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Prosthetic vibrating testicle

Fun in the sack
  (+22, -2)(+22, -2)(+22, -2)
(+22, -2)
  [vote for,

Prosthetic testicles are decidedly boring. Instead of a solid lump of silicone, make it a hollow shell. Inside, place a small vibrating motor, rechargeable battery, induction coil, and switch. A similar coil mounted in the mattress or car seat of the user charges the battery by wireless magnetic coupling. All components are engineered for longevity.

When the user decides to use it, he simply gives the testicle a quick squeeze, activating the motor and providing pleasant vibrations for himself and a partner.

This idea could also be extended to silicone breast implants.

Aq_Bi, Jan 07 2007


       wouldn't want to squeeze the wrong one!
emjay, Jan 07 2007

       O.T. I'm sure I read recently that dogs can have prosthetic testicles fitted with ID chips built in.
Dub, Jan 07 2007

       Anno of the month there, at least.
Germanicus, Jan 07 2007

       Where would you charge the breasts up?
deoxyribonucleic, Jan 07 2007

       The mattress would work for those who don't sleep on their back. Otherwise the induction coils could be built into a bra. It would certainly give new meaning to the underwire.
Aq_Bi, Jan 07 2007

       Connect it to your Playstation and make the Hot Coffee patch in San Andreas that much more fun.
Abusementpark, Jan 08 2007

       Quick question: would any guys get a testicle removed to get this? Or is it specifically marketed to guys who were born with/lost one?
PollyNo9, Jan 08 2007

       Have you ever seen a naked 4-year-old running around win uneven and disproportionate testicles?
twitch, Jan 08 2007

       If I only had a dime for every time I heard that question....
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Jan 08 2007

       Other models could be prosthetic testicles with those small bells that are attached to cat collars inside.Prosthetic jingling.
skinflaps, Jan 08 2007

       Wrong in every possible way, crude, immoral, workable... Hmm, I never really did want kids, and I suppose this would ensure that, with some benefits on the side... so it's settled. Here's my bun. let me know when the production line starts up.
ye_river_xiv, Jan 08 2007

       Having recent testicular surgery myself, I would not want to go through the (intense, excrutiating) pain just to have one that vibrates. Had the pathology report come back positive, I may have opted for this. [+]
Klaatu, Jan 08 2007

       I'm sure there are nuts out there (heh heh) who would pay to have a third vibrating testicle installed.
Eugene, Jan 09 2007

       Nuts are very sensitive! That is why women can make a man cringe and cover his nuts just by lifting their leg in a violent and threatening pose. Remember when that guy on L.A. confidential was getting his nuts squeezed by the cop in the bar? The dude past out. After these life lessons, I believe that I have normal, sensitive nuts. I would not like to order an implant.
twitch, Jan 09 2007

       This would be intended for those already missing a testi or two. Most people who opt to remove healthy testicles don't want to be considered men anyway.   

       LEDs would be a great addition. Personally I find it fascinating to hold a small red LED in my palm and examine the glow emanating all the way through my hand. I imagine the relatively thin skin of the scrotum would allow even the higher green and blue wavelengths to pass through.   

       If this were applied to cancer patients, especially breast implants, the tumour could easily be examined with the convenient internal lighting. Other than medical, they would simply be really neat to look at. I'd like a pair of colour changing boobs myself someday.
Aq_Bi, Jan 09 2007

       What if it turned on accidentally in a board meeting? Would be awkward as hell trying to turn it off.
shinobi, Jan 09 2007

       //providing pleasant vibrations for himself and a partner//   

       ??.. Wha..?   

       What is it exactly that my fella can do with his vibrating taters to provide me with pleasure?!
squeak, Jan 09 2007

       He might be able to make you laugh.
angel, Jan 09 2007

       or mix you a cocktail.
skinflaps, Jan 09 2007

       //He might be able to make you laugh//
Without a shadow of a doubt.

       //or mix you a cocktail//
- You want that shaken or stirred?
- Shaken. Definitely shaken.

       Oh. My. God. I just noticed the summary. +
squeak, Jan 09 2007

       if you installed bluetooth-balls, you could know when you have an incoming call..
TIB, Jan 09 2007

       ESP balls? That could actually work. Although, it would be more practical to put it somewhere else in your body.
twitch, Jan 09 2007

       I can think of several ways it would be pleasurable. It's a matter of preference really.   

       A wireless link could provide all sorts of fun, especially for those into the D/S style. Add a small microcontroller, and complex programming is possible.
Aq_Bi, Jan 10 2007

       Are you Benfrost by any chance?
energy guy, Jan 10 2007

       what about other vibrating body parts? eg. fingers... one switch makes it a flashlight, the other vibrates it. useful at night, too, while pulling out my balls to find my way would be rather awkward. [+]
excitations, Jan 10 2007

       Depends what you're looking for.
angel, Jan 10 2007

       Self-jiggling boobs. [+]   

       I'm easily pleased.
wagster, Jan 10 2007

       No, I'm not Benfrost. I am me and me alone, subject to change.   

       Adding lights to fingers doesn't really work. The scrotum and chest cavity are suited to this because they are large and hollow; plenty of room to stick electronics in there. Fingers tend to be filled with flesh and bone.   

       I suppose you could insert a tiny LED into the fingertip and locate the battery elsewhere, but anyone who's added wiring to a finished house knows how difficult such a task can be. You'd be facing major surgery just to look like E.T., and you wouldn't have the protective silicone bubble either.   

       Now, a woman with a few high intensity implants and a light coloured top would make an excellent beacon. This may or may not be a good thing.
Aq_Bi, Jan 10 2007

       Alternatively, just put a washing machine in your underwear.   

       "vibrating taters" is making me snigger a lot.
Murdoch, Jan 11 2007

       Vibrating nipples is making me quiver a lot.
skinflaps, Jan 11 2007

       Quick question: would any guys get a testicle removed to get this?   

       Yes. I'm not naming names, but I'm sure someone would.
Noexit, Jan 11 2007

skinflaps, Jan 11 2007

       Why wasn't this idea brought to my attention sooner?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 20 2008

       //Quick question: would any guys get a testicle removed to get this?//   

       Okay, if I would, just as long as nobody else has access to the remote control, except maybe strippers, and just as long as it doesn't operate on garage door or car-lock remote frequencies, because that would be kind of unexpected. Maybe it would be set off by high voltage power-lines too. Also, it would be tough to get it past the metal detector at the airport with this.
quantum_flux, Jan 20 2008

       ..but the resulting search would be fun.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 20 2008


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