Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tribunals by Cetaceans

Drop a whale on 'em
(+1, -1)
  [vote for,

Recently I've had recourse to converse with lawyers about my employment. In the UK we have a system of tribunals which decide whether someone has been unfairly dismissed and then determine a level of financial compensation to be paid by the offending organisation. However, I've come across a number of cases where the organisation almost automatically declares itself bankrupt, then restarts under another name almost immediately. This leaves a sour taste all round.

Obviously financial penalties are not sufficient deterrent from suspect personnel practices. Something more draconian is required.

The proposal is that the employers sit underneath a cetacean of the employee's choosing, and if the tribunal finds in the employee's favour, then the cetacean is released to descend at great speed upon the directors of the offending company. While the lack of financial compensation to the aggrieved employee may be a burden, society can rest easy that the directors will never be able to run another company again.

To stop the directors from running away, the area should be surrounded by lots of pointy sticks.

(Thanks to [Egbert] for the inspiration.)

PeterSilly, Feb 12 2004

Cetaceans http://www.cetacea.org/
What they are [PeterSilly, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       It would have to be a 1:1 scale model cetacean made from concrete before I could vote for this.
DrBob, Feb 12 2004

       But I like whales.
Detly, Feb 12 2004








       . . <'llllll<
skinflaps, Feb 12 2004

       <obligatory Douglas Adams reference> would a potted petunia be involved as well? </oDAr>
hazel, Feb 12 2004

       What's the difference between a lawyer and a whale?

Only one of them is going to come down on my boss.

       Can we make the company directors sit on one of those exploding whales?
GenYus, Feb 12 2004

       And here I thought we were finally going to give them restitution for all the whaling we did...   

       Wouldn't tribunal by eighteen-wheeler, or by boulder be just as fair and effective... but without harming the cetaceans?
ye_river_xiv, Mar 24 2007

       Not that I'm in favor of hurting critturs but.. whales are rather large and wouldn't need to be dropped very far to have the desired effect? The whale could then be picked up, dusted off and returned to it's natural habitat without further ado. Albeit probably somewhat confused.
MarvinTM, Mar 24 2007


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