Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Precocious Barbie Wire

Barbed wire with precocious barbies of course
  (+8, -3)
(+8, -3)
  [vote for,

Barbed wire is nasty and ugly, but unfortunately it is often a necessary protection and deterrent.

Precocious Barbie Wire consists of a string of animated barbies, each of whom contains a powerful little engine, allowing their limbs to move in certain ways, and who have been programmed to respond defensively towards attempts at intruding into their space.

They constantly strut and prance around the top of a perimeter, occasionally pausing to pout, sneer, blow kisses or adjust their hemlines, according to a randomised behaviour cycle.

A determined intruder who approaches too close, will quickly find their motion detected, activating the Barbies in their immediate vicinity.

The sharpened, manicured nails of Barbies in their 'Catwalk Tantrum Mode' will rapidly snag and tear at their clothes. This is accompanied by repeated stamping with high heels, and hair tossing.

Larger properties will want to avail of the 'Barbie Riding on My Little Pony' range, and for the really paranoid there is 'GI Barbie', with cute combat wear, cruising the perimeters in convoys of miniature, pink Humvees.

Precocious Barbies will of course require regular, persistent maintenance, with new outfits, i.e. bikinis for the summer and faux fur coats with matching boots for the winter, along with the latest hair and make-up styles. There is a down side to this, as any perceived lack of attention can cause your Barbies to become very hostile and shut out their loving owner. All of this makes them totally high maintenance and very impractical but they are worth every bit of it.

xenzag, Sep 22 2006

The Delightful Temple Girl http://www.dollsofindia.com/product/RF08/
Entangles the unwary with coils of hair and the exotic behaviour and aromas of the East. Bites back like a coiled serpent when disturbed [xenzag, Sep 22 2006]

Venetian blades Venetian_20BLADES
Possible inspiration? No? Well let me pretend for a while anyway. [ye_river_xiv, Sep 25 2006]

Like this, [xen]? http://elouai.com/t...rix_screensaver.php
Not actually a representation of what your computer's up to, but kind of fun... [m_Al_com, Sep 26 2006]

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       I like it... weird and freaky. +
xandram, Sep 22 2006

       Why am I envisioning this being used to enclose a group of quite unimpressed cows? (+)
Galbinus_Caeli, Sep 22 2006

       I get the feeling someone spends a little too much time with their desktop stripper.
Noexit, Sep 22 2006

       I never heard of a Desktop Stripper [Noexit] - is that like paint stripper, only it peels off the desktop on your computer and you can see all the code racing around like a scene from the Matrix? - cool I want some of that.
xenzag, Sep 22 2006

       That is hilarious.. they would probably make good Patio lanterns as well if you could set their hair on fire.. could I place an order just of Kens though?
ionsfromzion, Sep 24 2006

       Where's the element of precocity?
pertinax, Sep 25 2006

       I believe the precociousness factor comes from the Barbies' apparent predilection for the materialistic, which is likely a result of their anxiety over which one of them is the cutest.
Canuck, Sep 25 2006

       Well, this outclasses my venetian blades by a mile or two, and I'm not ashamed to say it... Some would argue that barbie wire might promote sexist views of some sort, but not me!
ye_river_xiv, Sep 25 2006

       This is fun to imagine, Its sort of like the fashion doll comandos in "small Soldiers".   

       have a bun.
-wess, Sep 26 2006


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