h a l f b a k e r y
No, not that kind of baked.
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now the impossible can become reality! with this kit, you will have all the proper evidence to fake your own alien abduction. when you've used up all your vacation days and sick days at work and need an outrageous excuse to miss more. this kit will make your missed days at work seem insignificant.
you'll be a hero featured on the news all over the country. when you mysteriously re-appear from the abduction, use the kit's mad-libs autobiography guide to write an auto-biography that will shoot to the top of the new york times best seller list. then, you'll be able to retire and never have to step foot in your office again!