Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Personal Retrorockets

Allows the clumsy to maintain their composure
  [vote for,

Gyroscopic devices located in the lower (shoes), mid (belt) and upper (tie tack, glasses) portions of the body are used to detect an impending fall. These devices notify your wallet which, using the combined processing power of the smartcards therein, causes strategically located retrorockets (in cufflinks, belt, etc) to fire - returning the subject to an upright position.

(09/20/01: Corrected spelling. Thanks [Jim]!)

phoenix, Sep 17 2001


       I have to admit I like the idea of you wallet providing computing power by being an array of smart cards.
Aristotle, Sep 17 2001

This could go in Product:Countermeasure, surely?
[phoenix] Delete this annotation once you've read it.
Jim, Sep 19 2001

       Perhaps this could help people escape high-rises (a favorite topic of mine of late)
arghblah, Sep 19 2001

       This brings new light to the dancing Tinman from Wizard of Oz.
barnzenen, Sep 20 2001

       To be honest, I like this idea because I want to see someone trip, start to fall, then - (whirrrrr) - pop back up again. It's really all about that whiring sound while the person pops back up. I don't know why.
phoenix, Sep 20 2001

       I considered fishboning this because I like to see people fall, but then I read phoenix's last annotation and chuckled. Way to save your idea!
AfroAssault, Sep 21 2001

       how would you know when the person was falling or bending over... imagine people trying to bend down to pick up a coin or pat a cat and then getting re-erected by those darn retro rockets   

       the smart cards would need to know where your centre of gravity was.   

       so if you had position sensors on your body and the smart card was calibrated to your stature and knew how to calculate your centre of gravity...   

       ... then you pick up a heavy box and lean back into it to stop from keeling over forwards. The retro rockets kick and try to push you forwards and before you know it you're stuck up against a box against the wall until they run out of fuel?
mmueller, Feb 14 2002

       hmm, maybe it could just detect when your foot tilts too forward.
wahwah, Mar 20 2002

       I love it when I'm compelled to bun a post just from reading the Title. Even more when the text lives up to it. [+]
FlyingToaster, Feb 24 2009


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