Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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New, improved 'Mating Ritual'

Please don't ask me to dance
  [vote for,

OK, I think its time to admit that Mother Nature has got things badly wrong.

Men don't dance. Some can't, Some won't. Many of those that do, actually prefer the company of other men.

This presents a problem.

I suggest a that we standardise the human 'mating ritual', to a short sequence of intricate movements. This has already proved effective in other species, including song-birds, tropical fish and of course, the Praying Mantis ;-)

I propose two versions of the ritual. The abridged version, involving a bunch of flowers, a hired video and an inexpensive bottle of wine. The full version would need to be more subtle and elegant:

"...A spotlight follows me as I strut to the centre of dance floor, wearing a gilded jock strap and a bunch of peacock feathers clenched firmly between my buttocks..."

riposte, Jul 09 2003

We can dance if we want to http://www.80smusic.../menwithouthats.htm
we can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Alternatively http://www.yimpan.c.../index.asp?sid=4999
Join a successful rock group. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004]


       Fine! So long as I can only employ the first. Oh, and we can still spoon occasionally!
gnomethang, Jul 09 2003

       "Yes sir, I can boogie, but I need a certain song...   

       I can boogie, boogie woogie, all night long..."   

       I love to dance. My good lady loves to dance with me.
saker, Jul 09 2003

       Funny you should say that. Last night I resumed my dance hobby after a break of five years, albeit with a different style. There I was, stood hip to hip with this slim curvy young stranger. She was in front of me, positioned at 90° with her left hip against my right hip. My left hand was holding her right somewhere above and in front of our heads, my right arm around her waist with my hand on her right hip. Suddenly the dance teacher broke and went to explain something to one of the other couples, who were similarly but not quite identically posed. "By the way" I whispered into her ear, which was about three inches from my face. "My name's Ian"
"Johanna" she replied.
"Pleased to meet you"
"And you" she said, and paused. "It is kind of a bizarre situation, isn't it?"

       Dancing is by no means redundant as a means to meet new people. Having attended a championship dance with the same group last week, I can tell you there was a lot more than just flirting going on! None of the participants gave the appearance of preferring same sex relationships
egbert, Jul 09 2003

       I thought your name was egbert.
po, Jul 09 2003

I slept with you the other night
You didn't phone, you didn't write.
I think you did it out of spite...
DrBob, Jul 09 2003

I danced with you in the capital of France,
But I felt no romance, only an empty glance.
I thought you were in a hypnotic trance or, by chance,
Saw that I was a he, enhanced…
FarmerJohn, Jul 09 2003

       Come to New York, where the mating ritual involves standing round in bars drinking cocktails. Not cheap, but no peacock feathers required.
DrCurry, Jul 09 2003

       ..and in a dark brown voice she said Lola.   

       L-O-L-A, Lola   

       (or was that a background voice?)
oxen crossing, Jul 09 2003

Well I’m not the world’s most physical guy
But when she squeezed me tight
she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola
po, Jul 09 2003

       Says guy to girl...
"Ya dancin'?"
"Ya askin'?"

       "I'm askin' " <delivered with wry, sexy smile>
"I'm dancin' "... <delivered with similar innuendo>

       I refute the obsoletion of dance and therefore disagree with the idea.
Jinbish, Jul 09 2003

       //<echo>//>this is what I meant to say   

       couldn't remember   

       I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like
See-oh-el-aye co-la
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said
El-oh-el-aye Lo-la la-la-la-la Lo-la
oxen crossing, Jul 09 2003

       <echo> every man's fantasy?
po, Jul 09 2003

       jinbish: "obsoletion" ? That like "delescence" ?
DrCurry, Jul 10 2003

       [DrC]: I would try and take credit for a clever hybrid. But I'd never convince.. you got me.   

       (I used the word 'resignment' the other day - I dunno whether it is a sign of greater ingenuity with my use of language - or just terrible, terrible vocabulary. Probably the latter)
Jinbish, Jul 10 2003

       Wasn't this a Genesis song?
waugsqueke, Jul 10 2003


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