Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pack of Lies

"I really can't, the circus is in town and I got free tickets."
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A Pack of Lies is exactly what you'll get with this product. Each Pack of Lies contains fifty-two cards, and on each card is a unique excuse. These are general, multi-purpose, "prior engagement" type excuses, including such gems as "My nephew has to make a DNA model for science class" and "My dog has eaten the remote control so I have to go to the emergency room right now". Simply shuffle the deck, and select one from the top. When they're all spent, just reshuffle and begin again!

Pack of Lies, you can't avoid without them.

[ sctld ], Feb 19 2006

(?) Bush has a pack of these...... http://www.politica..._weblog_archive.htm
[xandram, Feb 21 2006]

[dbmag9] wants this... http://www.davesweboflies.com/search.cgi
[jonthegeologist, Feb 26 2006]

Bird at upper left, slightly different shape and color https://www.colourb...-tree-image-6733030
[normzone, Sep 26 2016]

[link]






       where ya been?
po, Feb 19 2006
  

       I want other versions too. As well as all the various exucuse packs, I want a pack that just has random lies, such as "There exists a variety of parrot, in South America, which spends all its time upside-down pretending to be a coconut".   

       Or another one: "I will not give this idea a bun".
dbmag9, Feb 19 2006
  

       (God, you must be almost 18 by now!)
Great idea for us compulsive liars with little time, and/or imagination.
blissmiss, Feb 19 2006
  

       I was going to link to a book of excuses I saw recently, but there are so many out there, I can't figure out which one it was. Great addition to the novelty gift rack!
DrCurry, Feb 19 2006
  

       Ladies purse version: the Tissue Pack of Lies.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 19 2006
  

       [-]
Dub, Feb 19 2006
  

       This statement is a lie.
DesertFox, Feb 19 2006
  

       I'm going to staple a pack-sized pocket in my Late Excuse day planner RIGHT NOW!   

       I used to have jar of excuses for a similar purpose. [+]
MikeOxbig, Feb 19 2006
  

       Very much like mine, I'd hazard.
calum, Feb 21 2006
  

       I nearly said that!   

       about [calum]'s that is!
po, Feb 21 2006
  

       This would be a perfect complement for a box of flammable underwear and a gonflable nose.
skinflaps, Feb 21 2006
  

       "Yes, um, sorry I lied to you about my gonflable nose but you see..." <rummages in bag, finds card> "I wasn't allowed to tell you about it because I was testing it for the UN. Ow! My pants!"
wagster, Feb 21 2006
  

       To make it a complete pack of lies there should actually only be 47 cards (even though it says 52 on the packaging).
DrBob, Feb 21 2006
  

       //Ow! My pants!//   

       :) Ha ha.
Zuzu, Feb 21 2006
  

       Baked. I've got a whole crate of these.
coprocephalous, Feb 21 2006
  

       liar.   

       Presumably the range will be extended to provide the complicated web of lies?
jonthegeologist, Feb 26 2006
  

       //web of lies// Sorry, thought you said //web of flies//. Now I'm hungry.
spidermother, Feb 26 2006
  

       Good linking, [jtg]. If you repeatedly click the 'random lie' button you get the same lie each time. Lyers!   

       [edit] A sample lie:   

       The Vatican's leading quantum theologian, Cardinal Gerund III, has recently advanced a stunning new theory and brought together the world of religion and quantum mechanics at one stroke. He claims to have successfully recreated the biblical miracle of the loaves and the fishes by quantum state fluctuations - literally causing the atoms of the feast to appear out of thin air. Researchers at MIT have disputed this claim heatedly, saying their own independent tests showed that producing more than a small croissant and a sardine by this method required 12 Megawatts of power, more energy than was available in Biblical times.   

       Six megawatts of croissant for you, [scld]
spidermother, Feb 26 2006
  

       " I want other versions too. As well as all the various exucuse packs, I want a pack that just has random lies, such as "There exists a variety of parrot, in South America, which spends all its time upside-down pretending to be a coconut".   

       Or another one: "I will not give this idea a bun". — dbmag9, Feb 19 2006 "   

       Oddly enough, there really is such a bird (link). And 33 people have bunned this idea, with no one fishboning it.
normzone, Sep 26 2016
  
      
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