Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Wet Food Pussy Feeder

For the picky eater "down there" (specificaly: on the floor)
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Do you vacation? Does a cat live in your house? Do you dread what would happen to your house if this cat failed to receive the moistest most tempting feline sustenance. Exotic and precise makes and flavors which it will eat and like some sort of specific congealed feline ambrosia and that it will never allow anything else into its fetid maw? So much so that you must buy a variety pack containing four other flavors non of which your feline "companion" will consider eating and that you must throw away? You badly need the food dispenser that I have just now designed. At the heart of the device is a bladder of substantial volume with an opening of the exact dimension of a conventional cat food tin. If your feline "overlord" eats a food found in a non traditional type of container a feed chute may be used. Once the unit is fulled with an adequate quantity of the necessitated sustenance as determined using the charts provided the excess gas is purged from the bladder and tightly sealed. At the other end of the bladder is a small threaded nipple which is now uncapped and threaded onto the mechanical sphincter device that regulates the flow of liquefied filth that we are forced to call "food". The bladder rests in a cylinder (careful, avoid kinks and folds that might come to restrict flow) and to complete the process of loading a weighted lid is slid down into the cylinder to rest atop the food bladder. The action of the flow regulating sphincter is controlled by a timer and the volume dispensed is finely adjusted to completely fill the normal container mounted in the body of the unit below the bladder. The fine tuning part of the process occurs in the days leading up to your furtive break from the daily obligation of feeding your cat. When you leave you can rest in the comforting knowledge that your "pet" is receiving the diet that will prevent dreadful consequences. Delivers up to three liters of semi-viscous semi-solids, enough for a one week vacation.

As the popularity of this device grows the manufacturers may make available to the public pre-filled bladders of you feline's favorite bio hazard materials so you may use the dispenser on an convenient contentious basis, possibly moving it gradually further and further from your abode.

WcW, Feb 11 2010

The inspiration for this fine idea. http://www.catgenie.com/
It's a cat toilet. Freaking cat owns your home. [WcW, Feb 11 2010]

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       This all sounded wrong to me, a whole different direction. I was headed in. Am I alone?
blissmiss, Feb 11 2010
  

       your post is all stuck together.   

       The idea of putting catfood in baggies as opposed to cans sounds interesting.
FlyingToaster, Feb 11 2010
  

       poor pussy - left on its own for a week.
po, Feb 11 2010
  

       Are there any precedents for cat-triggered feeding devices where the cat figures out that if it presses a button, it gets some food - I know cats are not known for their intelligence, but you'd think they can figure out something like that.
zen_tom, Feb 11 2010
  

       [bliss] you are never alone here!! xoxoxo
xandram, Feb 11 2010
  

       + for the name W wow   

       - for how disapointed i was that this was not an automated device for for jamming food into female private parts   

       i would have an easier time understanding food fetishists if there was a universe of of special tools for application you know in excess of hum drum kitchen utencils   

       sorry about spelling on phone
vfrackis, Feb 11 2010
  

       // Cats in heavily-weighted baggies destined for rivers would be more interesting. //   

       Indeed.
8th of 7, Feb 11 2010
  
      
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