Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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No More War

Countries go to war like a sport
  [vote for,

Each year two countries, picked by random selection of a group of people in various governments, go to war on a battlefield the size of a State such as Rhode Island. The armies would be evenly matched: same amount of men, ammo, weapons...

To make the war more to the liking of the public around the world (since this would be a thing of social control) helicopters, SAM's, and other devices would be used. Refs could moniter the action to make sure that there is no torture or anything else against war conduct.

The winner would get billions from the loser as well as some land and other things.

Dogcat, Mar 23 2008

Similar idea The_20Ending_20of_20War
[bungston, Mar 24 2008]


       [marked-for-account-deletion] please please please please
lurch, Mar 23 2008

       I want fish for dinner tonight. This is unusual, because I usually don't really like fish. But I had chicken last night and beef the night before. Before that it was a meatless spaghetti. So it seems like I should maintain the trend of something different. What do you guys think? I don't really like fish, but doesn't it seem like that's what I should have? I really hope to get some good input from all you great fellow half-bakers about this.   

       Did anyone watch last night's episode of "Don't Touch My Car"? I thought it was weak.   

       What else is happening?
globaltourniquet, Mar 24 2008

       Dogcat: read this. You have ideas. Some are real ideas. This Halfbakery here is a nice place to air your ideas. But if you do not filter out the pure crap, people will assume anything coming from you is pure crap. Then it will be frustrating when you have an idea which really is pretty good, but no-one takes it seriously or talks about it.
bungston, Mar 24 2008

       Yeah, really, [Dog scat]. You hold the record for most postings in a first week AND the worst fishbone ratio.   

       If you'd listen to what we are trying to tell you, you might make progress, learn something and be someone. As it is, we are just looking at your ideas and making fizzing noises. Nobody is taking you seriously. Few are even bothering to read your ideas. You've been filtered out by folks, even.   

       You may not realize it, but this is one of the more intellectual places on the 'net (not much of a claim, I know). We have standards, and we have rules.   

       Get a grip or give it up.
baconbrain, Mar 24 2008

       I pride myself on equal access - I don't delete annos, and I don't filter anybody. I'm about ready to change my ways.
normzone, Mar 24 2008

       I just looked at Dogcat's account... it's like the Sargasso sea has evaporated. Wasn't there a film called The Bone Collector? Message to Dogcat : Why are you here?
xenzag, Mar 24 2008

       I just wish [Treon] were here. I want to read something original and thought-provoking.
globaltourniquet, Mar 24 2008

       I think Dogcat is troll, personally.   

       Each newbie seem to be average: worse than the last one, better than the next.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 24 2008

       gt, I think you should avoid both the fish and meat options and do yourself a nice nut cutlet with mashed potato and onion gravy (vegetarian of course). Apple crumble and custard for afters. Mmmmm! Nobody could ever think about fighting with a stomach full of stodge like that.
DrBob, Mar 24 2008

       What's all the hub about anyways? Just ask Wuthers what's on the menu tonight. I'm far too busy in the billiard room to be fussing about, worrying over what's for supper. That's his job.   

       Now, in other news, where on earth are we going to fit the new Bentley? The Astons and the Jag's are just taking up too much room.
Custardguts, Mar 24 2008

       Yes, Bacon Brain, because no one can really be someone unless the HB denizans like him...
Voice, Mar 24 2008

       Good point. I was thinking only in HB terms.
baconbrain, Mar 25 2008

       Of course, [Custard], but what's wrong with the North garage? Did the twins buy another llama on e-bay?
globaltourniquet, Mar 25 2008

       The little blighters seem to be getting ready to fill another ark. Exotic animals running about everywhere, poor old Geeves's back is about ready to give in from all the shovelling. It's all so agricultural.   

       The way old mummy's getting, I think we might have some space opening up in the wine cellar. Might hide one of the Jag's down there.   

