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Parallel Universe for Frustrated Belgians Like Myself

You are welcome
  (+11, -3)(+11, -3)
(+11, -3)
  [vote for,

Most important inventions and ideas were made by Belgians.

But, because of a particular set of hegemonies (first Spanish, then French, then German and now Anglosaxon), this is seldom recognized.

From the invention of beer or french fries, to the Higgs boson - the most interesting and creative emanations of the human spirit first appeared in Belgium.

Some examples:

-the Higgs boson was in fact first discovered by two Belgians: François Englert and Robert Brout. But Higgs, who came in later, got his name attached to it, simply because he speaks English and didn't write his papers in French.

-the idea of the Big Bang. First formulated by Belgian Jesuit-cum-physicist Georges Lemaître. But because Lemaître thought Einstein was a bit of a dummy, he never got due recognition.

-the World Wide Web: invented by Belgian CERN scientist Robert Caillau, but the British media never mention that and pushed Tim Berners-Lee instead.

-Belgians put the first man on the Moon, long before Von Braun did so. We put Tin Tin on the Moon in 1953.

-French fries, beer and waffles. These cosmologically relevant substances were invented by equally creative Belgians.

So the idea is simple: with the world's greatest physicists being from Belgium, and with such great food and beer, we can easily lock up these geniuses into a room and only liberate them once they have created a parallel universe.

All Belgians will then decide to leave this frustrating earthly world, and go live in that beautiful new spatio-temporal dimension.

But obviously, we must tackle the root of our frustration - which is lack of recognition of our scientific genius - so we will occasionally invite earthlings to visit us. We will then be the hegemon, and they will cheer.

Each visitor will receive free beer, fries and waffles.

The internets and wikipedias in this Parallel Universe for Frustrated Belgians Like Myself, will contain all the correct information about the inventions of the world.

django, Sep 10 2008

Something like this ? Pretend_20everythin..._20someone_20French
[FlyingToaster, Sep 10 2008]

The Belgians http://www.youtube....watch?v=ty7qO_RCnWA
The Belgians [zen_tom, Sep 11 2008]

Django, brilliant! http://www.youtube....watch?v=AEzsPGHsi90
Swing baby, swing!! ... and all this with four fingers only.... Belgium invented four-finger amputee guitar-playing gipsy-jazz genius!!! [django, Sep 19 2008]

I can't believe all your dirty language! http://en.wikipedia...um_(disambiguation)
a fictional curse word in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. "B*****m" is the rudest word in the universe, which is "completely banned in all parts of the Galaxy, except in one part, where they don't know what it means, and in serious screenplays." [discontinuuity, Sep 21 2008]


       Not sure about the others, but I sort of think the ancient Sumerians might have a slightly earlier claim on beer.
MechE, Sep 10 2008

       I hate to point this out, but wikipedia tells us that:   

       "in August 1830 ... the Belgian Revolution broke out, and the country wrested its independence from the Dutch, aided by French intellectuals and French armed forces."   

       ... so Belgium was effectively invented by the French, n'est ce pas?
wagster, Sep 10 2008

       I think it more likely that the root of your genius is the lack of recognition of your genius and consequent Belgium-sized chip on your communal shoulder. A sort of countrywide short man's syndrome.
bungston, Sep 10 2008

       Actually, Django, we didn't want to tell you, but you're *already* in a parallel universe. Haven't you ever wondered why we only contact you electronically?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 10 2008

       How many Alice books are there in your universe, [django]?
nineteenthly, Sep 10 2008

       Would this be a Walloon or Flanderian universe?
mylodon, Sep 11 2008

       Maybe every country would be divided along those lines.
nineteenthly, Sep 11 2008

       //All Belgians will then decide to leave this frustrating earthly world//   

       Great! In the meantime, thanks for all the beer.
Ling, Sep 11 2008

       I think we must have entered a parallel universe yesterday when the LHC was switched on.
The proof of this is that in the new universe the England football team won a match, something that could never have happened in the old one.

