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Mechanical arms for dolphins

  [vote for,

It seems a shame that dolphins that they don’t have arms, so drawing on the resources of NMRM corp, they will get some.

The arms go over a harness on the dolphin, and are guided by some reader-ier thing that takes brain activity and moves the arms accordingly.

The arms have hands and fingers for fine work, like knitting intricate mating displays out of kelp.

This level of dexterity would mean that they could, with a bathtub, to take part in poker games in Las Vegas. Their facial features are hard to interpret, and some way to stop the dolphins using sonar pings to sneakily work out what cards you hold might be a good idea.

not_morrison_rm, Aug 03 2019

Dolphin Car
[xaviergisz, Aug 03 2019]

Preheated already - David Brin - "Startide Rising" 1983 https://twitter.com.../746484422040379393
[neutrinos_shadow], your memory is close but a little off ... [normzone, Aug 05 2019]

Mechanical arms for dolphins https://larryniven....om.com/wiki/Dolphin
...and Brin was pre-dated by Niven. [DrBob, Aug 05 2019]


       Hey, this is actually pretty interesting.   

       What happens if you put this on say, a dog with a simple mechanism of sensing the electrical impulses sent to the animal's legs but with additional abilities like grasping added.   

       If the dog gets these things as a puppy it might learn to use these new appendages. Before it walks, it might master grabbing things and bringing them to its mouth. Later it learns to walk, run etc.   

       This might provide valuable research into prosthetic limbs for humans.   

doctorremulac3, Aug 03 2019

       Oh, that kind of arms.
pocmloc, Aug 03 2019

       But why leave out the larger marine mammals like orcas and sperm whales? Just imagine what intelligent, voracious carnivores with opposable digits might accomplish.
Whistlebritches, Aug 03 2019

       Hey, I say screw the dolphins. Fifty million years ago, their ancestors basically decided to take time off from evolving and just piss about in the ocean. They couldn't be arsed to do anything with their arms, and instead decided it would be oh so clever to evolve them into flippers that can be used for, what, nothing at all.   

       Now we turn up, having grafted away on land facing lions and tigers and bears. As a result of our unceasing dexteral efforts, we've not only got opposable thumbs but mobile phones and screw-top bottles. And you're suggesting we just give the dolphins a helping hand so they can enjoy all the stuff we've invented?   

       They just make no effort. Think of all the attempts we've made to communicate with them - it's always us who have to make the first move, put on SCUBA gear, build special microphones and stuff. Their initiatives: zero. They barely even acknowledge our efforts.   

       Think about the problem of mercury in fish. Who's it a problem for? The dolphins. Who develops all the fancy test kits to monitor mercury in fish? We do, that's who. Dolphin contribution: zero.   

       Think of all the stuff we dump in the ocean - most of it has printing on it. If we'd found artefacts with alien writing on them, we'd have a billion-pound team of linguists on it. But the dolphins - nah, can't be arsed. Rather be eating fish and making fart sounds mate. I think if we ever do manage to communicate with dolphins, we'll wonder why we bothered.   

       So, frankly, fuck 'em.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 03 2019

       They'd probably say 'So long, and thanks for all the fish" in sign language.
RayfordSteele, Aug 04 2019

       //So, frankly, fuck 'em.//   

       Finally, somebody who shares my disgust for these foul, arrogant, lazy creatures.   

       And who came up with the term "dolphin safe tuna"? Why isn't tuna safe dolphin meat a thing?
doctorremulac3, Aug 04 2019

       I read a sci-fi novel that had this idea, but for cuttlefish (IIRC). The cuttlefish were put into spaceships and sent off to explore the solar system, with their interface-&-remote arms and so forth.
neutrinos_shadow, Aug 04 2019

       That would work very well, as being immersed in liquid they could experience massive accelerations (that would kill a human) without harm.   

       There's probably an easy Ph.D. for anyone prepared to stick a tank full of cephalopods in NASAs G-simulator for a couple of weeks, then write up the results ... plus a delicious calamari banquet at the end.
8th of 7, Aug 04 2019

       Thinking about it, they could learn how to play guitars, could be a winner.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 05 2019

       Yes and, you know what? They'd all be on acoustic guitars playing bloody folk music. Folk music is painful enough as it is - we don't need dolphins joining in.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 05 2019

       //What happens if you put this on say, a dog // Now, that's a more interesting possibility. However, I'm not convinced that all dogs would figure it out. Of our dogs, two (one extant, one not) decided that they had hands, and would use their front paws to hold things. The other one is clearly of the mindset "these are legs; they are for walking with; using them for anything else would be ridiculous".
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 05 2019

       I was thinking more mariachi music, as some could strum and others could use their blowholes to play the brass band stuff.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 05 2019

       God no, haven't we all suffered enough yet?
RayfordSteele, Aug 07 2019

       // I read a sci-fi novel that had this idea, but for cuttlefish (IIRC). The cuttlefish were put into spaceships and sent off to explore the solar system, with their interface-&-remote arms and so forth. //   

       That wouldn't be Accelerando, would it? There were some lobsters who were involved in the first successful mind-uploading experiment, and then merged their minds with some computer program (whose purpose I don't recall), and asked Manfred Macx to transmit them (as a radio signal) out of the Solar System so that they would be safe from the coming general AI revolution. Then some aliens took on the lobsters' bodies (in a simulation) to meet with humans. I don't remember the lobsters ever being given augmentations to their physical bodies. I think I do remember, though, that he sent them out physically in some form as well as as a radio signal.
notexactly, Aug 10 2019

       [notex], you should avoid eating so much cheese before sleeping.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 10 2019

       //mariachi music// Single oddest mariachi-related experience: eating tiramisu in a Swiss-themed restaurant in an American-style hotel in Malaysia, listening to live mariachi music. I shit you not.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 10 2019

       ^ Now THAT'S a multicultural experience!
neutrinos_shadow, Aug 11 2019

       // you should avoid eating so much cheese before sleeping //   

       You know, what I wrote actually does sound like an account of a dream.   

       On the other hand, I thought you were a dolphin, or at least were one in 2010. What turned you against your own kind?
notexactly, Aug 12 2019


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