in the right direction. But ok, you can skip ahead of the weird guy in the queue with orange hair and tiny hands.
bigsleep, Dec 17 2016


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle