Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Why on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?

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OrwellWorld

A very dark place ...
  (+4)
(+4)
  [vote for,
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Unlike most theme parks, which attempt to amuse, excite and entertain, OrwellWorld - based of course of George Orwell's dystopian novel "1984" - is drab, cheerless and bleak.

The visitors are under constant surveillance by the management from the first moment they arrive; there are CCTV cameras everywhere, and huge screens which constantly blare out "prolefeed" - simplistic propaganda, demonizing the "enemies" of the State, and exalting the regime including their front man, Big Brother. Truth- and content-free, the endless stream of mindless rubbish is carefully engineered by the Ministry of Truth to keep the watchers in a state of bemused docility.

If you're not fooled, though, best not to show it; in this surveillance society, the Thought Police are ever vigilant, and the slightest word, gesture, even the wrong look or facial expression, and you'll be whisked away to be "re-educated". No deviation from the Party line, however insane it seems, is tolerated. Dissent is ruthlessly crushed.

All the food establishments serve identical heavily-subsidised but poor-quality, bland, disappointing meals and beverages. Almost everyone walks, or uses the slow, unreliable mass transit systems, as although private vehicles are permitted they are only allocated to senior members of the Inner Party, who can afford the ridiculously high fuel prices.

But the best thing about OrwellWorld is it's absolutely free to get in. You don't even need to travel anywhere.

Just walk out through your front door ...

8th of 7, Dec 25 2018

Eurasia's coming along just fine. https://www.caughto...-cameras-in-london/
[doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018]

The First Amendment https://en.wikipedi...States_Constitution
[doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018]

Make a joke that offends the ruling elite... https://www.bbc.com...asgow-west-43478925
...get arrested. [doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018]

You have complete freedom of speech in England. https://www.indepen...ondon-a7064246.html
As long as you say what the government allows you to say. [doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018]

And be sure to visit Big Brother's website that explain hate crime arrests and guidelines. https://www.gov.uk/...-wales-2017-to-2018
Please note: GOV.UK uses cookies to make the site "simpler". [doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018]

Book Burning in America https://newrepublic...huac-and-eisenhower
[xenzag, Dec 26 2018]

More book burning in America http://www.constant...n-the-21st-century/
[xenzag, Dec 26 2018]

Censorship of artworks in America https://interactive...artistic-censorship
[xenzag, Dec 26 2018]

The way to start every day. https://www.blackri...variant=34453567110
[doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018]

A week in Xinjiang https://palladiumma...surveillance-state/
Already baked in China [Selky, Dec 26 2018]

Orville https://www.youtube...watch?v=TGnuMxFnc1k
[xenzag, Dec 27 2018]

[link]






       Nice, the greylight zone between all those important places , and actions that make us something in life.
wjt, Dec 25 2018
  

       Sounds exactly like North America.
xenzag, Dec 25 2018
  

       // North America //   

       Sp. "Oceania", of which Airstrip One is a province.
8th of 7, Dec 25 2018
  

       This sounds like you've been to Labor party conference recently, or a Conservative one, actually just about any of them they're all pretty much as bad as each other, you should check out the Greens next time those guys are insane, literally.   

       //the Greens//   

       I found their last manifesto when I read it really quite amusing (if you can define "amusing" as petrified & pants wetingly horrified with a soupcon of terror tinged with a faint corona of relief that it can't possibly happen). I woke screaming for months after I read it last time (or was it the time before last?.. no matter). Sometimes I didn't even need to go to sleep first.   

       <finishes reading/>   

       Ah, I see, so should we call someone or will necking the rest of the eggnog do the trick?
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       That's very strange. When I walk out of my front door, all I can see is the sequoia avenue.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Sounds exactly like North America//   

       Not if you go North enough... and if you go far enough North they'll cut you a check at the end of every year you don't get arrested for anything.   

       // sequoia avenue //   

       Just be glad it isn't Privet Drive ...   

       // they're all pretty much as bad as each other, //   

       Yes, that's the problem with representative democracy.   

       // check out the Greens next time those guys are insane, literally. //   

       Just because they want everyone to renounce advanced technology such as fire and the use of edged tools, and live in wattle-and-daub huts on a diet of raw vegetables doesn't necessarily mean they're actually insane.   

       But it's a reasonable conclusion based on the available evidence.   

       // so should we call someone //   

       No need. The Thought Police have been monitoring you and will be round directly to take you to Room 101 for an enlightening chat with Mr. O'Brien.   

       // or will necking the rest of the eggnog do the trick? //   

       Probably not.
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       Ignorance of the system means everything is fine.
So
//a very dark place//
on normal probabilities, not.
wjt, Dec 26 2018
  

       [xenzag] you'd be pleasantly surprised you can still get a car anywhere in North America. Try to not get your reeducation interfere too much with reality.   

       Thought crime is a natural evolution of a society where most wear their politics on their social feed, where conveniently enough you can look up things that used to be ok, but are now forbidden.   

       The purges of 2035, when everyone must become vegan and they dredge up all those foodie pictures they put on Instagram, are going to be particularly fun
theircompetitor, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Sounds exactly like North America. — xenzag,//   

       Have to get your two minute hate on eh? Is "Xenzag" a play on "xenophobe"? Gotta wonder what hole in your life that hatred is filling because you cling to it like it's the most important thing on Earth.   

       You live in a place where you can get arrested for making a joke on line that offends the ruling elite. We have a first amendment that you've never ever heard of. You'll be Googling it after you read this.   

       And care to guess how many security cameras there are surveilling the citizens of London? Take a wild guess then click the link. Hint: The average Londoner is caught on camera 300 times a day. Hell, you've even got your Emmanuel Goldstein in the form of Donald Trump.   

       Before you start calling Oceana might want to start looking at your own Eurasia.
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       //you can get arrested for making a joke on line that offends the ruling elite// Well, no, not in fact. Prince Charles has stupidly large ears. No problemo.   

       //We have a first amendment that you've never ever heard of// Well, again, I'd have to slightly disagree, inasmuch as the average Brit or European (have to get used to using that 'or' now) is probably familiar with the first amendment (perhaps not the exact wording, but how many Americans can quote it verbatim? And how many English laws can you quote?).   

       We don't have the absoluteness of your 1st, but there is plenty of case history that establishes much of what you seek from the first amendment, and which is quite robust. Freedom of the press and freedom of speech are pretty vigorously defended. Our laws are also capable of being updated or adapted should the realities of life change between, say, 1791 and 2019.   

       On the other hand, we can and do take action against, say, an islamic fundamentalist who preaches hate or violence; under your 1st, presumably he can carry on and the law can't intervene until someone is killed. It sort of cuts both ways.   

       Nothing against the 1st Amendment, but please don't imply that we in the UK have no freedoms or are ignorant of how things work in other countries. Of course, I can't speak for the French.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       Argument: "I"ve made a joke and didn't get arrested so that means the linked incident of somebody making a joke on line and getting prosecuted never happened."   

       Rebuttle: Sigh. (See link.)   

       I didn't say you were un-familiar with the First Amendment, I said Xenzag was.   

       And can I ask a question? What's with all this hatred of America you guys are indoctrinated with? We used to be friends. I understand the leftists need to divide to conquor, but damn! How is it working so well?   

       It's a shame, but I guess we're just due for our regularly scheduled world conflagration. Been a regular event for thousands of years, don't see why anything would change, I just never saw us being on opposite sides.   

       I myself love England and most of the English people.   

       Just not Xenazg.
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       And oh yea, almost forgot, [+] for the idea.
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Prince Charles//   

       Perhaps not the best example of what you're trying to demonstrate (that offending the "ruling elite" won't necessarily result in censure), he's not exactly one of the "ruling" elite last I looked, neither is the Queen if we're being honest, & he's not even Queen yet.   

       //but how many Americans can quote it verbatim?//   

       Given the way I've always understood it to be rammed down their throats from their equivalent of primary school on up, much like the lords prayer at school assembly here used to be (is it still by the way?), I'd imagine the answer is quite a lot?   

       With a few notable exceptions early indoctrination can really be quite effective.   

       //We don't have the absoluteness of your 1st//   

       Personally I wish we did, though perhaps something a bit more succinct ([8th] is going to spit here) like the French one.   

       //an islamic fundamentalist who preaches hate or violence; under your 1st, presumably he can carry on and the law can't intervene//   

       Only if he's an American citizen, I don't think it's protections extend to non-citizens do they?
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Argument// Yes, in that instance the guy was arrested for getting his dog to do a Nazi salute to statements like "gas the Jews" (I didn't read about him making a joke against the 'ruling elite' - presumably the PM or the royal family? But we have plenty of people who do that already and it's fine). It's possible that we in Europe are over- sensitive about things like Nazis, but on the other hand, I'm not too worried about the rights of a neo-Nazi, if I'm honest.   

       //question// I suspect part of it is that you guys have more money than we do, which will always lead to certain amount of ribbing. Gun law, of course, will always provoke heated debate, because we think you're barmy and you think we're barmy.   

       Another factor is probably the economic imperialism of the US, by which I mean the tendency of the US to homogenise foreign cultures by means of economic power. To be fair, the English did exactly the same thing, though more often through military means. As individuals (and including you, [doc]), I like most Americans. Most of my family is, in fact, American. As a nation, though, you do rather set yourselves up to be disliked, and electing Trump has not exactly helped.   

       //he's not exactly one of the ruling elite// I was trying to guess who [doc] was referring to by "ruling elite". But, if it's the PM, we in the UK are awash with comedians, satirists and humorists who regularly lampoon pretty much all of our politicians. My understanding is that I can say whatever I like about our PM; if I say "she'll be at this place on this date, and somebody ought to shoot her from this vantage point", I might be in trouble if I said it in context that made it apparent I was sincere; and if I say "she has molested small children", she could take action against me for slander or libel, again depending on the context in which I'd said it. (As an aside, the royal family have a policy of seldom - if ever - suing for slander or libel.)   

       //Only if he's an American citizen// I don't know whether the 1st amendment applies to non-citizens in the US. But there are something like 3 million US citizens who profess to being muslim - about the same as the number of UK muslims, though against a smaller overall population. That was just an example.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Just not Xenazg//   

       Gasp!   

       That's blatant Xenazgism (is that a thing?).   

       But at least [xenzag]'s safe :)
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       Don't like Xenzag either, but I really hate Xenazg.   

       Whoever they are.   

       (Note to self: don't type angry.)
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       // blatant Xenazgism (is that a thing?). //   

       We sincerely hope so. Several multinational corporations have been covertly paying us a lot of money to promote the concept.   

       // homogenise foreign cultures by means of economic power. //   

       While not exactly ethical, it may be infinitely preferable to homogenising foreign cultures by means of, for example, a wood chipper ...
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       I'm not easily bullied. As for freedom of speech in North America; there are numerous expressions that cannot be voiced, and of course there is the ever present threat of being gunned down by one of the hundreds of millions of guns people need there to be safe from each other's frequent tendence towards violent lunacy.
xenzag, Dec 26 2018
  

       It's just a population control measure [xen], the Chinese had the one child rule, the Americans let their populace run around with semi automatic weapons, we're still trying to work out from the statistical models which method works best before we inflict it on the rest of the world.
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       <pauses to wonder how free Americans were to express Communist opinions, not so very long ago>
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       actually, [MB], pretty free. One of the ironies of PC is how quickly those who were raised on the horrors of McCarthyism and blacklisting feel free to say "you have a right to an opinion, but not a job".   

       As to [xenzag]'s one-note anti-Americanism, a broken clock is at least right once a day. Something to strive for.
theircompetitor, Dec 26 2018
  

       //you have a right to an opinion, but not a job// That was sort of what I was getting at. The first amendment only protected your freedom to incriminate yourself.   

       I guess my more general point was that "freedom of speech" is whatever your government (any government) chooses to give you at the time. If they sufficiently dislike what you are saying, they will of course find a way to keep you silent.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       yes, but that there are practical limits to this freedom does not mean it is not palpably larger than elsewhere. And while it takes the occasional hit, even major hit like with the Patriot Act, it is constantly being tested, and typically being enlarged, in the courts.   

       The recent more Orwellian developments are more akin to the Body Snatchers than to 1984. They're much more biological than governmental
theircompetitor, Dec 26 2018
  

       //more Orwellian developments are more akin to the Body Snatchers than to 1984//   

       You're not proposing the best way to deal with that is to just smash their heads in with fire axe while they're still in their pods are you?   

