Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Trying to contain nuts.

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Periodic table of the HalfBakers

Class(ifying) matter
  (+22, -3)(+22, -3)
(+22, -3)
  [vote for,

Arrange all the Halfbakers into a big table, according to properties and behavioural patterns.
Define and position your symbol.

The further down a group, the more strongly the description relates

Bakers further left tend to be more violent and opinionated, bakers further right generally more objective

Group 1: Bakers often react violently to controversial ideas or criticism

Transition Bakers: Mostly newbies, transition bakers haven't yet firmly established themselves on the 'bakery. Position (left - right) indicates any current leanings

Group 7: Bakers have the power to displace lesser bakers. Most moderators

Group 0: Noble bakers. Intelligent bakers often take neutral standpoint, offering advice and help. Rarely violent

Lanthanoids & Actinoids: Bakers that don't really fit in anywhere in particular but have leanings towards certain groups & positions

NickTheGreat, Aug 16 2002

Webelements http://www.webelements.com
Choose your element [NickTheGreat, Aug 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Strontium/Strontian http://www.curriehj....co.uk/strontia.htm
The West Highland Connection. [calum, Aug 18 2002]

Tellurium for TeaTotal http://mineral.gall...lluriu/telluriu.htm
unless she dislikes garlic [po, Aug 18 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Have a look round here http://www.rsc.org/periodic-table
[angel, Aug 19 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Governmentium http://www.vlrc.org/articles/28.html
I put the 'mentium' in governing. [pathetic, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Strontium Dog http://www.strontiu...er.co.uk/chars.html
For my face your. Not really relevant but it just jogged some pleasant memories. [DrBob, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

The *Real* Periodic Table http://www.bbc.co.u...ies1/periodic.shtml
courtesy of 'Look around You' [gnomethang, Jan 08 2006]


       I think I'll have to take good ol' technetium (Tc) Unfortunately, that falls into Group 7..
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002

       The symbol has to be Ps2. Definitely on the right-hand side towards the bottom (strongly objective), and I'll kill anyone who disagrees.
PeterSilly, Aug 16 2002

       PB for me. I'm soft and dense.
phoenix, Aug 16 2002

       No 84, metal and completely boring.
po, Aug 16 2002

       [p] and you are easily led
po, Aug 16 2002

       po - you mean 'bohring', yes?   

       Next week, already?
waugsqueke, Aug 16 2002

       yes waugs, and I am fairly stable.
po, Aug 16 2002

       Hangs to the left
Wx = Waxium
Ct = Croissant
thumbwax, Aug 16 2002

       Element 87 - Francium. Group 1. Alkali metal, reacts violently - and radioactive to boot. A real hard electron donor and major-league reducing agent ...   

       Yup, that's us ... but Francium ? We can't stand the French .... can we call it Borgium ?   

       Slightly fizzy, glowing croissant.
8th of 7, Aug 16 2002

       8th of 7, that does not make you 87. rather you are 8th row on column 7 or 7th row on column 8 which are both rare earths. not a bad thing to be, soft and malleable.
po, Aug 16 2002

       Well, I must be element 21, Scandium, a transition metal. The oxide is a weak base but with a melting point of K 1812, bonding radius of A 1.44 and a boiling point of K 3104, that makes me pretty hot to trot and under the collar.
FarmerJohn, Aug 16 2002

       I spy a Lewes connection in that link Nicky boy. Spookier and spookier!
DrBob, Aug 16 2002

       Can I be a compound?
beauxeault, Aug 16 2002

       How about a laughing gas?
FarmerJohn, Aug 16 2002

       N2O left under a cloud I am afraid
po, Aug 16 2002

       Where the hell do I go?
( I never was any good at chemistry )
kaz, Aug 17 2002

       Gotta be Fe. Main component to Steel. Been in a million different jobs, and moldable if well-heated, but often cold and hard. A wanna-be magnet, and always losing track of its electrons.
RayfordSteele, Aug 17 2002

       Can I be magnesium? It glows when you flame it and gives you the puns, I mean runs, to boot.
polartomato, Aug 17 2002

