Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Programmable Ouija (tm) Board

An Ouija Board that can spell out pre-programmed messages
  (+17, -5)(+17, -5)
(+17, -5)
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A cleverly concealed microprocessor causes the pointing device (surreptitiously fitted with magnets) to spell out pre-selected messages. Imagine the fun as, for example, your board spells out some of Linda Blair's choicer lines from "The Exorcist" in front of your Christian friends. Imagine their further surprise when the board continues spelling out these messages without human assistance.
Ander, Jul 26 2000

Trevor Johnson says it's a waste of time http://www.home-wor...ent/lifestyle.shtml
Is he talking about us? [FloridaManatee, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       As opposed to the standard ouija board which is programmed on the fly by the people playing it...   

       Or maybe your friends aren't as sinister as mine....
davros42, Sep 19 2000

       Imagine YOUR surprise when after it spells out what you told it to say, it starts spelling out what IT has to say handsfree. For example, My late Grandmother and my Aunt used a Ouija board many times to visit with my Grandfather. Oftentimes after the sessions, their faces were hot with tears. This Aunt still refuses to speak with any specifics, but is aware of the powers. I have many friends who have practiced metaphysics, spirit summons, Ouija boards, etc. and as they have matured they have steered completely away from these devices. One should not mock or mimic the spirit realm as one knows not how closely one is watched by unseen forces, nor their power.
thumbwax, Sep 19 2000

       [lurking in the background, humming that hook from "The Twilight Zone"]
Ander, Oct 13 2000

       No kidding! You called it, Ander.
rachele, Dec 02 2000

       Well I think it would be a damn fun idea. It should be programable. That way you put in specifics about the person or persons using it. I guess for that you would need a remote control. Anyway if it makes a million and you use my idea too....GIMMIE MY MONEY!!! Jakus Snakus
jakob, Dec 06 2000

       I think this is an absolutey cracking idea, My mates would be crapping themselves with this thing, Oh, the FUN I could have with one of these, where can I get one???
spliffy4, Jun 26 2001

       I like the concept. I think it would probably require two small motors in the pointer-thingie (along with a microcontroller and an LF pickup), and a grid of transmitter wires in the base along with some electronics to drive them.   

       With that hardware, the pointer-thingie would be able to pilot itself anywhere on the message board it needed to go.
supercat, Jun 27 2001

       Aren't you supposed to navigate the board with a glass? Ie, something transparent?   

       I can see two ways of doing this: ship with a specially-made glass with transparent means of moving itself, or make a surface which moves objects about - possibly with a transparent surface that rolls about the edges, or with really really small balls in the surface (uneven)...   

       Any better ideas?
sadie, Apr 22 2002

       Or make it Video Ouija . . .
bristolz, Apr 22 2002

       I think it has the potential for truly horrendous fallout-- this way, when your ouija board foretells tragedies in the future, everyone will think it is just you mucking around, and no-one will believe you, and you will stand by helpless as we careen headlong into WWIII.
subgenius, Jul 05 2002

       Had 4 friends that shivered and shacked for 2 days, they summoned someone green and big!! I didn't believe them at first, bud they looked like they just seen a ghost.(real bad) Who knows what will happen, hook up a gsm to the other side?
postseti, Jul 06 2002

       subgenius: Or worse, you could have it spell out completely boring stuff, causing everyone to wander off looking for appetizers---and then when the boring stuff ACTUALLY COMES TO PASS, won't they be surprised!
Ander, Nov 08 2002

       My mouse is spinning round and round in a demonic fashion... Good idea
lostdog, Mar 06 2003

       //something transparent?//   

       You could have a metalic (or magnetic) rimmed glass... with a goldfish in it.
FloridaManatee, Mar 07 2003

       I really want to build this.   

       I need a split block of wood, milled out with a router. Two concealed surface contacts would charge a 5V capacitor that would power the device.   

       The device would have a 5-output cycling counter chip, 5x 555 chips (plus capacitor and resistor for each) for a delay and 5x latch transistors/relays, 5x electromagnetic coils mounted in holes drilled close to the surface of the board.   

       I would then test and encapsulate the workings and seal the board so it has a solid feel. Total cost: ten bucks maybe.   

       Once charged, the board would cycle endlessly through "A-L-L-D-I-E-A-L-L-D-I-E-A-L-L-D-I-E-A-L-L-D-I-E" until it ran out of juice.   

       The trick is tuning the 555s to give the most authentic feeling delay.   

       Hey! I have a friend that manufactures toys. Maybe he's game...
FloridaManatee, Apr 16 2003

       //My mouse is spinning round and round in a demonic fashion//   

       That's a great gag. Mount a small drive in the mouse. Every now and then, it moves ... every so slightly.   

       Joking aside, this could be used as a force-feedback mouse. You could have:   

       Sticky buttons that you felt the mouse run over
Help programs that would physically drag your hand to where you needed to click
Force feedback on Doom 3
FloridaManatee, Apr 16 2003

       [FloridaManatee] has he ever toyed with the idea of making games?
silverstormer, Apr 16 2003

       Mostly nodding dogs. He's a specialist in that electro-static fuzz, or whatever it's called.   

       At a local toy-fair, he pointed my spouse to the Unimat hobby mill, something that's given me more hours of pleasure than .... many things I'd care to mention. It's configureable as a mill, lathe, wood turning lathe, drill press, jigsaw and lots of other stuff.   

       He badly wanted a Unimat himself, so I figure maybe he's up to prototyping this idea for eventual baking.
FloridaManatee, Apr 16 2003

       It's occurred to me that this could probably be paid for by product tie-ins. Before the sinister message, a short product-related message could appear. Conditioned as we are, everyone would know the main part was still coming.
Ander, May 08 2003

       Mabe this could be combined with my "balancer"? Have the two tracking cameras hiding in holes.
my-nep, Nov 24 2003


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