       <considers the idea>   

       I'm.. not sure I could (wholeheartedly) disagree, but it does sound a touch extreme :)
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       If you taught a parrot to repeat an expression containing the 'n' word, would you be allowed to broadcast the results on American mainstream television?
xenzag, Dec 26 2018
  

       You're on the Halfbakery in 2018. Television? Have you heard of Youtube?   

       You also can't say cunt, and NBC does not broadcast people defecating, though it has no problems showing people that are full of shit. That's your criteria for the failings of the 1st Amendment?
theircompetitor, Dec 26 2018
  

       //I'm not easily bullied//   

       But you sure bully others easily enough. If you want to know the difference between bully and defender, the person who starts it is the bully.   

       With all respect Max, we're at the stage over here of private organizations blocking certain posts and points of view which is their right, it's their platform. I don't agree with it but I believe they have a right to do it. Your gov is actually arresting people for making jokes. That's not an empty allegation. I think that's chilling. Prince Charles has big ears? Try saying he's part of the elitist plot to import certain groups to change the demographic to one that affords the government more control over the indigenous population who may pose a threat to their power base. True or not, give it a shot. My suggestion is that you don't. They may not arrest you today, but you're likely to get on a watch list.   

       Or here's a better idea. How about we all be nice to each other, if only for the holidays? (He said as they dragged him to the town square to be stoned.)
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       On a tangential disparaging note (& with no reference to the politics of the individual intended), does that panda eyed orange pod person in the oval office that appears to have stolen one of Boris's hairpieces honestly think that's a good look do you think?   

       Personally I'd be embarrassed to go out in public looking like that :)
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       My point is that there numerous statements; words even, that you are not 'free' to make. There are serious consequences. Say what you want, but if you say any of 'this', you'll be out of a job, or even worse. It's not that long ago that Beatles records were being burnt in America.
xenzag, Dec 26 2018
  

       If you don't understand the difference between a protest by private individuals who paid for Beatles records with their own money and then burned them, and an official government ban of those records being sold or played over the radio, well, I'm not sure where to start.
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       See last 3 links.
xenzag, Dec 26 2018
  

       I'd have to agree with [doc] there, only a little while back some protesters against the Iraq war (or was it the Afghan one they were protesting?) were actually jailed for burning a Union Jack they'd bought with their own money, during a peaceful protest, in the UK, sent shivers up my spine that.   

       I'm not sure they'd have fared any better if it had been in the US though so that doesn't really do your argument any favors either [doc].
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       //This coming week on Nov. 5 (Guy Fawkes Day in the UK), a battered women’s refuge in England will be hosting a public book burning of Fifty Shades of Grey, calling it a manual for abuse.//
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       Wasn't the Christmas song "baby it's cold outside" recently banned from the airwaves in America for being too suggestive? Ha
xenzag, Dec 26 2018
  

       //I'm not sure they'd have fared any better if it had been in the US though so that doesn't really do your argument any favors ether [doc]//   

       A citizens right to burn the American flag was tested by the Supreme Court of the United States.
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       ^ Really, what was the verdict?
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       It's protected by the First Amendment.   

       Xen, do you bother to read any of the posts you're linking too? You're just typing in "American censorship" and linking without reading that each link you post shows that every attempt has been shut down.   

       We have no banned books, you can get all the pornography you want and you can burn the American flag. You're referring to battles the defenders of freedom of speech have won or in one case, a private industry electing to put age warnings on their product.   

       How about picking another group of people to bully? You're just embarrassing yourself attacking mine.
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Fifty Shades of Grey// ha - Burn after reading of course.
xenzag, Dec 26 2018
  

       OK, I smiled at that one.   

       Wishing you a peaceful holiday and a happy new year Xen.   

       Thank you for a spirited debate eh?
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       //You're just embarrassing yourself attacking mine//   

       I don't think it would make any difference, it's the critical thinking & choice of attack vector that's doing him damage, a change of target won't help with that? but it should be pointed out he's not embarrassing himself, it's clear from observation he's had his embarrassment gland removed :)
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       [xenzag]'s criticism of the 1st Amendment's supposed limitations reminds me of the old Soviet era joke where a Westerner tells a Soviet citizen that "we have freedom's here. I can stand in front of the White House and call the President an idiot", where the Soviet citizen promptly responds by saying that "big deal, I can stand on Red Square and call your President an idiot too!".   

