Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Powdered artificial mucus

  [vote for,

Mucus is useful stuff. The body generates it to trap and move particles. But is mucus really optimal for its use? It is what evolution has provided us, but can we do better with some intelligent design?

BUNGCO says yes! Putting the art back in artificial, Powdered Artificial Mucus is a synthetic, non microbe-supporting powder (thus the name) intended to be inhaled, ingested, inserted or otherwise applied to all the places your body already has mucus. The PAM will rehydrated in place, and then outdo your own possibly mutant and ineffective mucus in a bionic tour de force. Expel those bong hit remnants and airway colonists! Clear your sinuses! Conceive that baby! And you will come back for more, because you will miss it when its gone.

Available in strawberry, dill and mince.

bungston, Mar 07 2011

PAM http://1.bp.blogspo...s/s320/PamSpray.bmp
[normzone, Mar 09 2011]

Eeewww.... Vagina-Jam
Like you didn't know ... [8th of 7, Mar 09 2011]

http://www.bioscire...ppliers/pid7462.htm [MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 10 2011]

Could be reconstituted with this http://medind.nic.i...i2/taat05i2p178.pdf
[mouseposture, Mar 11 2011]


       I can always hoark the biggest loogies after guzzling a glass of milk, ad often a McD's milkshake.
rcarty, Mar 07 2011

       Thank you for that colorful and altogether disgusting annotation. As for the idea, I think it needs to come in fluid form. We don't want our membranes insta- dehydrated...
Voice, Mar 08 2011

       I thought it was relevant because those substances somehow generate loogies.
rcarty, Mar 08 2011

       [+] Booger powder: just add water.
FlyingToaster, Mar 08 2011

       I discovered some time ago that mucus makes an excellent cutting lubricant for copper. In the privacy of my own workshop, this is fine, but I could never work out how to commercialise the principal.   

       Perhaps this is the answer.   

       Is the synthetic product cheaper than employing child labour in the far east to fill the jars?
Twizz, Mar 09 2011

       PAM is already available in a spray can (link).
normzone, Mar 09 2011

       //but I could never work out how to commercialise the principal.//
Assuming you didn't mean the head of an educational establishment (that would be a pricey commodity), you could perhaps gainfully employ people from what my employers describe as "emerging markets" to contribute their secretions.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 09 2011

       Strawberry and dill scent sounds nice. Not so sure about mice.
doctorremulac3, Mar 09 2011

       We thought that the HB had plumbed the depths with <link>.   

       Of course, we were wrong.   

       Humans are very odd.
8th of 7, Mar 09 2011

methinksnot, Mar 11 2011


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