Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Officially Quashed Object

Ceremonial squelched thing when something is quashed.
  [vote for,

Courtrooms are theatrical places, with wigs, costumes, set pieces, coats of arms and the like. Paradoxically, thisses intent seems to be to get people to feel that justice is being seen to be done, and it often works quite well unless you're one of those "Freemen on the Land" people or whatever. I understand, though, that there are no gavels. There should be gavels.

It's always slightly disappointing when I hear on the news that something has been quashed, as it brings to mind a citrus fruit being squelched beneath a heavy object with considerable force, perhaps yielding some tasty juice. I'm sure this doesn't happen but I wish it did.

Therefore, I propose that on the occasion of something being quashed, a yielding but slightly resistant fluid- filled receptacle be manufactured with the contrary decision clearly printed on it. This should be placed on the judge's bench and the gavel should be brought down upon it, producing a satisfying "squelch" and the exudation of some viscous dark fluid. In high-profile cases, this should be filmed and shown on news and current affairs programmes. The now quashed object should then be shrink-wrapped and transferred to an official quashed storage facility, where it should be refrigerated until required to be examined by legal officials.

nineteenthly, Dec 06 2019


       A lawyer's head would be perfect, although a very large gavel would be needed; a hydraulic press would be better.
8th of 7, Dec 06 2019

       Calls to mind a tombstone whose epitaph records a lawyer's most disastrous and ultimately fatal quashed ruling. Very thin coffin of course, but quite wide. Steamroller all the lawyers?
nineteenthly, Dec 06 2019

       We got your Aveling & Porter steamroller right here, stoked up, safety valve hissing, and ready to go.   

       Hint: always squash them feet first. That way, it prolongs their agony, and you have the opportunity to explain just why they are being executed in such a slow and unpleasant way.
8th of 7, Dec 06 2019

       Include "Cause of Death: Quashed" on the death certificate?
nineteenthly, Dec 06 2019

       More an object to denote a waste of time and resources of a courtroom because the bright people involved should have found the quashing point in the first place.
wjt, Dec 07 2019

       // the bright people involved should have found the quashing point in the first place. //   

       Lawyers are usually paid to do the exact reverse of that. The'brighter' they are, the more likely they are to succeed in their misdirection, obfuscation and concealment of facts.
8th of 7, Dec 07 2019

       I sometimes think the same is true of religious fundamentalists.
nineteenthly, Dec 07 2019

       Would like to see a Quashed-O-Meter, possibly like one of them floral clocks with arms pointing to 57% quashedness for something or other.   

       But who quashes the quashers, tell me that eh?
not_morrison_rm, Dec 07 2019

       Event horizons.
8th of 7, Dec 07 2019

       Random mental breakdowns.
wjt, Dec 08 2019


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