Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Non-essential Blob Of Speculative Form and Function

Vague and useless blob (with hair detail)
  (+20, -4)(+20, -4)
(+20, -4)
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Non-essential Blob Of Speculative Form and Function can readily be found in any progressive home. Though its appearance is deceptive and mostly unpredictable, it manages to achieve some realiable characteristics:

It randomly moves slowly about when it wants, due to the motorised repositioning of an internal mechanism.

It shivers when it is too cold, sweats when it is too warm and quietly hums in tune with ambient sounds like the fridge, or air-condtioner.

It records segments of other sounds and blurts them out sparodically in short, unpredicatable bursts.

It recharges itself by searching out, and lying on top of its induction pad once a week.

It has a single patch of hair, which you can groom, perm, dye and style according to taste.

It is guaranteed to be entirely without anything but a speculative function.

xenzag, Jul 27 2007

The Blob ! http://www.britfilms.tv/index.php?id=2127
sometimes it throws a tantrum [xenzag, Jul 27 2007]

The Blob ! http://www.jameshar...Images/TheBlob4.jpg
sometimes it becomes amorous [xenzag, Jul 27 2007]

Like a Velvet Glove Cast in Iron http://en.wikipedia..._Glove_Cast_in_Iron
Contains a creepy pet that this thread reminds me of. [jutta, Jul 29 2007]

Kirstey Alley http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Kirstie_Alley
[Ander, Aug 04 2007]

Plumbus from Rick & Morty https://www.youtube...watch?v=eMJk4y9NGvE
Inspired by this idea? [notexactly, Apr 29 2019]


dentworth, Jul 27 2007

       I work with one of these.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 27 2007

       Anything more unpredictable than a toddler is always welcome. I want one.
django, Jul 27 2007

       What kind of doctor do you take it to when it's sick?
phundug, Jul 27 2007

       Sounds like my wife.   

       Badda bum.
nuclear hobo, Jul 28 2007

       Nice, maybe people will show affection for this thing, and it will replace all pets as we know them
quantum_flux, Jul 28 2007

       I'm gonna call mine Booger.   

       "Excuse me, your err, pet is lumping my leg"   

       "Yeah sorry, she gets like that when she's on the blob"
marklar, Jul 29 2007

       Does this LOOK like a dating site to you?(+)
Galbinus_Caeli, Jul 30 2007

       //single patch of hair// Yep, sounds like your wife alright.   

       Badda bum
zeno, Jul 31 2007

       And when it gets too big, you can flush it down the toilet.
k_sra, Jul 31 2007

       Sounds a bit like a surrealist Aibo, but better.
wagster, Jul 31 2007

       Hehe, [Beep], I like the sleeping kitties. maybe like a surrogate when a pet's owner loses one. although I don't see it really working.
k_sra, Aug 03 2007

       My wife's cat?
Paris Hilton?
RayfordSteele, Aug 04 2007

Spacecoyote, Jan 07 2009

       I've been thinking of getting a parrot to perform the functions outlined above - then, when people speculate as to its function, I can just say "It's a parrot, it succeeds".
zen_tom, Jan 07 2009

       You've got to love the internet. I arrived at this idea then followed jutta's link and ended up learning about the bizarre "Kenneth, what is the frequency" attack on Don Rather of whom and about which, I had never heard.
DrBob, Jan 07 2009

       Could it have "eyebrows" so we know what it's "feeling"?
Size_Mick, May 01 2019


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