[EDIT] //consequent Belgium-sized chip on your communal shoulder//
No doubt with mayonnaise on it.
coprocephalous, Sep 11 2008

       The genius of this is the Belgians will think it was their idea to leave.
borisbarp, Sep 11 2008

       Will they take tintin with them?
neelandan, Sep 11 2008

       Hmph! Soon you'll be claiming Hercule Poirot is Belgian.
hippo, Sep 11 2008

       Not necessarily - we could replace Belgium with a franchise of somewhere else - such as Japan. It would be fantastic to be able to take a cross-channel ferry for a day-trip to Japan.
hippo, Sep 11 2008

       Agh, we are so above all the eartlhy comments posted here.   

       All your base are belong to Belgium.
django, Sep 11 2008

       Oh and by the way, I forgot Belgian chocolates, the European Union, NATO and chaos theory.   

       There's a clear relationship between these Belgian inventions.
django, Sep 11 2008

       Is this displaced anger over the lack of national unity in Belgium? Doesn't the Belgian media and school system teach the bold and wonderful history of the great nation of Walloonia/Flanders. I mean if the eastern united states decided to advertise itself as "America's Better Half" in the Economist i think it would inspire some protest. I think that Belgium is actually over represented in the language. Name a famous person (non explorer) or product from Portugal. They had colonies all over the world. Belgian branded food is all over the world and as you said Belgian scientists are widely recognized inside the scientific community. You already seem to live in an alternate universe. :)
WcW, Sep 11 2008

       //Name a famous person (non explorer) or product from Portugal.//   

MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2008

       //Name a famous person (non explorer) or product from Portugal.//   


       I feel the Portuguese need some solidarity from us.   


       And Ronaldo.
django, Sep 11 2008

       Ok Port i give you. Anything else in wide usage? There is no Portuguese kiss, no Port toast, no Portuguese cheeses, no Portuguese chocolate. The best i can come up with for American products is American Cheese.
WcW, Sep 11 2008

       //The best i can come up with for American products is American Cheese// Hmmm, I'd say Edison's electric grid is better than cheese. Oh and the PC I am typing on was also invented here.
MisterQED, Sep 12 2008

       Guys, common, this is about a parallel universe for Belgians. Not for Americans or Portuguese or Portuguese-Americans.   

       Once we're there, we might ask our scientists to design one for you.   

       We would be charitable and donate it, provided you mention that you got it from the Belgians, okay?
django, Sep 12 2008

       sp. c'mon!
neelandan, Sep 12 2008

       Belgians are no more neglected than any other nation, in fact they already receive disproportionate representation through name branded foods. Every country has important individuals but the complaint here is a "credit where due" type. I don't feel that America can claim the electric grid or computers as national inventions any more than we can claim the nuclear weapon.
WcW, Sep 12 2008

       Well, I'm all for it, so long as admission is free, and you point out the blatantly obvious fact that Belgians developed sex with hotties.
ye_river_xiv, Sep 12 2008

       Nationalistic pride was invented in the Belgian Congo.
r_kreher, Sep 13 2008

       By someone named Chauvin, who purportedly was half-Belgian.
jurist, Sep 13 2008

       Belgium - an anagram of: I be glum. Perfect.
xenzag, Sep 13 2008

       Nationalism was invented by a Belgian called Chauvin.   

       The United Nations, aimed at taming nationalism, were invented by Roosevelt, whose ancestors were Belgian rose gardeners. ("Roose"-"velt" - field of roses).   

       So we both invented it and its anti-dote. We are creative. We will neet matter and anti-matter for our parallel universe. And we will find it by discovering the Englert-Brout boson.
django, Sep 13 2008

       // 99.9999999% dark cocoa mass //   

       Oooooh..... can we have that deep-fried, in a paper cone, with a big dollop of mayonnaise on top ?
8th of 7, Sep 15 2008

MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 15 2008

       Belgian chocolate is, by far, the best in the world.
Voice, Sep 15 2008

       //Belgian chocolate is, by far, the best in the world.//   

       I agree.   

       And since there is only one Higgs boson in the world, it is by far the most Belgian at that.
django, Sep 15 2008

       Lol, UnaBubba, sometimes you have such humors!
django, Sep 16 2008

       //the Higgs boson was in fact first discovered by two Belgians: François Englert and Robert Brout.//

'fraid not, django. The Higgs Boson was invented but has not yet been discovered, rather like Belgium itself really. You'd better cross all of the appropriate extremeties and pray that the guys at the LHC manage to come up with the goods otherwise Belgium, in a Douglas Adams-like puff of logic, will vanish from this reality.
DrBob, Sep 16 2008

       sp: four Belgians: François Englert and Robert Brout, Davide Humpér and Earnest Dink.   

