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Grammar Police

To Educate and to Serve.
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The Grammar Police (GP) work undercover in public places such as malls and movie theaters. They do nothing to draw attention to themselves, but casually eavesdrop until they overhear someone butchering our fine language. Upon observation of an offense, they blow a whistle and do everything they can to draw public attention as hidden officers produce a large whiteboard and force the victim -er- *criminal* to diagram their sentence.

...perhaps there should be civilian officers as well...

utexaspunk, Apr 17 2002

Inspired by Guerrilla Pedants http://www.halfbake...Guerrilla_20Pedants
[utexaspunk, Apr 17 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Grammar Police. http://www.brockton.../comed/Pc180003.jpg
I'm not bailing her out next time. [Amos Kito, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       No! Not diagramming sentences! That's cruel and unusual punishment!
RayfordSteele, Apr 17 2002

       Overheard at the mall just up the street from the halfbakery: "Yeah. I'm like all goin' dude this idea's all cool and stuff and I'm all like sign me up and stuff."
half, Apr 17 2002

       po will be a high ranking officer in the new force. will there be people patrolling all languages? my French and Spanish grammar are exponentialy worse than my English.
rbl, Apr 17 2002

       WHAT fine language?
neelandan, Apr 17 2002

       sorry count me out, rbl. don't quite know where this reputation came from - the opposite is more the truth.
po, Apr 17 2002

       I'd be in prison . . . just on the ellipses violations alone.
bristolz, Apr 17 2002

       Psst - I'm undercover.
thumbwax, Apr 17 2002

       Punishment - being called a Dutchman (Not that I have anything against them).
neelandan, Apr 17 2002

       Beg to differ, monkeyboy. Language is entangled with culture. If the present social and cultural setup were to change, a lot of words will become redundant. And a whole lot of new words will appear.
neelandan, Apr 17 2002

       as they do. is that good grammar?
po, Apr 17 2002

       clodpates should have no say-so in the demise of proper communication.
thumbwax, Apr 17 2002

       am lackadaisy about the whole thing, thumb.
po, Apr 17 2002

       Well have a daisy then [po]. Now you're not lacking.
phoenix, Apr 17 2002

       // ...casually eavesdrop until they overhear someone butchering our fine language. Upon observation of an offense... //   

       Eavesdrop, overhear... then observation? Which is it, man?
waugsqueke, Apr 17 2002

       utexaspunk, are you suggesting that I *need* help doing *my* job?
El Pedanto, Apr 17 2002

       And which grammar rulebook will these grammar police use? Will we have to adhere to open or closed syntax when considering comma usage, for example? What about the sophists and stylisticians? Will the Linguistics Gestapo work in corraboration with the Grammar Police? Won't the police start racial profiling and go after non-native speakers?
1kester, Apr 17 2002

       Just write Bakish and you'll be fine.
bristolz, Apr 17 2002

       Heck, I'm already a part of the Grammar Police. We've established a comfortable setting for ourselves in my school. I'm a radical, and think we should remove the voice boxes of repeat offendors. Ugh, all of those split Participals and Sentences ending in prepositions... ... I don't like them one bit. Syntax Camps should also be set up.
Opium-Poppy, Jan 04 2003

       It appears a citizen's arrest would be in order.
lurch, Jan 04 2003

       You'd go down for saying theaters instead of theatres. I can be as pedantic as I like, since your 'American language' is bastardised English.
Lula, Jun 15 2003

       American is American.
bristolz, Jun 15 2003

       I was led to believe that "American" was deemed to be "American English" as the language spoken, given they bastardised the language to the point it could no longer be called "English".   

       I suppose it could just be another of those "Freedom Fries" incidents, however.
Freelancer, Jun 16 2003

       How is saying "theatre" different from saying "theater"? Have I been saying it/them wrong? Oh dear...
BayRatt, Jun 16 2003

       //'American language' is bastardised English//   

       Languages evolve. American English and UK English both have their roots in 16th century UK English but have taken different directions since then. Pedantry hit UK English a bit before American English in terms of spellings, etc. But a lot of nonsensical spellings nowadays indicate that pronunciation has also changed over time, viz. the number of Shakespearean rhymes that don't.   

       Shirley the whole point of written communication is that other people can understand you. Rules are there to aid understanding, but slavish adherence to the rules actually prevents understanding, viz legal English, and probably this annotation.
PeterSilly, Jun 16 2003

       //pronounciation has also changed over time//   

       Petersilly, I believe you mean pronunciation.   

Lula, Jun 20 2003

       That's what I said!
PeterSilly, Jun 20 2003

       its your accent, silly :)
po, Jun 20 2003

       For anyone interested, "Made In America" by the venerable Bill Bryson is an excellent read, and gives many fascinating insights into the development of "American English," amongst a wealth of other Stateside topics.   

       Bun for the idea anyway.
saker, Jun 20 2003

       Please do not tase me, my figurative brother.
Laughs Last, Jan 07 2009


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