       Of course the real joke was that in fact a Soviet citizen could not even do that, and, unless it was a previously sanctioned or state sponsored demonstration, would like have been at the very least question or perhaps arrested even for doing that, as freedom of assembly and speech was not guaranteed.
theircompetitor, Dec 26 2018
  

       <puts on Peacemaker hat. Hopes nobody notices that it is out of a cracker and has "Pacemaker" crayoned across it.>   

       Gentlemen and madamoiselles, I think the point is that the US and the UK are roughly equivalent when it comes to freedom of speech. In the US, it's embodied in the First Amendment, and courts can judge whether any particular instance is an exception to that amendement or not. In the UK, it's embodied by case law that is regularly challenged, defended and questioned on a case-by-case basis. In both countries, social activism imposes an additional and independent level of control over what can and can't be said in practice, regardless of the law. The end result is roughly similar across the two countries, and considerably more indulgent than soviet Russia or North Korea, for which we should all be grateful.   

       I'm sure that for every instance of someone being either arrested or lynched or publicly shamed for saying something in one country, there'll be a counterpart in the other using either the same or alternate means. As for the restriction on profanities in the US, I'm all for it - I hate cunts who swear.   

       The only real issue I have concerns the American usage of the word "beverage", as I may have alluded to earlier.   

       <Takes off hat; squeezes temples and wonders why he has had this sudden outburst of reasonableness.>
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       all this time I thought you guys were simply saying "can't"
theircompetitor, Dec 26 2018
  

       LOL. (Actually a smile and a "snarf" sound but we've covered that before.)
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       Incidentally, and completely irrelevant to almost everything (if not absolutely everything), I have discovered during my times in the US that there is one word that Americans simply cannot use. It is "bloody". I have even tried to help Americans use it, but it simply refuses to work. Maybe it's the same as the English inability to use the word "dang".
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       They don't know what wankers are either. (or mingers)
xenzag, Dec 26 2018
  

       "Wank" means to... uh... self pleasure here so I always assumed that "wankers" was the British equivalent of our "jerk offs".   

       I'm not going to google it though.
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       <Aside>   

       Hmmmm ... this idea has become more contentious than we could ever imagine ...   

       </Aside>   

       <Emperor Palpatine>   

       "Good ! Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you !"   

       </Emperor Palpatine>
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Hmmmm ... this idea has become more contentious than we could ever imagine ...//   

       OK, don't brag now.   

       //Let the hate flow through you!//   

       It's how I start my day. That and coffee. (link)
doctorremulac3, Dec 26 2018
  

       You owe me now. (8th) Payment (substantial and possibly severe) will be collected at a time, place and manner of my choosing.
xenzag, Dec 26 2018
  

       <Darth Sidious>   

       "Oh no, young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken - about a great many things. Give in to your anger ... with each passing moment you make yourself more my servant..."   

       </Darth Sidious>
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       <isolated point thought>   

       Isn't embarrassment a young emotion? One born of hiding and running rather than experiencing time and seeing the whole situation with it's quantified level of matter. Is the American public embarrassed that it voted in Trump? Is the English public embarrassed by Brexit?   

       < isolated point thought/>
wjt, Dec 26 2018
  

       // Is the American public embarrassed that it voted in Trump? //   

       Clearly not, based on the outcome of the mid-term elections.   

       // Is the English public embarrassed by Brexit? //   

       Some might be; they are more embarrassed by the blatant ineptitude of their elected representatives, who do not seem to grasp the essential of English foreign policy since 1125 AD, which boils down to "These are merely foreigners; you don't negotiate with them, you just kill lots of them, and smash up their countries until they do what you tell them."
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Is the English public embarrassed by Brexit?//   

       Well I'm not (can't speak for anyone else mind), bloody annoyed they haven't got on with it & taken us out already would be more like it for my feelings on the matter.   

       //Is the American public embarrassed that it voted in Trump?//   

       Why, because of that silly fake tan? or the polemic so often off target tweeting? I imagine most Americans will simply ask themselves if enough of the things they wanted to happen have happened or not & then feel let down or happy depending on the answer, much like most Brits in the same situation I doubt personal embarrassment ever really comes into the equation.
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       <Winston Churchill>   

       "Shend ... a gunboat !"   

