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Marsupial Babysitter

Specially bred kangaroos care for your child!
  (+5, -4)
(+5, -4)
  [vote for,

Why limit selective breeding and domestication to such a narrow range of species? There is a farm down the road from my house, the owners of which have some eclectic tastes in pets. These include; 1 Alpaca, 1 giraffe, and 2 wallabies. I have seen the lady sitting on the front porch with a wallaby in her lap. Obviously they can be tamed and trained.
Now all I need to do is get a farm with 20-foot high fences and a wide selection of kangaroos, and begin breeding selectively for tractability, passive nature, friendliness, loyalty, calm temperment and nurturing, motherly tendencies. (I know these traits can be selected for and can breed true - Example: I had a bunch of pet domesticated rats, some of which got loose and began breeding in my tool shed. Every now and again I see one of their young ones go scuttling past. Several times when I have reacted fast enough, I have reached out and grabbed one as it went by. They'll give me a nip sometimes, and then go all passive. Try that with a wild rat! You'll be able to see through your fingers!)

Envision walking down the street, your kanga-nanny bounding behind you, your one-year old giggling and gurgling from within Kanga's pouch. Surely the "hopper" would soon replace the "stroller" as the accepted form of baby-transport. Plus, your child would have developed immunity to motion sickness and have no fear of falling.
What happens when baby outgrows kanga-mom's pouch? No problem - you still need a diaper bag. After little Timmy outgrows diapers, Kanga can carry your purse. Also, having seen male kangaroos 'box", I believe the kanga-guard breed of loyal guard-roos would be a boon to all those who want protection for their child or for themselves.

Buy yours today and get a 10% discount on 15-foot tall chain link fence for your kanga's run. We are not responsible for holes in your ceiling! We do not reccomend the "seeing-eye kanga", as we are having problems in the training program. We intend to solve these by the development of the autopilot pogo stick so that the visually impaired can keep up with their 'roo.
submitinkmonkey, Mar 31 2005


       I don't get it. Why does everyone keep calling my kid Joey? If I wanted him to be Joey, that's what I would have named him.   

       Kangaroo pouches are usually full of shit, sticky urine, rotten kangaroo milk, and parasites.... Perfect!
ConsulFlaminicus, Apr 01 2005

       The best way to bring up a baby in Australia, is to stick your fingers down a dingo's throat.
benfrost, Apr 02 2005

       Use big reds and mum can saddle up on the back.
wagster, Apr 02 2005

       I was going to bun this idea, but [ConsulFlaminicus]' anno turned my vote [-]
PauloSargaco, Jul 25 2005

       [benfrost] - I really must object in the strongest terms.

<pedant>What's with the comma?</pedant>
neilp, Jul 25 2005


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