h a l f b a k e r yJust add oughta.
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Imagine the scene, you are an intrepid explorer travelling through a dense jungle. You are hacking away at the undergrowth, flailing around like a lunatic, all the while wasting your valuable energy. You should probably invest in a Motorised Machete. The handle of the machete is at 90 degrees to the
blade, and the blade is held into the handle by a bearing, which is connected to a motor. You press a button, and the blade starts whirring around in a circle in front of you, meaning all you have to do is hold it out in front of you and walk.
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You call that a knife? This is a knife! *Swish* |
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for some reason or another, I read this as Motorbike Machete. I'm slightly disappointed, but I don't know why. |
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Sounds like an excellent way to slice limbs and things off one's fellows - I'll take four for my next battle chariot. |
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Presumably this has a 'manual' mode for when the battery runs out... Hopefully it also has some sort of kill switch for when you drop it and desperately try to avoid the whirling, flashing blade...? |
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This is suspiciously reminiscent of the auto-truncheon thing the police had on The Simpsons. |
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//all the while wasting your valuable energy// - OK, here's the thing - a real machete is a fairly useful and if kept sharp, effective tool - in fact, it would be difficult to find a more fuel efficient device. Instead of making the odd chop here and there as and when required, you're now going to have to lug around great tanks of fuel to power the thing. Then, when you start to imagine burning some of that fuel to get the thing spinning before it actually chops anything, it soon becomes obvious that you've not spared any energy at all. |
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I propose you should hire some natives to carry your fuel around for you, and if that works out ok, why not get them to do the machete work for you as well? And while their at it, they might as well carry you about on a litter as well, fanning you from the jungle heat and serving the occasional G&T. |
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When I used my 'weed whacker' at the weekend I was continually showered with debris... but at least that was only garden debris.
I wouldn't be keen to stand near anyone using a motorised machete in the jungle. Too many stinging bugs and poisonous thorns coming at you high speed for my liking. I guess you'd need to add some sort of protective suit to the tanks of fuel you're already lugging into the jungle!
As an aside - you'd still need to carry your machete with you anyway, as it's pretty much the ultimate tool for survival (making shelter, making fire and cooking). |
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I was trying to find a link to one of those tractor-mounted brush-clearing whirling-blade thingies, but I couldn't find one. |
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I think this is more of a weapon for a futristic gladitator moving. Dun Dun Dun Dun Dudadada Dundadada... |
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"I think we should go that w...ArGH!!!!" |
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"I think we should go that wargh"? |
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Whats a wargh? Which direction is it in? |
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