h a l f b a k e r y
"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
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So today, I was working with some silver nitrate
All was well and good, until some time after I left the
realized that my fingertips had turned black (they still
are). Clearly I had mishandled some of the innocuous-
looking clear solution, which had darkened on exposure
sunlight. This, of course, is more or less how
The black stains cannot be scrubbed off, and will just
to stay there until they grow out. A chemist colleague
me that nitric acid would oxidise the silver and thereby
eliminate the stains, but that does not appeal.
A quick Google reveals that silver nitrate is sometimes
used as a pigment in "henna" temporary tattoos.
in that context it is just used as a dye, with the patterns
being painted on.
But - gadulka!! - we can do better! MaxCo. is just about
evaluate its Photattoo system on our first customers. In
room dimly lit by only the reddest of red light, the
customer is bathed in a solution of silver nitrate, before
towelling themselves down and standing - very, very still
please - in front of a computer projector.
Following a few minutes' exposure, the customer is
with a stop solution, and emerges with a full-body
tattoo of photographic (though monochrome) detail.
By a careful alignment of the projected image, we can
tattoo you with a full-sized image of your chosen
the complete works of Shakespeare, or indeed any image
of your chosen choice. For added irony, you can have a
photograph of your face tattooed on your face.
||exciting - who will be first!?
||I have, selflessly and without regard to personal
safety, volunteered to be the first person to have
his valet photattooed. I'm having him done as Lara
||After that, [8th] has asked to be covered in playful
kittens. Well, 'asked' may not be the right word.
||I had thought this might be an idea to cover one's self with
potato prints. It still could be!
||It could if you cut a pattern or pic into the potato half,
then dipped it into the nitrate mix, and stamped it all over
the torso canvas. Well? Couldn't it??
||They're all dyeing to be you! (you had me at "Tattooey.") [+]
||I expect to feel a cool wave, then a flash of light and next thing you know I find "I'm lovin' it" in black letters on my forehead.
||My chemistry-of-photography is a little rust, but I think you'll need to be spritzed with a developer, then thoroughly washed with a fixer.
||No, scratch that. A developer won't work because the silver nitrate is not in grains. You will need a relatively long/bright exposure, followed by washing with fixer. (You have to get the unexposed ionic silver right out of the skin, or it will darken later).
||//I expect to feel a cool wave, then a flash of light
and next thing you know I find "I'm lovin' it" in black
letters on my forehead.//
||If you mean "stealth tattoos", you may need to wait
until we've perfected our remotely-targetted
instamatic dot-matrix tanning UV laser.