       Poor dear, but she loves a drop. Pity about the language, but - I think she's been spoiling the twins with some ribald conversation. Old mumsy can swear like a tropper when she's tying one on.
Custardguts, Mar 25 2008

       Half Bakery? Thank God. I thought, for a moment, I had inadvertantly stumbled onto the set of another Monty Python movie!
MikeD, Mar 25 2008

       Has [Dogcat] ever bothered to read any of these annos or respond?
I'm thinking of making a good pork pie tonight...
xandram, Mar 25 2008

       //Has [Dogcat] ever bothered to read any of these annos or respond?// It currently has only one annotation on the halfbakery, on [Voice]'s "Thought Police 2200".
lurch, Mar 25 2008

       I noticed that too, [xandram]. Made me wonder if he/she/it is just sloughing off ideas and is not bothering to read the responses.   

       There should be a word for "prolific" which also bemoans a lack of quality. "Shitific"?
lostdog, Mar 25 2008

       "Prostercal" is the adjective you're groping for.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 25 2008

       Homemade pork pie? Mmm, I fancy pork pie now. Do homemade ones still have all the jelly round the meat?
david_scothern, Mar 26 2008

       Not to go against the grain here but this is not at its core a new or entirely trollish idea, the concept of sanctioned and refereed war. It has actually shown up in a number of different Sci-Fi and fantasy novels. In particular in the Deed of Paxinarion the main character is recruited as a professional soldier. These armies of professionals are hired by different countries that have a dispute, the parties agree to the rules and weapons that shall be used, and then their "armies" battle and the winner wins the dispute. Additionally all battles take place on a specific island.   

       Another book in which a similar concept is discussed is Kiln People by David Brin. The main characters wife is a professional soldier and fights in sanctioned battles on which the population wagers and watches on TV to see who wins. The battles take place in designated battle zones using weaponry and force sizes that are determined before the battle begins, in this case the armies are run by their home countries.   

       While the idea as presented has a certain troll like quality of glorifying war as a sport, the central concept is something that should not be dismissed out of hand. Such a scenario would eliminate civilian deaths and collateral damage while also reducing the potential for arms races etc.. Just my 2 cents.
jhomrighaus, Mar 26 2008

       I think that if we implemented the Beer State (free beer to all, daily delivered) we'd not even think about war.
vincevincevince, Mar 26 2008

       I think that would cause civil war in the UK.
jtp, Mar 26 2008

       [jhomrighaus], and what happens when a country disagrees with the outcome? How is this different from any other non-war solution, e.g. ruling by a large body such as the UN? The point of a war is not that the two countries mutually decide a winner, it's that the weaker country is so crushed that it no longer matters what they think.
david_scothern, Mar 26 2008

       [david_scothern] War as it exists today is exactly as you state, the point is that this is a line of thought that may lead to something less destructive. If one party loses and is financially ruined then they would not be able to respond(as happens today), however in such a scenario their infrastructure and citizenry would not have been needlessly destroyed.
jhomrighaus, Mar 26 2008

       War is the failure of diplomacy. If diplomacy is abandoned at the outset, isn't that a failure by definition?
lurch, Mar 26 2008

       [jhomrighaus], what happens when they get all narky about you trying to take the money?   

       I'm all for non-destructive means of problem solving, and ways to reconcile disputes between nations without destroying one or the other. However, a really bitter dispute will only be "resolved" by the destruction of one side. We can't legislate and organise war out of existence, sadly - and I don't think this idea gets us any closer.
david_scothern, Mar 26 2008

       Got to go with lurch on this one. War is what happens when people stop being reasonable and feel the need to resort to violence, so there can be no alternative "more reasonable" solution. Otherwise it wouldn't be a war in the first place: it would just be a disagreement.
lostdog, Mar 26 2008

       I agree 100% with both of you, the point here is that war is inevitable and as such the only possible benefit we can hope to garner is to limit the destruction to a particular location and to combatants, rather than inflicting harm on the innocents.
jhomrighaus, Mar 26 2008

       SYMPATHY FOR THE DOGCAT (Sorry, I couldn't resist)   

       I recognize the species of this poor creature: our hapless freind Dogcat is a fine specimin a juvenile Gamer, known (at least in my locality) as either a "munchkin" or a "chode." (Alt sp: "choad.") Typically (though not exclusively) a pre- to mid-adolescent, male, caucasion with unkempt hair and a notable lack of physical fitness, these mostly harmless omnivores tend to congregate in small packs, sometimes defensively attaching themselves to groups of older gamers. They can be easily identified in the wild by thier overabundance of misplaced creativity, lack of worldly experience and/or common sense, and tendency to impulsively touch things that do not belong to them.   

