Imagine that you're driving down a gently-rolling two-lane road, looking off to the side beyond the trees, the pastures, the gigantic bobbing bronze statues...
It seems you've happened across the Metal Memorial Garden...thirty-foot-tall memorials with heads gently banging back and forth, each
in the image of a Rock God now gone.
Constructed of bronze, each head would be installed on a hinged, spring-loaded post. The posts and hinges would allow for movement front-to-back only, as if the sculptures were banging their heads to an inaudible, yet still kick-ass, guitar solo.
Admission would be free, as long as you can name at least one member of the Garden.
Nikki Sixx, by the way, is currently ineligible, despite his two-minute period of non-life. Gotta be dead fo' sho', rocker.
(Rick James is included because of his diagnosis of heavy metal neck a few years before his death)
The Original Idea:
Funk lost a great* man today in trendsetter Rick James. Though cause of death is undetermined as I write this, it really oughtn't matter too much, as he was the Superfreak and the all-around idol for such greats as MC Hammer, Hammer, and MC Hammer again.
Mr. James was diagnosed just a few years ago with "heavy metal neck," a series of stress fractures in his cervical vertebrae caused by constantly whipping his head forward and backwards in a spastic manner. And this gives me the idea for his memorial....
I propose a giant hollow effigy of Mr. James's head on a cartoonishly small solid body, connected by a heavy-duty spring, with two tighter springs mounted on a post to prevent side-to-side motion; this would create a mostly front-to-back bobbling effect when the head moves, as a result of wind, or adoring fans constantly rubbing his prodigious sculpted chin fat.
Altered on 10/28/2004 to, IMO, improve the idea.