Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Minion Training School

Because underlings need training too.
  [vote for,

There is no way for a good evil mastermind to get anywhere in the world without a hefty supply of grunt-work. Who else can be summarily executed when not successfully performing their tasks or sent in their droves to fight off charismatic heroes.

However, while there are many job opportunities. There is a shortage of skilled workers. The MTS would be a place where an average person could be trained to become an evil minion in mere weeks. Minions would be taught valuable skills such as succesful grovelling, cat preening and extremely basic firearms training. On graduation you would also be presented with your standard uniform.

Advanced courses, for those wishing to travel up in the minion promotion ladder would include; not investigating things alone, actual target practice and monologue avoidance. This can help you rise up to the ranks of underling, henchman or even right-hand man. Just think, if your boss snuffs it, you could be the next leader.

hidden truths, Jul 06 2005

Another Evil Scheme accessory, no would-be despot should be without. Invisible_20Ink_20Level_20Indicator
[ato_de, Jul 06 2005]

A must in the menions and womenions rooms. evil_20laugh_20activated_20hand_20dryer
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 07 2005]

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord http://www.evilover...lists/overlord.html
My favourite is #22: No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. [Detly, Jul 07 2005]

"The Evil League of Evil" and "The Henchmen's Guild" http://en.wikipedia...e's_Sing-Along_Blog
[normzone, Jun 17 2009]

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       Hahaha. You got a [+] from me! After a long day at work I needed that laugh. Thx!
kuupuuluu, Jul 06 2005

normzone, Jul 06 2005

       Isn't this pretty much the whole of North Korea?
DrCurry, Jul 06 2005

       <Nigel Powers> Do you know how many anonymous henchmen I've killed? Look at you! You haven't even got a name badge. What chance do you think you've got! </NP>
DrBob, Jul 06 2005

       + Whaddaya mean, IF the boss snuffs it?
baconbrain, Jul 07 2005

       [+] hahaha i like
gorjabuble, Jul 07 2005

       Do they have a drivethrough?   

       Uh, yeah, I'll take 50 grunts, 20 underlings, 15 minions...and, uh, well I've got to take over Italy by tuesday, so better gimme a couple mad scientists too.
Aq_Bi, Jul 07 2005

       Fighting training includes the discipline to wait your turn, whilst watching fellow minions being dealt with, one by one.
//#100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access// He has obviously heard of the halfbakery.
Ling, Jul 07 2005

       This is the greatest idea since that idea that was thought of right before this one, and is greater, of which I can't seem to remember. [+]
thesmog, Jul 07 2005

       Right next to the Biker's Moll motorbike school and the At-First-Amusing- But-Later-Grittily-Life- Affirming-Mismatched- Partner Police Training College.
hippo, Jul 07 2005

       Don't forget the "Tart With A Heart Academy for Young Ladies of Negotiable Affection"
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 07 2005

       Credit where credit is due [baconbrain], the big bad guy is likely to end up 6 feet under but countless minions would have perished before this, so the odds of surviving to be his successor are not great.
I would love to see that street [hippo].
There are currently places on the human shield course available at a discount rate (no refunds).
hidden truths, Jul 09 2005

       "Not now Kato you fool!"   

       Hopefully they get monorail driving lessons too. I'm definetly having a monorail in my evil lair.
cdp181, Oct 10 2005

       What do you want to do tomorrow Brain?
Same thing we do every day Pinky. Try to take over the world!!!
cjacks, Oct 10 2005

       firearms training should include shooting a machine gun to always *just* miss hitting the hero in staccato fire....   

       great idea....love it
samosa_pirate, Feb 12 2007

       Has some one been playing Evil Genius?
emjay, Feb 13 2007

       //*just* miss hitting the hero??   

       And possibly grappling lessons - including the maneouvre where the hero's head is pressed into a fire/circular saw/over cliff edge, only for the minion to somehow end up being chop suey.
Jinbish, Feb 13 2007

       I was thinking along similar lines to this idea just the other day, watching Agent Cody Banks getting chased by a bunch of minions on ski-bikes.   

       Minion training would be so much better than secret agent training! You get to wear a tracksuit, you don't have to bother with all the book-larnin', and the range of vehicles you'd be required to drive would be impressive, to say the least. And it takes pretty good marksmanship to *never* hit the hero, not even by accident. and let's face it, the ability to fake one's own death is a skill that we could all find useful in our daily lives.
moomintroll, May 16 2007

       [emjay]: That is without a doubt one of my top 5 games ever.
Germanicus, May 16 2007


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