       Dogcat's posts are actually a classic, if crude, example of the Gamer's compulsive desire to turn all forms of armed conflict into neatly regulated and ultimately survivable games.   

       Fear not! Dogcat will, as most chodes eventually do, grow a soul and realize that there is more to gaming than gunz-n-swordz, at which point he will move out of his parent's house, lose a little weight, start using that 3 lb. lump of mush in his skull as more than just an anchor that keeps his spinal cord from sliding out of his ass, and, if he is extremely lucky, find a geeky girl who sees some redeeming value in him. If we can just bear with him until then, he may, someday, evolve into a valuable contributor.   

       By the way, and I am not at all afraid to admit it, my intimate knowledge of this curious animal and his ways is due to the fact that I am, in fact, a reformed gamer myself.
Alterother, Mar 26 2008

       Noble sentiments, jhom, and sentiments with which I totally agree, but I don't think it's possible to wage war in a gentlemanly fashion. Can you imagine a state being defeated in fair combat and just saying - "ah well, fair enough. The best man won. You can do what you like with us now. To the victor the spoils, and all that."   

       It's a nice idea, but it's not realistic. It's a misunderstanding of the concept of war. Look at the role "terrorism" now plays in the world - it's not "war" in the classical sense, but it's the only means that really angry (and possibly deluded) people have to fight against an army that completely outclasses them.   

       War is always dirty. That's why it's war. If we could replace it with the toss of a coin or an arm-wrestling competition then we would have done it by now.
lostdog, Mar 26 2008

       Good first post, alterother. A more cynical man than me might swiftly deduce that there is some connection between yourself and dogcat - luckily that hasn't happened, though... You might want to delete this anno at your earliest convenience.   

       Hope you enjoy the Halfbakery. Tough crowd, but worth persevering with. It's a little corner of sense in an otherwise stupid melange of opinions.
lostdog, Mar 26 2008

       No connection, other than that I, too, once possessed the same combination of imagination and ignorance. Many, many years have passed since then, but not so many that I can't see a little of the annoying little twit I once was in the annoying little twit that Dogcat is. I grew up, and, eventually, he will too.   

       Thank you for the welcome post, [lostdog], but don't fret for me; the voices in my head are far tougher a crowd than any I've encountered on the great anonymous flameworld of the Internet. I'll cope.   

       As for thoughts on warfare, I offer only this: as a veteran of combat on the street-brawler's level and thankfully no higher, I know for a fact that anyone who thinks that there are ANY rules or codes of conduct in a fight of any kind has never been in one. There are no such things as glory, "fighting fair," etc. There are no winners or losers, only survivors and statistics.
Alterother, Mar 27 2008

       Old gamers never die, they just pong.   

       With a name that sounds like alter-ego, everyone will assume that you're somebody's second account. Personally, I don't care whether you are or not, as long as you make sense. Welcome to the bakery; I hope you don't mind the mess.
david_scothern, Mar 27 2008

       [marked-for-tagline]Welcome to the bakery; I hope you don't mind the mess.
Voice, Mar 27 2008

       What global and Dr. Bob said.   

       (Whenever this idiot posts an idea, the discussion should be "What is for dinner tonight?" And then everyone could post a recipe.)
nomocrow, Mar 28 2008

       [david]: Nope, first account, but thanks for pointing that out. "Alterother" is something like an alter ego; a few years ago I had a sculpture in a gallery showing wherein submitting artists were specifically asked to use an assumed name. When it was time to sign my work, that's just what came out. Check out my profile for the formal definition.   

       Sorry... off-topic, I know.   

       Interesting turn of phrase; in New Zealand (and maybe elsewhere, I dunno), "pong" is slang for "a really terrible smell" (noun) or "smells really bad" (verb).
Alterother, Apr 01 2008


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