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Pet Paper (Cat Paper)

Environmentally friendly pest (pet) control
  (+8, -9)
(+8, -9)
  [vote for,

Like fly paper, but on a giant scale, Cat Paper consists of a large roll of strong, waxed paper or fabric covered in a mixture of waterproof contact adhesive and Catnip.

To use: drape the Cat Paper from a rotary clothes airer, wall bracket, or similar. Cats are attracted by the smell of catnip; when they leap up to get closer, they immediately become enmeshed in the sticky coils.

When the Cat Paper has a full load of cats, or the yowling gets too much, sinply unhook the Cat Paper complete with its payload and toss it in the nearest wheelie bin, pond, or river. Then hang up a fresh one. Soon, your garden will be cat-free. No more obnoxious heaps in the flower beds. No more excavated border plants. No more disembowelled sparrows on your patio.

No chemicals - no smells - biodegradeable (all-natural glue) - safe - cheap - convenient.

A larger chocolate-flavoured version for toddlers is in development.

ADDITION: By popular demand, this product will be actually marketed as "Pet Paper" - a general means of humanely trapping and removing unwanted stray pets from one's property. While originaly envisaged as a cat-control measure, it will be equally effective against dogs, pigeons, ferrets, hamsters, ducks and small children. The paper will be striped with different odours and flavours, each one of which will be tailored to lure a specific garden pest. It might even be adaptable for flies and wasps ....

8th of 7, Aug 14 2002

The Vegetable Alternative http://www.halfbake.../Venus_20Cat_20Trap
The Venus Cat Trap [8th of 7, Aug 14 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Pigeon-Proportioned Flypaper http://www.halfbake...ortioned_20Flypaper
Similar, yet different. [calum, Aug 14 2002]

BBC "Today" report http://www.bbc.co.u...e_nature/cats.shtml
The evil that cats do .... [8th of 7, Aug 15 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Cats *are* evil http://konstruktiv.net/kitty_02.swf
I never let it run long enough, but I think that's all it does.. [Mr Burns, Aug 15 2002]

One law for the rich ... http://www.bartleby.com/66/37/22937.html
From the works of Anatole France. [8th of 7, Aug 20 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       The only thing keeping me from boning this idea is the phrase "when the yowling gets too much." Besides, the smell of the fishbones will only lead more and more cats into your sinister trap.   

       But really, 8th, what have you got against the pootifactory that is Cat? This seems so very cruel.
polartomato, Aug 14 2002

       Polartomato: "No more obnoxious heaps in the flower beds. No more excavated border plants. No more disembowelled sparrows on your patio."   

       Need I say more ? Well, if you insist: Item, "Midnight yowling"; Item, "Paw prints on newly washed car"; Item, "Fleas"; Item, "Murdered songbirds".   

       The prosecution rests, your honour.
8th of 7, Aug 14 2002

       Or, of course, get a dog. And just put up with the midnight barking, paw prints, fleas and murdered cats.
DrCurry, Aug 14 2002

       DrCurry: I've got a dog. And he's hopeless. He doesn't seem to see cats, even when they are right in front of them. When he does, he potters up to them and sniffs them; no bared fangs, no barking (He hardly ever barks anyway, certainly not at midnight). He's curious rather than aggressive .....   

       Paw prints are not too much of a problem, and neither are fleas (except the ones he gets off the local cats); as to the heaps of cats with their throats torn out - I wish. Shoulda gotta Pit Bull .....
8th of 7, Aug 14 2002

       //No more disembowelled sparrows on your patio.//   

       There's a small nest in our backyard crab-apple tree and I happened to almost step on one of the four dead baby birds that I found almost directly underneath it.   

