Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Poison Parachute Crayon Job Lot

lick crayon end and die
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I was in Berlin last week and I bought a job lot of special crayons at the Mauer Park market.

They were a left over from the former GDR and were obviously intended for use as a dastardly weapon of mass destruction by the Russians at some future time when the need for desperate measures was anticipated. The intention therefore was for the crayons to be used as a sort of doomsday weapon. The idea was for a major western city to be carpet bombed by these crayons, each of which comes with its own parachute.

The really fiendish part lies in the competition instructions printed on the inside of the parachutes, inviting the new owner to lick the crayon to activate its powerful pigment, then colour in the simple graphic cartoon drawing on the outside surface of the parachute.

This of course results in the instant demise of the unfortunate would be artist. The thing is, I have a box of these and now offer them to anyone who wishes to contact me by email (we can haggle over the price, but I'm thinking a tenner (sterling only) a crayon, and no questions asked or responsibility accepted)

xenzag, Apr 01 2010

All the way at the bottom http://www.marketin...ts.com/bullet21.htm
[normzone, Apr 01 2010]

[link]






       Death by Drawing to Cull the Creatives.[+]
Aristotle, Apr 01 2010
  

       In this part of the world, (middle-west USA), "crayon" is a children's wax drawing thingy (which they often eat). In France, apparently, it is a coloured pencil or something. So I am confused. Are you trying to poison children, or French artists?   

       Just curious, really. Croissant either way.
baconbrain, Apr 01 2010
  

       In England, where English is spoken, crayon also means a childrens' or artists' drawing.
Aristotle, Apr 01 2010
  

       Does it kill even if merely poked into a bodily orifice, like a nostril?
coprocephalous, Apr 01 2010
  

       In a world of scented crayons, I imagine these all smell like bitter almonds. How many colours are there to choose from?   

       Certainly lends a new twist to the phrase "poison pen letter"...
Canuck, Apr 01 2010
  

       //What flavour are they ?//   

       Ricin.
Whistlebritches, Apr 01 2010
  

       which part of this is not true?
dentworth, Apr 01 2010
  

       Well, if it were true then it would be baked, wouldn't it?   

       I'm picturing those old match books that tried to lure you into signing up for "art school" - CAN YOU DRAW THIS PIRATE? and the like.
normzone, Apr 01 2010
  

       [marked-for-expiry] - at midnight GMT to be precise
xenzag, Apr 01 2010
  

       I know of a book/film where a very similar technique was employed to kill unfortunates. (being secretive to not give out a spoiler)
Jinbish, Apr 02 2010
  

       [Jinbish], Would it have starred Sean Connery? And have been set in the 14th century?
jurist, Apr 02 2010
  

       [Jinbish], Appellation of A Plant, perhaps?
Aristotle, Apr 02 2010
  
      
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