       Hence the true name of the theorized particle is actually EnglertBroutHumpérDink's Boson
Jinbish, Sep 16 2008

DrBob, Sep 16 2008

       But DrBob, name me one other nation whose scientists invent something the existence of which still has to be proved, but, which, in case it is found, will reveal the entire workings of the cosmos.   

       Logically speaking, those who invented the 'God Particle' are God themselves.   

       I'm happy to learn that God is Belgian. Who would have thought that!   

       Of all the peoples on the planet, amongst all the diversity, God the Almighty Himself voluntarily chose to be Belgian.   

       I think it's quite a feat.   

       But then, considering the Godly delights that can be found in Belgium, it is only logical for Him to have chosen Us. Or for us to decide that if We invent him, he should at least resemble Us.
django, Sep 16 2008

       //name me one other nation whose scientists invent something the existence of which still has to be proved, but, which, in case it is found, will reveal the entire workings of the cosmos//
Well, there's all those Creationists.
coprocephalous, Sep 16 2008

       //Well, there's all those Creationists.//   

       Fair enough, but creationists didn't succeed in collecting 12 billion euros to build a nifty machine aimed at proving their theory.   

       The only machine creationists have ever succeeded in making is a papier maché machine, which they use to make shabby replicas of 3,000 year old dinosaurs which they expose in funny museums.   

       God only works with serious people. Who use computers and huge loads of concrete and magnets to calculate things.
django, Sep 16 2008

       ////Well, there's all those Creationists.//

And every crackpot scientist ever born...and halfbakers, of course.
DrBob, Sep 16 2008

       // every crackpot scientist ever born //   

       What about the ones that were cloned, in a glass tank ? Or were hatched ?
8th of 7, Sep 16 2008

       Bun for the title. Who cars about the content of the idea?
shapu, Sep 17 2008

       can I supply weight loss products in this new world. sounds like you will be needing them.
williamsmatt, Sep 18 2008

       Even your namesake, Django, is Belgian. Of course, jazz, which occupies the apex of human invention, came from the African-Americans.
luxlucet, Sep 18 2008

       [luxlucet] true, we didn't invent jazz, we only invented perfected jazz. Django Rheinhardt, the father of perfection! Mad gipsy-jazz is just unbeatable!! [link]
django, Sep 19 2008

       The LHC may be dead, but that doesn't mean the Englert-Brout boson doesn't exist.
django, Sep 21 2008


       Two islands, Shirley?   

pertinax, Sep 21 2008

       Speaking from experience*, unfortunately, New Zealand is at the opposite end of the culinary spectrum from Belgium.   

       In fact I can't see a single similarity, beyond small, passive and cute. Belgium has the glory and magnificent buildings of the E.U., complete with the stench and puddles of piss and wasted homeless, whilst New Zealand has shitty cinderblock homes and only three or four homeless in the country. Plus the Kiwi homeless are polite, and don't piss; instead they sing and juggle. It's a little give and take, really.   

       *do not eat the cheese. It may be nicely wrapped in foil, but it is just rotten milk.
mylodon, Sep 22 2008

       Don't the French do that with crepes?
mylodon, Sep 23 2008

       Very likely, the French are full of it ....... oh, 'crepes', the little pancake things ....
8th of 7, Sep 23 2008

       I don't want to live in a world without the word Flemish. Phlegmish? Whatevs.   

       I thought Al Gore invented the Internet? No? Well, his BS-PR campaign is better than Belgium's.
elhigh, Sep 23 2008

       Not *another* thing better than Belgium?...
Jinbish, Sep 23 2008

       It's true. I heard a Belchan invented mirror reflections that are opposite of the non-reflective type. Also, bladeless jack knives without handles were a Belchan decipherment. Belchans also invented creamy peanut butter when they picked all the bits out of the crunchy kind. I think we may be speaking of the same folks who developed bitter hard Marshmallows as a universal opposition to the sweet-soft kind.   

       Those Belchans are truly remarkable.
Blisterbob, Sep 23 2008

gnomethang, Sep 24 2008


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