       I'm all for some kind of control, but a deterrent, rather than a trap, is in order here.
XSarenkaX, Aug 14 2002

       What are you doin' biting into what you think is candy in your yard anyway?
XSarenkaX, Aug 14 2002

       8th of 7; with all due respect, may I ask if you have browsed through ideas on this site which involve cats? If you did, you might find that pro-cat ideas are generally received positively, and anti-cat ideas do not garner much support. I really think you are fighting a losing battle by reinforcing your evangelistic felinophobia to halfbakers. It's not my business of course; I just think your talents might be better employed without getting into cat debates.

just out of interest, is there any correlation between cat/dog affinity and internettism?
sappho, Aug 14 2002

       8th, cats know you don't like them. And they remember.   

       This is just plain cruelty.
waugsqueke, Aug 14 2002

       Sappho: Evangelism is about right. Cats cause untold damage and murder millions of wild birds in the UK every year. The people wonder why there are no birds in their gardens; it's bcause their beloved kitty has killed the chicks. People should be compelled to keep their cats under control the same way dogs are kept under control. If I collect a wheelbarrow of fishbones on the way, well, at least I tell it like it is.   

       I think you get a mix of cat people and dog people as 'netters. And I might add that a lot of the "dog" ideas I have read - mostly to do with stopping dogs fouling public places - I wholeheartedly agree with.   

       Waugsqueke: I apologise. This is indeed plain, ordinary old-fashioned cruelty; nothing fancy or inventive, just ordinary brown paper with glue on it. I am ashamed. No lasers, no flamethrowers, no Genetic Modification or Bluetooth .... I promise I will go away and try to think up some "tuppence coloured" technocruelty for application to Felix Domesticus......
8th of 7, Aug 15 2002

       Most of the reduction in wild bird population in due to destruction of habitat and poisoning, either through the food chain or directly. Most of the prey of roaming domestic cats is frogs, common butterflies and, occasionally, voles, none of which is by any means endangered.
angel, Aug 15 2002


       Witness for the Persecution: "Chris Mead from the British Trust for Ornithology and one of the contributors to aTodaydebate heard this week on whether or not a‘cat cull’is needed writes: I am a cat lover BUT the carnage in our countryside of both birds and small mammals – at almost 300,000,000 deaths a year – is an insult to our conservation credentials. If we had real wild cats still stalking the whole of our countryside in Britain there would only be a few tens of thousands rather than the 9,000,000 moggies we now have. "   

       See link.
8th of 7, Aug 15 2002

       From your own link:
"the declines of our birds are not being driven by cat predation – habitat loss is much more important"
"However the biggest problem is not owned cats but the unseen hordes of feral cats"
There is no reason for domestic cats, particularly urban-living cats, to roam; my own cats never leave the house (Gomez is agarophobic, and becomes alarmed when he sees an open external door). I have always had my cats neutered; if this were more widespread, there would be fewer feral cats.
angel, Aug 15 2002

       Angel: You are truly a model cat owner. Would that they were all like you. I have no argument with cats that remain discreetly within the confines of their owners property (which begs the question, "Who owns who ?").   

       But "feral" cats are the end result of irresponsible cat owners. Pray tell, how does one determine that the disembowelled sparrow, excavated flower bed, or steaming turd, is the product of a feral cat or an owned cat ? We await with bated breath (and baited traps) your suggestions on how to reduce the feral cat population by a humane method (i.e no fissile material permitted).
8th of 7, Aug 15 2002

       // I'm sorry, but you don't. You just don't like small creatures //   

       I like some but not others.   

       // You have a problem with toddlers, too //   

       Mainly the noise and the mess.   

       // Apparently you were never young //   

       For many reasons I have apparently had the wold view of a 45-year-old since I was about 3. On my planet, things are very different.   

       // do you simply resent toddlers' ability to rapidly learn things your ossified mind can't accept? //   

       I learn thing surprisingly rapidly ..... I don't resent their ability to learn.   

       //Perhaps you hate cats because they refuse to be impressed by your braggadocio //   

       Dog owners who allow their pets to foul the streets are (rightly) subject to public opprobium, and prosecution. Cat owners who allow their pets to foul other people's property - rather than public spaces - are largely ignored. "One law for the rich and another for the poor" ? Discuss.   

