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Potential Road-Kill Avoidance Critter Scoop

Save yourself from emotional distress
 
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Giant ABS plastic scoop attached below the front bumper to scoop away emotional distress of hitting potential road-muffin-type critter. Can be used with optional capture unit accessory, ducted under the car into padded containment unit in the trunk. Always practice Capture-and-Release techniques.

Side Benefit: Scoop can be easily modified into a "Ram-Air" system for ducting cold charged air into engine intake--extra engine performance when traveling in Non-Critter environs.

chooch, Sep 01 2001

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       hooboy - could have used one of these 2 weeks ago - Coyote Everywhere
thumbwax, Sep 01 2001
  

       how much damage would this save the animal?
technobadger, Sep 01 2001
  

       I don't think you could avoid killing the animal above a certain speed. Internal organs are only attached so well, and no matter how well you handle the outside of the animal, if you accelerate/decelerate it too quickly, things inside are going to tear loose. Important things, like the heart.   

       From dimly-remembered statistics on humans involved in car and motorcycle accidents, I think the max speed is around 30 MPH.
wiml, Sep 03 2001
  

       Friend of mine was doing about 60 mph on a motor-bike when he hit a deer. Bike was totalled, actually broke in half. Deer got up, glared at him, and stomped off.
angel, Sep 03 2001
  

       wiml--yeah, that sounds right. Maybe the PRKACS unit could be more like a very long tapered cowcatcher so the kinetic energy of the moving car would be transferred to the critter along a lateral vector, so to speak, imparting a rolling or spinning motion whilst pushing it to one side? No, I thought not, actually. Very strong jets of air blowing frontwards--perhaps a Pratt & Whitney turbofan mounted on the front end to blow animals aside? No, that would make the car go backwards. Bother. Well, if the animal is likely to be damaged irreparably, then, why not just scoop it up, run it through a chopper/bagger, and fill your trunk with bags of critterburger?
Dog Ed, Sep 03 2001
  

       Why not invert that Pratt & Whitney and forget about IF the criiter is GOING to be injured. Chop it and bag it. (See also- Vacuum enhanced car) General Motors incorporated the "cow-catcher grille" into the 1986-90 Buick Skylarks. Apparently, they dont work too well for anything bigger than a SMALL bird.
MadMax's Brother, Aug 16 2002
  

       I designed one of these once, but unfortunately the vehicle has to be well constructed to take the impact of scooping something like an Angus bull up at near the speed limit. I prefer to leave most of the scooping to the people most qualified such as the highway department. Another consideration is the possibility that after the animal has lain all night on the road, it might be frozen to the pavement and not want to move. Better to let sleeping dogs lie.
rcain, Nov 21 2002
  

       dual purpose critter scoop and air intake... how well can the modern internal combustion engine cope with a possum in the cylinder? could lead to an interesting addition to car tests.
greennightmonkey, Apr 10 2003
  

       Baked. Trains had these things called "cow-catchers", imagine that.
belg4mit, Apr 11 2003
  
      
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