       [kaz] the best place for you is Potassium. (K comes in at 19) - soft, silvery-white, gets a little silly in the water.
po, Aug 17 2002

       W - tungsten... I light up the room.
waugsqueke, Aug 17 2002

       UB I knew you had been around for a while but not *that* long.
po, Aug 17 2002

       half-thank you, my half-dear. what is the half-life of a halfbaker, I half-wonder.
po, Aug 17 2002

       A quarterbaker, of course
thumbwax, Aug 17 2002

       Darn it. I haven't been discovered yet.
dag, Aug 18 2002

       Strontium, from the West Highlands. Second group, three from the bottom. The symbol is Sr, so it may be more appropriate for salachair.
calum, Aug 18 2002

       I'm afraid I'm a compound.
watermelancholy, Aug 18 2002

       I'll be #39, Y (for Yttrium). Why? Just because.
TeaTotal, Aug 18 2002

       link. strange girl, Te was made for you..
po, Aug 18 2002

       I'm definitely Molybdenum which appropriately enough has the atomic number 42. I'm a silvery-white, hard, transition metal apparently.
madradish, Aug 18 2002

       Excellent, [Nick]!
angel, Aug 19 2002

       I would like to be number 73, tantalum, because it sounds like it keeps you guessing.
sappho, Aug 19 2002

       I'd really like to be Angelium, but, to date, it hasn't been discarvard. I could be silver (Ag) but that's a bit pretentious. I think I'll be Tin (soft and pliable, but not much use), partly because of the tin mines in Cornwall.
angel, Aug 19 2002

       No, because then I'd be aluminium (symbol Al).
angel, Aug 19 2002

       Aaarg.. covert Tom Lehrer quote... Must.. resist.. urge.. to post.. entire.. song's.. lyrics..
yamahito, Aug 19 2002

       nice link, angel.
po, Aug 19 2002

       I wanna be the big O. (You know why.)
XSarenkaX, Aug 19 2002

       XSX, You're explosively combustible?
You like hanging out with a copy of yourself?
You're mouth often forms that shape in disbelief at our sillyness?
You and a friend like to steal electrons from unsuspecting carbon atoms?
You like rust?
RayfordSteele, Aug 19 2002

       "(You know why.)"   

       Well then I'm S, because that's what makes the big O SO.
beauxeault, Aug 19 2002

       But S can bond with multiple O's simultaneously ... <snigger> dative covalent bonding - electron pair donor ... </snigger>
8th of 7, Aug 19 2002


bling. bling.
iuvare, Aug 19 2002

       Hg is right for me, probably . . .
bristolz, Aug 19 2002

       quicksilver... hmmm... reflective, poisonous, useful for gaging the temperature, and makes for great shape-shifting special effects; yeah I can see that match-up.
But then there's that high density factor to mess it all up. <aside>Do you find it odd that 'air-headed' is synonymous with 'dense?'</aside>
RayfordSteele, Aug 19 2002

       Well, I don't know about the shape-shifting part but the rest sounds right.
bristolz, Aug 19 2002

       Why hasn't [Helium] posted to this one yet, I wonder? I get to be Sillycon.
BigBrother, Aug 19 2002

       Hi, [bz], how's ya doin'?
angel, Aug 20 2002

       I'm doing good!
bristolz, Aug 20 2002

       Damn! I was gonna bagsie Mercury. Surprisingly heavy and OK in small doses.
DrBob, Aug 20 2002

       ...but ultimately resulting in dementia?
angel, Aug 20 2002

DrBob, Aug 20 2002

       Hi. I'm Californium - an excellent source of neutrons, you know - they don't call me Cf for nuthin' (?)
*ahem* Po is Polonium
thumbwax, Aug 20 2002

       thumb, I thought I had already claimed no 84?
po, Aug 20 2002

       i'm carbon - i have many uses, i can appear in many different forms, i bond easily with others, and sometimes i really shine. :o)   

       i'm surprised that nobody has chosen hf ---> hafnium.
mihali, Aug 20 2002

       I'm going to make up R to wind up chemists by being confused with a carbon chain... what do you mean there are rules about that sort of thing?
RobertKidney, Aug 20 2002

       [UnaBubba]: [bristolz] has a flaky crust?
angel, Aug 20 2002

       Robert, you could always take Kr, krypton. 'Fraid it isn't very exciting, unless you run a charge through it, or if you happen to be Superman.
RayfordSteele, Aug 20 2002

       "Oxygen in excited states is responsible for the bright red and yellow-green colours of the aurora."   

