Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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So today, I was working with some silver nitrate solution. All was well and good, until some time after I left the lab I realized that my fingertips had turned black (they still are). Clearly I had mishandled some of the innocuous- looking clear solution, which had darkened on exposure to sunlight. This, of course, is more or less how photography was invented.

The black stains cannot be scrubbed off, and will just have to stay there until they grow out. A chemist colleague told me that nitric acid would oxidise the silver and thereby eliminate the stains, but that does not appeal.

A quick Google reveals that silver nitrate is sometimes used as a pigment in "henna" temporary tattoos. However, in that context it is just used as a dye, with the patterns being painted on.

But - gadulka!! - we can do better! MaxCo. is just about to evaluate its Photattoo system on our first customers. In a room dimly lit by only the reddest of red light, the customer is bathed in a solution of silver nitrate, before towelling themselves down and standing - very, very still please - in front of a computer projector.

Following a few minutes' exposure, the customer is spritzed with a stop solution, and emerges with a full-body tattoo of photographic (though monochrome) detail.

By a careful alignment of the projected image, we can tattoo you with a full-sized image of your chosen celebrity, the complete works of Shakespeare, or indeed any image of your chosen choice. For added irony, you can have a photograph of your face tattooed on your face.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 12 2013


       exciting - who will be first!?
po, Jul 12 2013

       I have, selflessly and without regard to personal safety, volunteered to be the first person to have his valet photattooed. I'm having him done as Lara Croft.   

       After that, [8th] has asked to be covered in playful kittens. Well, 'asked' may not be the right word.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 12 2013

       I had thought this might be an idea to cover one's self with potato prints. It still could be!
xenzag, Jul 12 2013

       No, really, it couldn't.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 12 2013

       It could if you cut a pattern or pic into the potato half, then dipped it into the nitrate mix, and stamped it all over the torso canvas. Well? Couldn't it??
xenzag, Jul 13 2013

       They're all dyeing to be you! (you had me at "Tattooey.") [+]
Grogster, Jul 13 2013

       I expect to feel a cool wave, then a flash of light and next thing you know I find "I'm lovin' it" in black letters on my forehead.
not_morrison_rm, Jul 13 2013

       My chemistry-of-photography is a little rust, but I think you'll need to be spritzed with a developer, then thoroughly washed with a fixer.
spidermother, Jul 13 2013

       No, scratch that. A developer won't work because the silver nitrate is not in grains. You will need a relatively long/bright exposure, followed by washing with fixer. (You have to get the unexposed ionic silver right out of the skin, or it will darken later).
spidermother, Jul 13 2013

       //I expect to feel a cool wave, then a flash of light and next thing you know I find "I'm lovin' it" in black letters on my forehead.//   

       If you mean "stealth tattoos", you may need to wait until we've perfected our remotely-targetted instamatic dot-matrix tanning UV laser.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 13 2013


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