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Rapture Postponement Society

No one will know the day
  [vote for,

Short and sweet:

Essentially, the bible says that no one will know the day when Jesus will come back. So, all we need to do is gather a large group of people, with each person in the group picking a day, and proclaiming that it will be the day of Jesus's return. And since any guess made is guaranteed by the bible to be incorrect, then Jesus will not be able to return, and the world will be saved from the Godpocalypse.

With the birth-rate in china, if they got on board, we'd be able to guarantee that he wouldn't come back for a few thousand years at least.

CyberCod, May 27 2011

wow the variations http://biblehub.com/mark/13-32.htm
so many versions. But no "And jesus answered..." [popbottle, Oct 06 2015]


       But they have to *know* it.   

       Easy, that, if you get a bunch of people and convince them, through some goofy math, that their assigned day is the correct one. God knows that has worked many a time and oft.   

       (I read once that if you could set an end date, by which the Rapture must have already happened, you'd know it couldn't be the day before that (because if it was you'd know) and it couldn't be the day before *that* (because if it was you'd know) ....)   

       Know this [+].
baconbrain, May 27 2011

       [baconbrain] I read the same thing - or something similar:   

       A maths teacher tells his students that he will set a "surprise" test one morning next week. The students get to thinking, "Well it can't be Friday, because if it gets to Thursday, and he hasn't set the test by then, then it must be Friday, but then it can't by definition be a surprise." Another student follows on "Ahh, but if it can't be Friday, then by the end of Wednesday, if he's not set the test by then, then he'd have to set it on Thursday, but that wouldn't be a surprise, so it can't be Thursday either." They swiftly come to the conclusion that the "surprise" test can't be set on Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday - and so none of the students study for the test. A test they all subsequently fail when the teacher surprises them by setting it first thing on Wednesday morning.
zen_tom, May 27 2011

       I don't think the Bible uses the concept "know" in such strict terms, but in terms of "confident belief", i.e. having a high degree of belief without reference to its degree of rationality. The New Testament is written in a fairly colloquial style of Greek rather than the higher register used by philosophers, and wouldn't have used "know" in such a strict sense. Therefore this won't create a paradox and can be done [+].
nineteenthly, May 27 2011

       // don't think the Bible uses the concept "know" in such strict terms, but in terms of "confident belief//
Or simple, outright sodomy. Judges 19:22
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 27 2011


       Heisenberg ...   

8th of 7, May 27 2011

       I'm willing to take your bets on when it will happen.
infidel, May 27 2011

       We can know when it will happen, but only if give up knowing precisely where.
RayfordSteele, May 27 2011

       // Or simple, outright sodomy. //   

       Probably not, actually. I think there are only three unambiguous cases of a word translated as "know" in the KJV which refer to sex, so the translation in Genesis 19:5, which does apparently refer to that, is anomalous. It also condones rape, incidentally, a couple of verses later.
nineteenthly, May 28 2011

       It does no such thing, by having the main character of the story make that choice it only presents letting female relatives be raped as a lesser evil then letting male guests be raped.
Voice, May 28 2011

       This has been determined by god? That's stupid.
rcarty, May 28 2011

       What i object to in the Sodom and Gomorrah is that Lot offers his daughters up to be raped as a lesser evil, so he treats them as property. I understand that this was just how things were and still are in many parts of the world, but i can't imagine thinking that's acceptable.
nineteenthly, May 28 2011

       It was probably acceptable to the male guests.
8th of 7, May 28 2011

       //This has been determined by god? //
No, just by /a/ god.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 28 2011

       a /so-called/ god
pocmloc, May 28 2011

       so-called / invisible / god
infidel, May 28 2011

       Someone pointed out this morning that nobody has seen a JW all week.
nineteenthly, May 29 2011

       Maybe someone should start the JW Witnesses.
rcarty, May 30 2011

       Who witnesses the JW Witnesses?   

       "And at my back I always hear/The Lambda Calculus hurrying near."
nineteenthly, May 30 2011

       // Who witnesses the JW Witnesses? //   

       The Jehovah's Notaries, of course.
8th of 7, May 30 2011

       // by /a/ god?//   

       No, by Lot.
RayfordSteele, May 31 2011

       Jehovah's Notaries, hah!
RayfordSteele, Oct 06 2015


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