Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Trump Toys

the smartest thing in the world donald trump could do right now
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the smartest thing in the world that donald trump could do right now, would be to fund the gifting of the following toys to every american family with children under 20. This set of 3 toys would be a cartoon representation of a fob watch, monocle on a chain and overwraught extravagant hand carved evening pipe. was there such a thing as a morning pipe?

these three toys, should be designed so that kids want to hold them and they make for lots of funny christmas pictures in time for the holidays. and trump could send one set out to every family along with an advertising campaign that encourages planning small business entrepreneurship and a contact for anyone who wants help implementing an idea, to the local public library where book groups will read how to get rich by donald trump and have regular meetings about how to take your anger out by being productive and building your dream business, especially if that business involves medical marijuana or something else that would preserve rather than destroy american values.

these "get your shit together" groups would be tied together by the democratic national party at the national level, but also funded by the republicans as a way to find a cross partisan project that everyone can focus on to mend bridges etc.

you sign up for a weekly schedule of political talk, strategizing, assistive technology learning, free classes on how to make money, how to build your business, how to plan for the future etc. and the american library association send out nationwide tip sheets on how to use the how to get rich /get your shit together / entrepreneurial groups to make your life better. Especially the assistive technology training part of this would be a never ending job if you are in the market for that kind of thing.

this should actually be sponsored by the library and it should be a book group that is cognitively inclusive and the first running of the book group will produce at the national level a cognitively accessible version of the book how to get rich by donald trump or some amalgam of that and all the other classic self help and get rich quick scheme books. and it should include a history of the protestants and the kkk and white people in general.

so you would set up a bidding war between conservative and liberal funding sources as to who gets to claim credit when businesses start making money.

and then everyone gets to walk away with three little three d printed toys that look like a fob watch, a monocle and a pipe but they are actually vessels for intelligent components that would be available from amazon that would turn the toys into smart toys.

the smart toy programs could be a really minimal education program that would train babies to be either republicans or democrats depending on who funds the project.

it could be a grad school project.

JesusHChrist, Nov 16 2016

http://www.standard...p-win-a3393486.html "all Americans must be accompanied by an adult" [xenzag, Nov 16 2016]

[link]






       CNN et al the following day:   

       TRUMP HEAVILY ENDORSES SMOKING FOR CHILDREN, HANDS OUT GATEWAY TOYS
Voice, Nov 16 2016
  

       Sign which appeared outside a restaurant in England recently, which I would like made into a badge I could wear: "All American visitors must be accompanied by an adult" This would be totally lost on Trump of course as he will be the first American president to not be able to actually read - a shocking state of affairs, meaning that he needs to be permanently accompanied by an interpreter. (see link)
xenzag, Nov 16 2016
  

       Genuine sign:   

       "Children under 16 must be accompanied by a responsible adult".   

       Underneath, a neat addition made with a labeling machine - "Irresponsible adults must be accompanied by a responsible dog".
8th of 7, Nov 16 2016
  

       I'm not certain what a monicle is but if it anything like a Monica then I'm not sure I want one.
RayfordSteele, Nov 16 2016
  
      
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