       Wow, who knew I could emit colors while excited?
XSarenkaX, Aug 20 2002

       But he never said anything. See my comments in the appropriate environment re: cannons and jousting. With oxygen being so combustible, though, I don't know if I really should.
XSarenkaX, Aug 20 2002

       Is oxygen combustible?   

       [angel]: I AM a flaky crust.
bristolz, Aug 20 2002

       it supports combustion - sounds like a bra.
po, Aug 20 2002

       Are we suppose to make up elements or associate ourselves with existing ones?
barnzenen, Aug 20 2002

       [bz]: Better than being a crusty flake.
angel, Aug 21 2002

       Po - you described No. 84 as completely boring - since that doesn't describe Polonium *at all* - nor explain your bluish glow - I think you ought to read your biography.
thumbwax, Aug 21 2002

po, Aug 21 2002

       Barnzenen: you can make up your own if you're feeling creative; otherwise just associate yourself (yes, you can be a compound... but it's not so easy).
I was under the impression Po was the red teletubby - wouldn't tinky-winky have a bluish glow?
Oh, and I'm having Nickel (Ni), for obvious reasons. Only qualm is the transition position, implying newbiness. Could be Nitrogen (N), I suppose. Better location if nothing else.
NickTheGreat, Aug 21 2002

       Or maybe Neon ? Equally lightweight, colourless, odourless, usefull only for producing tacky advertising .... but Noble, none the less.
8th of 7, Aug 21 2002

       Alright, I'll be Berylium [Be]. I resist corruption (oxidation) at normal temps and with a little help from some friends I can cause some real damage, if need be. I am generally available and easy to get to. I can't really find anything else that sounds like me...but I thought I would be more to the right. I don't know, what do yall think?
barnzenen, Aug 21 2002

       <bathed in a sinister blue glow> (TinkyWinky is purple) apparently Po is used as heat source for spaceships - I keep spacemen warm, hey thats nice. </bathed in a sinister blue glow>
po, Aug 21 2002

       Guess I'm out there somwhere in the transuranides. There are a couple of people here we could assign to Holmium, and a couple more to Bismuth, but that wouldn't be very nice.
DrCurry, Aug 21 2002

       [ravenswood], according to Oliver Sacks in his book "Uncle Tungsten" (a great read btw), a xenon-filled balloon is about as close to a lead balloon as one can get.
bristolz, Aug 21 2002


       atomic number 40, which by a feat of serendipity renders me a transition baker. Excellent. Have a french cultral food product for setting this up for me!   

       (also it's good because, like, transuranic heavy elements may not be used where there is life.)   

       Zirconium is a getter in vacuum tubes, amongst *many* other things.
Zircon, Aug 22 2002

       That purpose alone warrants my thanks for its existence, I being the tube nut that I am.
angel, Aug 22 2002

       W for tungsten is mine.
BinaryCookies, Aug 23 2002

       ummm, bc, see waugsqueke's second annotation.
mihali, Aug 23 2002

       "Charlie was a chemist
But Charlie is no more
What Charlie thought was H20
Was H2S04."

