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Roadkill Removal Service

Oh deer.
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Where I live in the back of beyond deer on the roads is a common problem. Every morning the roadways are decorated with various bodies* on the right of way and the occasional totaled vehicle on the shoulder nearby. A call to local government will sometimes but not always result in a uniformed minion dispatched to remove the furry offender which is often just dumped beyond the shoulder and left to be scavenged or to rot.

RockCo has developed a proactive roadkill removal service where the offending animal is attached to the vehicle trailer hitch with a short length of rope. The corpse is then dragged the length of the road, on the rough shoulder if possible, in the direction of decreasing civilization. Successful implementation will have the animal coarsely sanded away to where nothing large remains except the portion still tied to the rope, which could then be flung into the bushes for the foxes or perhaps mounted on the wall.

Residual odor from the very long but very thin layer of deeryness should dissipate quickly.

* animals, usually

whatrock, Nov 21 2023

Roadkill Cafe https://route66seli...tractions/#roadkill
You kill it we grill it! [a1, Nov 21 2023]

This gives me an idea. Raptor_20Safety_20Fluoro_20Paint_20Trap
[pertinax, Nov 25 2023]

[link]






       what about totaled vehicles?
janm, Nov 21 2023
  

       Yeah a mile long blood smear, that's exactly what I want my daughter to see along the side of the road [-]
21 Quest, Nov 21 2023
  

       What's even the point? What problem is this intended to solve?
21 Quest, Nov 21 2023
  

       [-] Waste of meat. If it isn't already smeared into the road there's good eatin on them things. (link)
a1, Nov 21 2023
  

       The solution is to install barbecues at regular intervals along these roads so that passers-by can easily pull over when they see some roadkill and enjoy a bit of al fresco venison
hippo, Nov 21 2023
  

       [+] on [hippo]'s idea, which deserves to be posted on its own.
a1, Nov 21 2023
  

       What Hippo and a1 said.
21 Quest, Nov 21 2023
  

       [hippo] for head of Highway Facilities Planning
pocmloc, Nov 21 2023
  

       Oooh! Ambulances and service vehicles get trailers to accommodate pop-up abbatoirs/barbecue joints. Once finished at accident sites the response vehicle leaves and the BBQ trailer opens for business. Fresh venison, raccoon, porcupine, etc., and land crab in season! Mmmm!
minoradjustments, Nov 23 2023
  

       Welcome to the halfbakery [janm], now start posting ideas to earn some croissant crumbs or fishbone carcasses!
xenzag, Nov 23 2023
  

       What [xen] said.
Voice, Nov 23 2023
  

       // what about totalled vehicles//   

       They too can be hooked up and dragged until there's nothing left.
whatrock, Nov 23 2023
  

       thank you.
janm, Nov 23 2023
  

       //mile long blood smear//   

       Surprisingly, there's not much red in the drag mark unless you got to the animal *really* soon after their demise. For a cow, the dominant color is usually a mid-digestive green. Other ruminants may have a more drab coloration of diet, yielding a grayish streak.   

       (These marks happened fairly often in my old home-town. The skidmarks had an exceedingly low degree of anonymity - you could always figure out who had lost an animal by tracing back to the start. It was considered bad form to so decorate Main Street, or to yuck up the street in front of the church. If you did, everybody knew in short order.)
lurch, Nov 24 2023
  

       Now that no one uses phone boxes, they can be repurposed as roadside booths for the exsanguination, hanging up, and ageing of roadkill, prior to using the aforementioned roadside barbecue
hippo, Nov 24 2023
  

       Scavengers and feeders of opportunity are drawn to fresh kills - this is a factor in raptor deaths. Distance betwixt the road and the carcass would help.
normzone, Nov 24 2023
  

       {pictures velociraptor in road accident}
pertinax, Nov 24 2023
  

       'What problem is this intended to solve?'   

       Presumably boredom.
RayfordSteele, Nov 25 2023
  
      
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