       <Raises two fingers at Johnny Foreigner/>   

       </Winston Churchill>
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       // Is the English public embarrassed by Brexit? // Pretty much what they said. Brexit, remain - either is OK. But I am utterly mortified at the utter shambles our politicians (of all parties, and leavers as well as remainers) have made of it. It's an absolute national disgrace. Every single politician in the country should be taken out and shot. Right now. Then shot again to make sure.   

       (And no, I won't be arrested for saying that.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       (only for doing it, or actively encouraging others to do it)   

       You might be watched a tad more closely to make sure you're not stockpiling any more cartridges than strictly necessary for the Buchanan estate's annual pheasant shoot though.. by the way, I don't seem to have received my invite yet this year?
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       You probably don't want to go. Annoyed by the below-normal stocks of game birds, Sturton engaged on a surreptitious programme of selective breeding. When that didn't produce results fast enough, he resorted to genetic modification.   

       Initially, results were encouraging; clutch size increased from eight or so up to two dozen. Then, adding in some Ostrich genes produced much larger specimens. But then he got ambitious, and (having worn out his DVD of Jurassic Park) started tinkering with prehistoric DNA.   

       Now, it might still have been alright, if he hadn't decided that Velociraptor was a good thing to add to the blend ...   

       It's not like the old days. Or rather, it is like the old days - the very old days - when two metre tall bipedal lizards roamed the land, predating everything in sight ...   

         

       // Every single politician in the country should be taken out and shot. //   

       We are obliged to strongly disagree. By precedent, traitors to the Crown were either hung, drawn and quartered, or burnt at the stake.   

       Shooting's too good for them; too quick, not painful enough. Something more inventive, more redolent of gratuitous brutality and pointless suffering, like hanging, drawing, and then quartering them while they're on fire, would be much more satisfactory.
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       ^ It's comments like this that make me want to post an idea demanding the ability to shower annotations with croissants.. and then I remember that idea has already been posted (hasn't it?) & I can only bestow the one pastry (that I think?) I already have on it :)   

       Might I suggest the small addition of flaying before we start on the rest of it?
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       Of course. Flaying it is. Perhaps some salt to sprinkle on the wounds, too ?
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Sturton engaged on a surreptitious programme of selective breeding//   

       Noted, I'll break out the large gauge elephant gun for this year then.
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       Salt? I've a rather large shipment of Wasabi oil I've been having trouble offloading, I thought we might try that.
Skewed, Dec 26 2018
  

       //Sturton engaged on a surreptitious programme of selective breeding//   

       (a) Nothing Sturton ever does is surreptitious, even though most of the things he does should be.   

       (b) We do actually have Buchanan-estate strain of partridge. They have an unusual reflex reaction to shock or injury, which causes intense muscle spasms and rigidity. The advantage is that if they're shot, they enter an uncontrolled dive and end up landing like arrows, beak-first into the peatland. This makes it easier to go around and collect them later. Last year, I had one partridge take out a pheasant when it landed, which was much celebrated.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       // Buchanan-estate strain of partridge. //   

       You are presumably referring to the flock of agressive carnivorous creatures with ten metre leathery wings, that have colonized the South-West observatory tower ?   

       Those are pterodactyls, not partridges. Partridges are small, ground-dwelling avians that forage in fields and hedgerows. They are not renowned for swooping down from high altitude and snatching up adult sheep, which they then carry off to their roost, and devour.   

       Tearing that page out of the Ladybird Book of Dinosaurs and sticking it into your copy of The Oxford Book of British Flying Creatures (amending the title with a marker pen doesn't fool anyone) does not make them into birds.   

       And having looked through the mysterious new "errata" section that's been stapled to the back, we suspect that J. K. Rowling's legal team may want to have a chat about copyright.
8th of 7, Dec 26 2018
  

       //the flock of agressive carnivorous creatures with ten metre leathery wings// I think you'll find that's a flock of lawyers.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 26 2018
  

       I keep reading this idea as OrvilleWorld. See youtube link (pssst - Orville is one of 8th's favourite characters)
xenzag, Dec 27 2018
  

       You're quite right; Orville is truly one of the all-time greats, indeed he has god-like status.   

       He and his brother Wilbur achieved amazing things.
8th of 7, Dec 27 2018
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

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