Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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One Foot Scales

Save on bathroom floor space
  [vote for,

I have a fairly normal set of bathroom scales, I didn't buy them, they appeared at the same time as 24 varieties of hair products. Anyhow, the device takes up about 1.5 sq ft of bathroom floor space, and is easily large enough to support two of even the largest feet. Now, I have to move this infernal thing around on a daily basis because floor space is at a real premium.

I've noticed that the number of feet I stand on has very little effect on how my mass interacts with gravity. So, taking advantage of this we can make a half-sized set of scales designed to weigh someone while stood on only one foot.

We now have a device that's say 7x13 that performs the same function as the previous floor hog. A few minutes experimentation will reveal that balancing can cause the apparent weight to fluctuate. Not a lot, and even the feeblest of intellects could work out some sort of mid point to get the real number. However, scales that even transiently over read are evil devices that have real malevolent personalities that plot to destroy the self esteem of lady users.

To get around this, the scales will include a hydraulic damper. The basic mechanism of bathroom scales is that weight acts via levers against a spring. The more weight, the more compression of the spring, the higher the reading. Just like a car with worn shock absorbers, this system is prone to act like a non-fun pogo stick. By adding a hydraulic damper* the weight will move slowly up to the correct weight and not bounce around.

Done, half a square ft of bathroom space back.

*I recommend the nice shiny ones from a 1990 Tamiya Egress with the smallest hole piston.

bs0u0155, Feb 05 2018


       Ballet pointe shoe with integral strain gauge.   

       The ultimate space-saver.   

8th of 7, Feb 05 2018

       I thought the collective would have embraced the simplicity and compact dimensions of the meat hook?
bs0u0155, Feb 05 2018

       We tried it, but the Intercalary wriggled off with disconcerting ease, and the next few minutes were highly unpleasant and full of incident.   

       The design has been filed in the "Theoretically useful, but in reality more trouble than it's worth" category.   

       It would have been better if [MB] had actually helped, rather than just sitting there laughing his head off, taking photos and swigging St. Emillion Grand Cru from a two litre platinum chalice he stole from some church somewhere.
8th of 7, Feb 05 2018

       //St. Emillion Grand Cru from a two litre platinum chalice he stole from some church //   

       Booze of that quality in metric units? Was MB slumming on some sort of misguided teenage gap year?
bs0u0155, Feb 05 2018

       The wine comes in the usual 12-bottle case, so nine litres at as time; as to the chalice, he only wanted it as a souvenir, and besides it was only from some foreign place so it doesn't count (according to the Buchanan view of the world, anyway).   

       They may wear daft uniforms, but those Swiss Guards can shift when they want to, mind. Good job he had that getaway motorbike on standby.   

       Riding it straight down the aisle of St. Peter's was a bit tactless though - we warned him,people would notice. But he didn't listen.
8th of 7, Feb 05 2018

       It was only a Clos Fourtet, and it had stopped breathing so there was no time to waste.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 05 2018

       //a souvenir, and besides it was only from some foreign place so it doesn't count//   

       Such narrative is often thrown about in discussion of the British Empire. What is missing is the practical demonstration offered and the services provided following the demonstration. The Elgin marbles for example were acquired with a bit of creative interpretation. If that's all it takes, then it's only a matter of time. You'd need much more than a little creativity to get them out of the British museum, they're clearly well defended at the moment. Similarly, we noticed that India was poorly defended in another practical demonstration, Australia we assumed wasn't defended until all the poisonous things and drought became obvious, now we leave some wizened, wretched souls to act as warning to the world.   

       //Riding it straight down the aisle of St. Peter's was a bit tactless though//   

       I bet there was a complete absence of "no entry" signs or in fact any of the standard safety equipment required by a civilized society.
bs0u0155, Feb 05 2018

       //Riding it straight down the aisle of St. Peter's was a bit tactless though// Nah, it was OK. I know the boss.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 05 2018

       You rode it right over the pope's foot. His actual foot. We saw you do it. He's not a young man, it must have really hurt him. What did you expect him to do ? He wasn't that fast on his feet before, to let him get out of your way, and he's certainly not fast now - not with the plaster cast and the crutches and all.   

       And that was not a blessing he shouted after you, whatever you say. In a church, too, in front of all those nuns, and him a priest. Yes, he was in pain, but we didn't expect he knew words like that, let alone shout them at someone. Shocking.
8th of 7, Feb 05 2018

       If bathroom floor space is limited, surely you need ceiling-mounted scales? These would be mounted on the ceiling with handy grab handles hanging from them. Simply grab the handles and hang from them and look up to read the weight off the display.
hippo, Feb 06 2018

       //surely you need ceiling-mounted scales?// If I ever own a house the, er, overhead environment will be up to something approaching shipbuilding specifications. I've seen stairlift prices. A little work at the planning stages could outfit a home with a 5 ton overhead gantry crane for minimal extra cost and the payoff would start immediately. Need to move a dishwasher... Gantry crane, washing machine? Gantry crane, Costco trip? Gantry crane.
bs0u0155, Feb 06 2018

       Move corpse from bedroom to bathroom for dismemberment ? Gantry crane....   

       Sheer genius, you should post that as an idea in its own right.
8th of 7, Feb 06 2018

       Houses in Amsterdam already have something like this. The stairs in these houses are always too narrow and steep to get anything up them so many older houses have beams with pulleys on the end sticking out from the roof gable into the street. You sometimes see them being used and house movers swinging say, a washing machine, in through an upper storey window.
hippo, Feb 06 2018

       We are well aware that the sexual culture in Amsterdam is liberal in the extreme, but this is the first time we have had reliable information that not only do the human inhabitants of the Netherlands indulge in 'swinging", but even their domestic appliances.   

       Who knew, huh ?
8th of 7, Feb 06 2018


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