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Oral Sex Alarm Clock

Perk up before you wake up.
  (+11, -4)
(+11, -4)
  [vote for,

Problems getting up, constantly late for work, can't stop hitting the snooze button, well try the Oral Sex Alarm Clock.

Guaranteed to encourage you to get you out of bed and have a great day.

uniball2, Dec 05 2001

Why does sex make men sleepy? http://www.straight...lassics/a5_183.html
An inconclusive "it doesn't". [pottedstu, Dec 05 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) Goblin teasmade http://www.teasmade.com/index.htm
For those desperate for a hobby. [DrBob, Dec 05 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

The "Snoregasm" alarm clock http://www.buzzfeed...noregasm-clock-281t
Baked! - sort of. [hippo, Nov 18 2011]


       Um, so this is like, well, what is it exactly? A small watch you wear on your, er, well, not your wrist. . . .
bristolz, Dec 05 2001

       Ah, but the flood of oxytocin after the oral sex (if you're male, that is) would result in feelings of drowsy bliss, causing you to immediately roll over and go back to sleep. Which is, incidentally, why men often fit the stereotype of not wanting conversation after sex. Cigarette then sleep. It's a biological imperative. (OK, maybe not the cigarette bit.)
Guy Fox, Dec 05 2001

       oh. most of mine want it once or twice more before going to sleep.
lewisgirl, Dec 05 2001

       I wouldn't fancy cleaning it after it had been used a few times.   

       Only someone very, very single would buy such an alarm.
Redbrickterrace, Dec 05 2001

       According to the Straight Dope, sex doesn't make you sleepy. (He does, however acknowledge flaws in the experiments, which involved inserting large metal probes in the subjects' anuses to measure the intensity of their orgasms, which may not have been conducive to relaxation.)
pottedstu, Dec 05 2001

       I don't think it makes you sleepy; I think it makes you stop wanting sex for a while. I think the desire for sleep stems from the fact that a lot of activity in this field happens after hours; it's not that they suddenly became sleepy, it's that they've suddenly lost a relatively important reason to stay awake.
bookworm, Dec 05 2001

       we call it a full stop, people may have missed your meaning, bliss
po, Dec 05 2001

       Well she does seem kind of wound up.
bristolz, Dec 05 2001

       Does anyone remember that joke about Goblin Teasmaids? Whatever happened to them (the teasmaids, not jokes) I wonder?
Gordon Comstock, Dec 05 2001

       Gordon, see link for all the answers to your teasmade questions.
DrBob, Dec 05 2001

       Where is benfrost?
thumbwax, Dec 05 2001

       Oral Sex Alarm Clock . . . hmmmm. . .

Given that illegality is never a barrier to ideas here, why not just hire a prostitute on a daily basis? Granted, it would get expensive, but if you, um, "get up" in the mornings, you would be in the profession's off-peak hours and might get a discount rate.
quarterbaker, Dec 05 2001

       Heh, "clock rings." Nice, [UB].
bristolz, Dec 05 2001

       This idea was half-baked in a slightly different form, although I think the author has deleted it. If I remember correctly though, that version worked on the prostate... Not quite so messy, but still, daunting when you think of how it must be applied.
sdm, Dec 05 2001

       When I saw 'idea' title, I assumed benfrost was Author.
thumbwax, Dec 06 2001

       Fishboned? How strange! Two different models would be available, one for each gender. Speaking for myself, this would make me leap out of bed in a great mood to face the world.
rbl, Mar 12 2002

       is aural sex - talking about it?
po, Mar 12 2002

       An alarm clock? Why wait till morning and would be you be able to sleep the night before waiting for it to go off.   

       "why are you setting your alarm clock for 4am dear?"
IvanIdea, Mar 12 2002

       would need about a 20 minutes snooze setting. [blissmiss], task at hand is a whole different method.
rbl, Mar 12 2002

       This idea makes me think of gnashing, sharp-pronged steel jaws malfunctioning and munching off one's todger first thing in the morning, but maybe that's just me. I think the threat of oral sex would get me out of bed pronto.
nineteenthly, Nov 18 2011

       I think the mess makes me want to get out of bed more than anything. How about a clock that shoots goo at you, thus compelling you to get up and shower?
bob, Nov 18 2011

       (Obligatory) Baked - your mother!   

       Coincidentally, I yesterday saw an episode of River Monsters, featuring a fish that was performing extra rough rough trade on (male) swimmers. The fish have bizarrely human looking - and feeling, apparently - teeth.
spidermother, Nov 18 2011


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