       <Been wanting to use that somewhere since I saw your username, and this seems perfect.>   

       Tigranium, Symbol SC: Under some circumstances, scintillates brilliantly, usually a mix of black and white. Reacts violently to Trollium.
StarChaser, Sep 07 2002

       Hmm, so if my cat got on here and posted nasty remarks to you [SC}, would he be considered petrollium? That would be a gas.
bristolz, Sep 07 2002

       Such a joke. I thought you were more refined than that...
StarChaser, Sep 11 2002

       Well, shows you what you get for thinking.
bristolz, Sep 11 2002

       Lithium (Li) for me – for buoyancy if nothing else. Not to mention my childhood attempt at making Au from Li – a tad too radioactive.
Shz, Mar 04 2003

       Erbium (Er), a rare earth element, seems about right for me. Soft and malleable, yet bright and fairly stable. Of course, my properties depend on impurities found.
Worldgineer, Mar 04 2003

       Can I play?
Pericles, Mar 04 2003


       I don't mean to be negative, I'm just saying you could be nobelium (No). It's as good as any - or choose your own.
Worldgineer, Mar 04 2003

       I'd shirly like to be Dubnium. I like the way it sounds. And is somewhat appropriate: useless, and pretty much nothing is known about it since it doesn't occur in nature (I'm fairly sure I was created by some industrial accident).
notme, Mar 06 2003

       does this table have a ridiculous layout that 'proves' that a certain baker can be destroyed by another due to his/her position on the table (a la Evolution)? god damn, i hate that stupid movie.
sambwiches, Mar 06 2003

       No, but you really wouldn't want to use shampoo on most of them.
DrCurry, Mar 06 2003

       Wouldn't *need* to use it on some of them.
angel, Mar 06 2003

       I'd like to claim HB element 'Jb' = Inebrium.   

       Noted for
i)special compounds with alcohols of all sorts
ii) being very fizzy when mixed with the right company
iii) while normally very stable, can become volatile on a dance floor - especially in situations involving (iii) {and (i)}

       (Oh dear, reading that back it looks like a sad chemist's 'personal' ad)   

       {later: oops, it was meant to be i) but iii) adds to the instability}
Jinbish, Mar 06 2003

       Nice recursion on item (iii)
angel, Mar 06 2003

       <déjà vu> Strontium - the Ardnamurchan connection </déjà vu>
my face your, Mar 06 2003

sambwiches, Mar 06 2003

DrCurry, Mar 06 2003

       The buttered side.
FarmerJohn, Mar 07 2003

       Lanthanoid: skinsideupflapium, 59 through 61.
skinflaps, Jan 05 2006

Minimal, Jan 05 2006

       Instead of the numbers of electrons in the shells (2, 8, 8, 14, 5, 2) you could put that halfbaker's halfbakerism codes (n+++, e--, p+, G++) in each square.
phundug, Jan 05 2006

       I'll take Cesium and join the room-temperature liquid metallics.
csea, Jan 05 2006

       Cu! Cu! Cuchuu!
bungston, Jan 05 2006

       <gangster on> You'll never take us alive, Copper! </gangster off>
csea, Jan 05 2006

       Mercury. aka Quicksilver.
DesertFox, Jan 06 2006

       [Foxy], I am sorry, but you cannot have a big Hg. May I suggest Boron? Or Plumbumb?
bungston, Jan 06 2006

       Erbium is used for doping fiber optics amplifier loops, [World]. It's very clever.
bristolz, Jan 08 2006

       Why, thank you.
Worldgineer, Jan 08 2006

       Can I be nothing (Ng). See Link.
gnomethang, Jan 08 2006

       [notme] Can I be Dubnium, please? The Mass seems about right too.
Dub, Jan 08 2006

       I guess I would be Tritium, or Deuterium but maybe due to the way people want me gone I may be more of a plutonium 238 due to lethal levels of radiation.
travbm, Oct 30 2015

       Whatever your rudeness flavor is, you'll have a short half life.
normzone, Oct 30 2015

       //I guess I would be Tritium// No, you would be a piece of half chewed gum left by a teenage troll on the underside of the table itself.
xenzag, Oct 30 2015

       Gum is mostly a hydrocarbon. Hydrogen and carbon?
travbm, Oct 30 2015

xenzag, Oct 30 2015

       //people want me gone//   

       Aww, [trav], that's not true. We'd just prefer it if you had never been here, that's all.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 30 2015

       What ever happened to Timonium?
travbm, Oct 31 2015


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