Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Phony Fishing

Give fish a means to catch people
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

Fishing folks no longer fish for food, instead they fish for "sport." Sport, in this case, is defined as having a mighty struggle bringing in a fish with extremely light tackle (all the better to add to the "sport"), dragging the poor thing out of the water gasping for oxygen, holding it up for all to admire (and perhaps photograph) and then casting it back into the water so that others might catch it again. The underlying assumption, apparently, is that fish actually enjoy this exercise or, more precisely, that they enjoy trying to outwit the crafty fishing person in an aquatic version of hide and seek. I'd like to propose that we make the game more interesting by changing the fish and game laws to require that fishing persons who get a nibble and then fail to "hook" the fish must dive in the water and hold their breath for ten minutes.
coaster, Feb 11 2001


       *Some* fishing folks might not fish for food but I eat what I catch. I don't think "I feel like fish for dinner, I'd better go catch some," but if, while relaxing by a lake or river I happen to hook something edible I'll scale it, gut it, hack off its head and make a meal of it.   

       If I fail to catch something should I then throw myself into the nearest body of water and wait until my bones have been picked clean by the trout?
sirrobin, Feb 11 2001

       Have random fake exploding fish. Three minutes out of the water and *BOOM*.   

       (Sorry for cutting in on your territory [AfroAssault])
phoenix, Dec 08 2001

       (Marked-for-Deletion) Rant. Even though I agree to some extent...
snarfyguy, Dec 08 2001

       apart from fishing, I can think of a couple of things that you could do sitting at the rivers edge enjoying the solitude and the view.
po, Dec 08 2001

       The 'underlying assumption' is not 'that fish enjoy this'. There really isn't one. People like to fish, for the skill and enjoyment of it.   

       I don't, but I understand why people do. It's like shooting skeet; it's something one can do that takes skill and practice.   

       I agree with the rant analysis, and change the parens to the correct square brackets: [marked-for-deletion].
StarChaser, Dec 08 2001

       No [mfd], please. If you're deep-sea fishing for sharks, surely part of the attraction is that you could get dragged overboard and eaten? People like sports with an element of risk (mountaineering, motor racing, point-to-point horse races). Why not give your basic down-by-the-river fisherman the same thrill as the sea-going Hemingway-alike?
pottedstu, Dec 10 2001

       The only risk to deep sea shark fishing is spilling your beer. They're strapped into chairs with the rod attached to a holder. Nearly as dangerous as watching paint dry.
StarChaser, Dec 10 2001

       Ok, just have to bring back whaling, in a 20 foot long open wooden boat with harpoons on string and no other weapons. That's an exciting sport.
pottedstu, Dec 10 2001

       but those fumes are LETHAL
po, Dec 10 2001

       See? Nearly as dangerous...
StarChaser, Dec 11 2001

       To level the playing field, use a fishing line with a hook on each end -- no rod-and-reel. Place one hook in the fisherman's mouth, and the other hook in the water with bait (as usual). When a fish is hooked, the fisherman is also hooked. Winner takes all.
PotatoStew, Dec 11 2001

       Or have a trap door over a tank. If there's a fish under it, it's unlocked, otherwise it's locked. Don't have to use pirnas either!
my-nep, Oct 31 2003

       I like [PS]'s idea. Perhaps hunters should be provided with 2-sided guns.
Worldgineer, Oct 31 2003

       Well, there is another option. Do as I do. You wear a wetsuit (read:dress up as a seal).   

       Float on the surface, periodically dive down 20 or 40 feet, and look around.   

       Put blood in the water when you are successful, and take your chances. The fish taste good and it's as close to a fair contest as is practical.
normzone, Nov 09 2003

       If you are looking for a way to even-up the contest then how about this. The entrance/exit to the fishing venue is built as a long corridor with a fish tank on one side. Since fish aren't able to cast lines out of the water into the air, catch you, and drag you under, a fairer method is created. An electronically-tagged piece of fish-food is placed into the water. If any of the fish eat it before you get to the end of the corridor then you are suffocated until you are weak but not dead, then released back to the start of the corridor for other fish to 'catch'. If you make it to the end of the corridor then you can carry on fishing.
dobtabulous, Nov 10 2003


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