       /A pox on you sir, and all of your extended family. You are a mean-spirited bag of air //   

       I admire your grasp of Shakesperian invective; it is a pleasure to read your vituperative fulminations. Since my extended family tend to flee at mere rumours of my approach, contamination with the Pox is unlikely; and while I am indeed mean-spirited, I regret that I am no bag of air; a bag of lard would be a more apt appelation....
8th of 7, Aug 15 2002

       Dog owners who allow their pets to foul other people's private property are not subject to the law which (claims to) punish those who permit fouling of public spaces. Where does rich / poor come in?
As has been suggested, there are many products which will keep your garden free of cats, should you so choose. Finally, cats cannot be "owned", as the law (in UK) regards them as wild.
angel, Aug 15 2002

       8th: I added the [link] above just for you...
Mr Burns, Aug 15 2002

       Angel: Then the law is inadequate and should allow redress for those whose property is invaded. The "One law" quote comes from Benjamin Disraeli, I believe.   

       thcgenius: Thanx for the link.   

       Unabubba: Am I a Grubby Bully too ? I'd like to be thought of as a Grubby Bully .....
8th of 7, Aug 15 2002

       8th: I don't think it's Disraeli, but regardless of where the quote comes from, I was wondering about its relevance.
angel, Aug 16 2002

       The opportunity still exists to convert this idea to a newspaper for cats.   

       The Daily Meow: top stories ("Arafat's shorthair trapped in Ramadan complex"), advice columns ("Dear Abby-sinian"), fact features ("MouseWatch")... and the entertainment section would be a full two pages wide, totally blank except for a single small black dot.
waugsqueke, Aug 16 2002

       You can fool 1/8 of the catpeople 1/8 of the time, you can even fool 7/8 of the catpeople 7/8 of the time, but you can't fool 8/8 of the catpeople 8/8 of the time.
thumbwax, Aug 16 2002

       Angel: As I recall it, the quote reads, "One law for the rich, and another for the poor, which prohibiteth them equally from taking bread and sleeping under railway bridges". The point being that you don't need to prohibit rich people from doing it, beacuse they don't do it anyway - and the poor have no option.   

       Likewise, a law against cats fouling the footpath is pointless, because they (seemingly) all come from miles around (possibly in buses) to crap in my flower beds.   

       I do not allow my dog to go into my neighbour's garden and deposit small steaming heaps of dung - I have efficient fencing, which I maintain. If my dog does make a mess in a public place, I carry with me the means to remove said mess and dispose of it hygenically (this has only happened once, when he was a small puppy). I do not allow my dog to roam freely and despoil the property of others. All I ask is that cat owners should do the same. Is that unreasonable ?
8th of 7, Aug 16 2002

       OK, so you, and some others, do what all dog-owners should do; I, and some others, do what all cat-keepers should do. What's the beef? This idea could equally be translated to "Dog paper", or "[insert least favourite pest] paper". It's a rant, basically, and an excuse further to expound your dislike of cats. Get over it.
angel, Aug 16 2002

       It's only fair to point out there is a serious flaw - the Pigeons. Without El Gato, the Pigeon population would explode.
thumbwax, Aug 16 2002

       Angel: I am persuaded. I hereby re-christen this product "Pet Paper". Satisfied ?   

       UnaBubba: You haven't accused me of being intolerant ... am I a Grubby Bully yet ? Please, UnaBubba, let me be a Grubby Bully ....   

       Thumbwax: "Exploding Pigeons" ... < leans back in chair, staring into distance with big grin on face>
8th of 7, Aug 16 2002

       The pigeon population seems to explode daily, usually over my parked car..
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002

       If any of the cats in your neighborhood are at all like some of the ones in mine, all that would happen is the cats would stick to the paper, then fall off with large clumps of loose fur (such as that which trails behind them as they walk) stuck to the paper, and the cats free to continue crapping in my yard.
Bert6322, Aug 16 2002

       I eventually nailed down the quote (from Anatole France) with some difficulty - beacuse it's a translation from the French and appears in several different forms. See link.
8th of 7, Aug 20 2002


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