To many people it's very important that certain things are
done a certain number of times. However, some people
believe that this certain number should be prime, whereas
others hold that the number should be highly composite.
This is probably more important to some people than the
Consequently I propose the Nineteen To The Dozen Party
System. There are still two wings to politics, but rather
than dividing them between Left and Right, we should take
the word "division" at face value and divide them into
divisible and indivisible, the Prime Party and the Composite
The Prime Party should of course be headed by the Prime
Minister when in power. There should be three Prime
Ministers, since one is not really a proper prime number. A
third of each individual's body should represent the Prime
Minister collectively, so that there is in fact only one actual
PM, for example the legs of one politician, the torso of
another and the head of a third.
When the Composite Party is in power, the country should
switch to being headed by a Composite Minister, consisting
of twenty-four individuals, of each of whom a twenty-
fourth of their body contributes to the Composite Minister.
Policies should be enacted thus:
Money: Currency should be ninety-seven smaller units to
the larger unit. This would be inherently unfair as it would
be impossible to divide such a currency equally. Taxation
should likewise be levied as a fifth, a seventh or whatever
of the value. In fact all expenditure and revenue should
consist of prime numbers of units of currency. The
Composite Party should use some kind of highly composite
number such as 144 in a similar way.
Administration: The Prime Party would divide the country
into nineteen first-tier local authorities, each of which
should be divided into seventeen smaller authorities. The
Composite Party would do the same with a highly
composite number of first and second-tier authorities.
Education: For the Prime Party, schooling should begin at
five and end at seventeen. The English three-year first
degree system would remain. For the Composites,
schooling would begin at six and run to eighteen, and a
degree would last six years, which is a perfect number of
years for it to run. All degrees would therefore be Masters
level or above, or in Medicine and Surgery.
Retirement: 60 for the Composite Party, 61 for the Prime
Weights and Measures: Duodecimal for the Composite
Party, units of eleven for the Prime Party.
Since there are two parties, the Prime Party would
promote the educational doctrine that two is a prime
number and the Composite Party that it isn't. I don't know
And so on.
In terms of left and right, both parties would be centrist
because it's not the socialist/liberal/laissez faire thing that
counts (note the word) so much as the number of things or
times that something is done.
Much more sensible.