Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Like a magnifying lens, only with rocks.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Rambo House

Because you need that extra layer of security for your home
  (+1, -7)(+1, -7)
(+1, -7)
  [vote for,

The fact is, burglaries are occurring more than ever. Studies have shown that your likelihood of being burglarized in the next 10 years is roughly 200%. This should scare you.

Now, you COULD purchase costly bars for your windows, heavy duty security doors of solid steel, and expensive home alarm systems that are prone to "Cry Wolf." You could also light your house better and ask your neighbors to keep an eye on the place. But there are no guarantees; today's criminal is well-suited to the task of breaking and entering YOUR home.

However, there is an option: Rambo House. Get The House that Puts Up Its Dukes For You. Unleash an all-out, military quality attack on any crook who would dare invade your castle. This three-component system is centrally rigged to a keypad in your hallway.

The first component of the system is a series of covertly placed and motion-detector activated cameras. They are powered with AI to detect human intruders, and not your overfed mastiff. The second is basically a trap door in the floor that opens to reveal a pit of crocodiles. Lions and vicious robots are also available, should you opt for those instead. Finally, a full arsenal of guns, cannons, etc. placed strategically around the residence will make any thug sweat bullets.

With Rambo House, you need never feel unsafe again in your very own home.

polartomato, Jun 14 2002

Rambo Quotes http://www.geocitie...bo_site/quotes.html
Teasle: Are you telling me that 200 of our men against your boy is a no-win situation for us? [thumbwax, Jun 14 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Apartment Security http://www.soyouwan...urity/security.html
Anti-booby-trapping. [polartomato, Jun 17 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Real, legal(?) booby traps http://www.espionag...re.com/privacy.html
Scroll down to the bottom for some REAL non-lethal booby traps [polartomato, Jun 17 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Rambo-proof security? http://www.ysrnry.c...ticles/ramboiii.htm
---Not if you getcher paws on the infrared goggles [polartomato, Jun 17 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       The components of this so-called Rambo House are anything BUT Rambo. Rambo takes care of his own chit.
thumbwax, Jun 14 2002

       I challenge your 200% figure. Also, assuming you are writing from the U.S., perhaps you know that it is illegal to protect personal property with deadly force, as would be the case with your house. What is legal is the use of deadly force to protect human life. Precedent has determined that human life may reasonably be considered to be under threat if someone forcibly enters your home while it is occupied. So you'd have to have all the defenses inside the house (no perimeter defense), and they would have to be operational only when you or someone else was home.   

       Even then, there may be a legal problem with the automated nature of the system, but I'm not so sure about that.
beauxeault, Jun 14 2002

       "Get The House that Puts Up Its Dukes For You" is fantastic copywriting.
calum, Jun 14 2002

       We used to spend hours at primary school when I was 8 or 9 drawing this kind of thing: lasers, crocodiles, spikes, traps, gun turrets, wolves, radioactive sludge, tanks, leeches, walls of fire, etc.   

       It's a stupid idea unless you're a James Bond villain, and even then it won't work.
pottedstu, Jun 14 2002

       I'd want a trip wire that makes a spiked branch swing out into someone's legs, else it wouldn't be worthy of the name Rambo.
Milkyteaboy, Jun 14 2002

       I haven't locked my house since I moved in, even when I'm not there....I also sleep with the doors unlocked and usually the main door open (just the screen door closed).   

       You can either live or you can worry. What I'm trying to say is, that IF I felt I needed a Rambo house, then I would move immediately to where I DIDN'T need a Rambo house.
runforrestrun, Jun 14 2002

       This whole idea sounds awfully like the dream of an infant after too much "Home Alone". Just add this nifty blowtorch - rhing above the door
Saruman, Jun 14 2002

       This whole idea sounds awfully like the dream of an infant after too much "Home Alone". Just add this nifty blowtorch - thing above the door
Saruman, Jun 14 2002

       "Attaaaack of the polar tomatoes..."   

       (Somebody had to)
RayfordSteele, Jun 15 2002

       [thumbwax] that's the idea- the HOUSE becomes Rambolike and thus takes care of itself...   

       [beauxeault], you're right, in a factual sense. I think it could be reconfigured to administer electric taser shocks or bean bag bullets (this depending on the laws in each customer's respective area). Large pitbulls could be swapped for crocodiles. The legalities are negotiable.   

       [runforrestrun] life, as you know, is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get.
polartomato, Jun 15 2002

       No, life is an HB phenomenon: you never know how many fishbones you're gonna get...
polartomato, Jun 16 2002

       I have certain reservations: what if it detected a human, but it was you? Would the vicious robots be programmed to leave you alone?   

       And what if the burglar(izer) somehow manages to steal your Rambo house system? Now there's an irony for you.   

       One more thing: what if you leave it ofline to save power or cut out the annoying electrical buzz. You are lying in bed and hear somebody break in downstairs. Problem: the control pad is in the hallway, leaving you prone to certain beat-up-ery should you attempt to activate it. You are then doomed to losing (200%) of the contents of your living room, and perhaps, hallway. I suggest you let the buyer decide where the control pad goes.
NickTheGreat, Jun 17 2002

       Nick, the hallway is the most common location for a keypad. Of course, if you want it somewhere else, that's your beef.   

       Second of all, in all actuality, the system works more as a deterrent/slow downer. Once someone is in the house, you are screwed and your duty is to call your law enforcement agency, and then run for cover. Most alarms only exist to warn the police when you are unable to, anyway; this one just adds a little teeth. You can turn off the aggression features if necessary. I doubt there will be much of a buzz or electrical drain because this is mainly a passive system.   

       A panic button and remote control oughta come standard, as with most alarm systems, so that the said vicious robots can be deployed and, perhaps, remote-controlled right from under the bed where you should be hiding.
polartomato, Jun 17 2002

       1. Have multiple control pads. Usually about a US$125 a piece add on.   

       2. //Once someone is in the house, you are screwed and your duty is to call your law enforcement agency, and then run for cover. //   

       Once someone is in my house, they are the one who is screwed. Agreed Law enforcement should be contacted immediately, but until they arrive, you are the only one who is going keep your family safe. Set up a pre-thought defensive zone in your house, if the intruder crosses that defensive line, he's down for the count.
dag, Jun 17 2002

       As in a panic room/ Ft. Knox type thing?
polartomato, Jun 17 2002

       The idea is sure to be one of reality in the future ...There is no subsitute for pit bull guard dogs with laser guided stun guns attached to their camera helmets ...da adrianne>??? da adrianne?
shradius, Jun 17 2002

       what the hell are you talking about
consumer, Jun 19 2002

       Would they be robotic Richard Simmons?
rapid transit, May 11 2003

       Could I fill the pit with ill-tempered sea bass with laser beams attached to their heads?
GenYus, Jan 14 2004

       //Would they be robotic Richard Simmons?//   

       Screw robotic richard simmons, get a robotic gene simmons.   

       [rapid_transit], does your name have anything to do with the Plymouth rapid transit system of the early 70's?
andrew1, Sep 27 2005

       The HOUSE is Rambo? I thought it was FOR Rambo. Gee, when I was in the service we thought Rambo was a comedy.   

       Where I live, it takes almost half an hour for the nearest police to arrive, if the phones are working, and everyone has firearms (for hunting and protection from wild animals, really). Officers advised us to make sure the perp was dead, and just call them to haul away the body.
rallen71366, Dec 18 2005


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle