Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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News Tank

"Why are the pictures so crappy?"...
  [vote for,

...asked Mrs. P.
"Because they're using portable transmission equipment", said I.
Blank stare.
"They have to fit cameras, batteries and satellite dish - everything - in a backpack. They can't drive a news truck through the desert.", I clarified.
"Why don't they drive a news tank, then?" asked she.
Blank stare.
"Take off the gun and put on a big satellite dish. That's a pretty good HalfBaked idea, isn't it? You should post that." she insisted.
phoenix, Mar 21 2003

(?) smell the viola... http://www.gardengu...trations1/viola.jpg
pretty little flower related to heartsease I believe [po, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       Here - I'm going to squirt the bird with an image of an armored croissant. You may need to wait 4 seconds.
lurch, Mar 22 2003

       True, I suggested we have to stop watching war TV. But the truth is, we won't (although it would be ideal) and the US know this. Actually, I wouldn't doubt that one of the aims of thris war is to save CNN from Bankruptcy by making people addicted to 24 hour broadcasts of the latest "news" of the war.
Pericles, Mar 22 2003

       True, I suggested we have to stop watching war TV. But the truth is, we won't (although it would be ideal) and the US know this. Actually, I wouldn't doubt that one of the aims of thris war is to save CNN from Bankruptcy by making people addicted to 24 hour broadcasts of the latest "news" of the war.   

       I just posted an idea related to this.
Pericles, Mar 22 2003

       This is a pretty cool idea... at least then the reporters wouldn't have to be hanging off the edge of an APC while they report like the ones i've seen so far. it's very distracting! i actually was thinking they should just mount cameras and microphones on small, simple remote control rovers so they could be sent wherever need be without risking the reporters themselves. that wouldn't solve the "crappy picture" problem, though...
Electric Monk, Mar 22 2003

       viola is a flower, perhaps [phoenix] is referring to the fact that these nifty vehicles would need to indicate their neutrality by being covered in flowers, waving white flags and pumping out loud music.
po, Mar 22 2003

       Or maybe the media should all stay at home and use special effects to make up what the military tell them to. Oh, wait...
hippo, Mar 22 2003

       Hippo and RodS might have been on to something if this were "Sweeps Week" where all the US networks were in competition for ratings to attract advertising dolars and commitments for slots in the upcoming year's programming.. Unfortunately, Turkey withheld it's flyover permission for so long, and France turned out such an off-tasting roux, that the entire broadcasting schedule has been pushed off-track for the foreseeable several weeks. The current timing benefits no one except day-traders, as the Sweeps have elapsed.   

       Back to topic,[Phoenix], I think you should allow Mrs. P to write more of your ideas. She displays a pleasant practicality in her thought processes.   

       In fact, if I knew you better, I'd be tempted to compare her to "Trixie"(Joyce Randolph) from "The Honeymooners" versus your "Ralph Norton" (Art Carney).
jurist, Mar 22 2003

       plutonium - *viola!* is a running gag here in the 'bakery - it is said instead of *voila!*
thumbwax, Mar 22 2003

       And, nonetheless, violas are still (as po points out) very pretty pansy cultivars, entirely suitable for pasting to vehicles (even News Tanks!), much the way we do with other flowers for the Rose Parade. Let's not lose our sense of whimsy under fire, folks.
jurist, Mar 22 2003

       Sorry for the cliche. V/i/o/i/la expunged.
phoenix, Mar 23 2003

       But phoenix, now plutonium's annotations seem completely daft.

Oh, wait...

(don't flame me pluto, my evil twin made me say that.)
roby, Mar 23 2003

       I dunno about this. Seems the 'videophone' that CNN is using is being hampered by two things.
1) The person holding the camera doesn't seem to be able to hold the thing still or in focus. Personally I'd get better pictures strapping a minicam on to the head of a dog and have 'him' stick his head out the window.
2) The Hummer that is driving around the crew is obviously sent to 'easy' locations and tasks, minimizing the possibility of seeing war in all its reality.
Cedar Park, Mar 23 2003

       I think an entire news battalion would make more sense. Just give military vehicles and drivers to the entire press corps and then let them roam about as they will. The various vehicles could be emblazoned with the news corporations they represent. If one of the news outfits managed to conquer a base or city, they could fly their corporate logo.
bungston, Mar 23 2003

       Then two news organizations competing for a "scoop" may lead to a "hostile takeover" completely taking the home offices by surprise. I think this should be a separate idea 'cause I really want to see Peter Arnet holding Heraldo Rivera at microphone-point.
lurch, Mar 23 2003

       There's still a problem here. If you're a soldier and you see a tank, whattaya do? Wait for it to identify itself? Your superiors know where all *your* tanks are, and it ain't one of 'em!   

       Flowers, well, that helps....until the enemy starts putting flowers on *their* tanks. And besides, what self-respecting journalist rides in a flower-mobile?
galukalock, Mar 23 2003

       have a daff!
po, Mar 23 2003

       <accent region="Arab">Thanks, Infidel.</accent>
galukalock, Mar 23 2003

       This very idea was mentioned by Aaron Brown on CNN during Saturday's broadcast. (I don't mean that he referenced the halfbakery - I mean he suggested pretty much the same concept while watching live video of tanks moving on an enemy target.)
waugsqueke, Mar 23 2003

       Yes, we're getting closer to that point where CNN can deploy it's own troops, aren't we?   

       General Aaron Brown reporting...
beck, Dec 28 2006


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