Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Trying to contain nuts.

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If you don't notice the hyphen, well...
  [vote for,

This is a little like my "gainy image compression"

MP3 files compress audio with some loss of quality. MP-3 files, on the other hand, expand audio, resulting in a bigger file with extra audio features. Waveforms are interpolated, sometimes fractal, to increase the sampling rate, individual instruments are mapped on to a virtual orchestra layout in surround sound if the file is merely stereo, rustling of pamphlets, coughs and muttered and whispered conversations are added almost imperceptibly, the acoustic properties of different venues are modelled, rock concerts have whistles and people singing along added plus the striking of lighters and almost silently burning flames, people get up and go to the loo. Weather conditions are taken into consideration and wind and rain sounds added. Accidental slides along guitar strings augment notes and the sound of musicians breathing added to non-wind instruments.

The whole format is proprietary and includes a fee paid per file, and per play, having set up a direct debit, of the file, which is ten times larger than the uncompressed version. The hyphen or minus is only noticed by those in the know leaving others to wonder why the file is so big and won't pay. Or maybe they just won't notice and they'll only be left wondering why their device only holds a hundredth of the tracks it used to, all unplayable.

I miss the "evil" category.

nineteenthly, Dec 15 2016

Frustrated with trying to get your mp-3 files playing? Go and see some live music instead! - Go and see a proper musical! CAT5_3a_20The_20Musical!
There should be an "Intentional typographic obfuscation" category [hippo, Dec 15 2016]

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       Sorry, accidentally hit submit too early.
nineteenthly, Dec 15 2016

       As a conscientious objector to copyright law I will just keep downloading mp3s from youtube
beanangel, Dec 15 2016

       "a conscientious objector to copyright law" - what kind of nonsense is this?
hippo, Dec 16 2016

       It's the kind of nonsense espoused, presumably, by someone who has never produced anything that anyone would want to steal.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2016

       blah blah Quakers blah blah notion of the commons blah blah nonroman systems blah blah plato n aristotle blah blah
beanangel, Dec 16 2016

       Well put, [beany]. Your arguments are sound and well-considered, as befits a man of your abilities. The fact that your conscientous objection saves you a few bucks is, of course, purely fortuitous. Jerk.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2016

       Actually, on second thoughts, I think "twat" rather than "jerk".
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2016


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