h a l f b a k e r y
Invented by someone French.
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Barbed wire is nasty and ugly, but
unfortunately it is often a necessary
protection and deterrent.
Precocious Barbie Wire consists of a
of animated barbies, each of whom
contains a powerful little engine,
their limbs to move in certain ways, and
who have been programmed
defensively towards attempts at intruding
into their space.
They constantly strut and prance around
the top of a perimeter, occasionally
pausing to pout, sneer, blow kisses or
adjust their hemlines, according to a
randomised behaviour cycle.
A determined intruder who approaches
too close, will quickly find their motion
detected, activating the Barbies in their
The sharpened, manicured nails of
in their 'Catwalk Tantrum Mode' will
rapidly snag and tear at their clothes.
is accompanied by repeated stamping
high heels, and hair tossing.
Larger properties will want to avail of the
'Barbie Riding on My Little Pony' range,
for the really paranoid there is 'GI Barbie',
with cute combat wear, cruising the
perimeters in convoys of miniature, pink
Precocious Barbies will of course require
regular, persistent maintenance, with
outfits, i.e. bikinis for the summer and
faux fur coats with matching boots for
winter, along with the latest hair and
make-up styles. There is a down side to
this, as any perceived lack of attention
can cause your Barbies to become very
hostile and shut out their loving owner.
All of this makes them totally high
maintenance and very impractical but
they are worth every bit of it.
The Delightful Temple Girl
Entangles the unwary with coils of hair and the exotic behaviour and aromas of the East. Bites back like a coiled serpent when disturbed [xenzag, Sep 22 2006]
Possible inspiration? No? Well let me pretend for a while anyway. [ye_river_xiv, Sep 25 2006]
Like this, [xen]?
Not actually a representation of what your computer's up to, but kind of fun... [m_Al_com, Sep 26 2006]
||I like it... weird and freaky. +
||Why am I envisioning this being used to enclose a group of quite unimpressed cows? (+)
||I get the feeling someone spends a little too much time with their desktop stripper.
||I never heard of a Desktop Stripper
[Noexit] - is that like paint stripper, only it
peels off the desktop on your computer
and you can see all the code racing around
like a scene from the Matrix? - cool I want
some of that.
||That is hilarious.. they would probably make good Patio lanterns as well if you could set their hair on fire.. could I place an order just of Kens though?
||Where's the element of precocity?
||I believe the precociousness factor comes from the Barbies' apparent predilection for the materialistic, which is likely a result of their anxiety over which one of them is the cutest.
||Well, this outclasses my venetian blades by a mile or two, and I'm not ashamed to say it... Some would argue that barbie wire might promote sexist views of some sort, but not me!
||This is fun to imagine, Its sort of like the fashion doll comandos in "small Soldiers".