Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pushy Cake

The hydraulic Wedding Cake
  (+12, -2)(+12, -2)
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There is a custom where the bride and groom cut the cake, then smash the pieces into each other's faces, causing the guests to cheer. The hydraulic wedding cake would have a pump put inside of it with an attached cord that goes through the table. It would be operated by a pedal hidden underneathe. As the bride and groom lean over to cut the cake, someone from the wedding party would step on the pedal and the cake would rise up and smash them both in the face at the same time. Surprise. (There should be another cake for the guests to eat.)
xandram, Dec 08 2005

the old fashioned way http://www.youtube....watch?v=Dt1vN99DO5U
[jaksplat, Aug 09 2011]


       The pedal is evocative of good old fashioned heavy engineering, a sturdy metal artifact, launching a large and proud construction. The marriage, then, is metaphorically a huge, Clyde-built ship, set to safely sail the seven seas of futurity. But at the same time, I fear that if the pedal is operated by a party other than one of the recently-married then its use becomes an overcompensatory frat house-level act of jealousy and humbug. Similarly, if one of the wedded parties is to deploy the flan then, though they may also be suffering the effects, it is still an aggressive act against the other, no matter now implicitly compliant they may be. Therefore, I suggest that the pedal is replaced with as many pedals as there are guests and members of the wedding party collectively, so that all present can share in a synchronised and possibly down-counted phantom-flan-flingery moment of nuptial delight.   

       Incidentally, I suspect that the cake-face-mash move is an American, rather than global, tradition and, speaking as one whose national wedding tradition is drinking til the end of the following week while wearing a skirt, a mighty perplexing and bizarre one at that.
calum, Dec 08 2005

       I thought that drinking till the end of the following week was just a Friday thing. :)
hidden truths, Dec 08 2005

       [calum]thanks for the most eloquent anno and party on!
xandram, Dec 08 2005

       I think you need more mechanics than just the cake. The best man and maid of honor should always be robots. Because robots are very good at ironic timing (blowing up the cake while the father of the bride is crying mid-speech).
sleeka, Dec 08 2005

       (mental note: Never marry a HalfBaker...)
daaisy, Dec 08 2005

       [daisy: don't worry - they're mostly too afraid of commitment anyway!]
DrCurry, Dec 08 2005

       Robot best-man stand-in's would be great. I was a groomsman once and it was impossible for me to stand still during the 20-minute blabbery.
phundug, Dec 08 2005

       I hope that the wedding pictures have been taken by this time.
Jscotty, Dec 09 2005

       [daaisy], And if a halfbaker offers to show you his half-baguette, you should probably politely decline....
Minimal, Dec 09 2005

       Many years ago at an army course we were taught that when presenting your plan, you can use pyrotechnics, but must take care to do it lightly with minute amounts of gun powder.   

       The guy that set up the sample display thought it would be funny to play a practical joke on us, and used large amounts of gun powder. We were practically blown out of the tent.
pashute, Aug 07 2011

       //There is a custom where the bride and groom cut the cake, then smash the pieces into each other's faces, causing the guests to cheer.//   

       That's a huge improvement on the jello-pit wrestling.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 07 2011

       // The guy thought it would be funny to .... used large amounts of gun powder. //   

       Ah. That sounds horribly familiar ....   

       Sorry, and all that.
8th of 7, Aug 07 2011

       //causing the guests to cheer.// Is it customary to invite exes to the wedding?
mouseposture, Aug 07 2011

       are they still holding a large knife when the cake pump goes off?
seanbo, Aug 08 2011

       hey, I haven't seen this idea in years!!
[seanbo] cake knives aren't very sharp- they are like fake knives, so that shouldn't be a worry, unless you have some other plan in mind!
xandram, Aug 10 2011

       Speak for yourself; at my wedding, the cake was cut with longswords. Then again, we're Heathens, so we try to work swords into just about every celebration.
Alterother, Aug 10 2011


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