Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Remote Controlled Ritalin Dispenser

Never have to get up to shut your kids up.
  (+4, -6)
(+4, -6)
  [vote for,

A tiny device that could inject Ritalin into the blood stream of a kid. It could either be implanted under the skin or worn on the outside. Once the remote control button is pressed...BZZZZ... a few CC's of Ritalin starts working it's way though the system of your hyper-active little brat....

Never have to leave your couch during "The Big Game" or during "Redneck Bob's Fish Like A Pro!"

warped1974, Sep 29 2000

BBC News Story http://news6.thdo.b...5F746000/746455.stm
[hippo, Sep 29 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

a little something from the BBC http://news.bbc.co....eatures/2309107.stm
there is an excellent scheme in London at present - all children, seven and under are given a piece of (free) fresh fruit every schoolday. [po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       I thought of this post tonight when I saw a 'lil cuss fling himself out of an elevator I was getting on at 6th floor. Though carpeted, wrong floor for him so I got to watch him whack the door with his teddybear to the 3rd floor where he flung himself out and yes wrong floor, carpeted though. Finally got him to lobby where he discovered the lobby floor is hard. "Ow" he said to his pregnant Mom. "Ritalin" I said as I made my exit.
thumbwax, Sep 30 2000

       If hamburgers are outlawed, only the Hamburgler will have hamburgers.
centauri, Oct 03 2000

       Make a Ritalin-impregnated floor, so that when kids throw themselves to the floor and thrash about they absorb Ritalin through their skin.
[Seriously though - see link - one in ten children between 6 and 14 in the US is on Ritalin. Unbelievable]
hippo, Oct 04 2000

       Or, what about Ritalin PEZ dispensers? Easy to pop them out, eat them like candy! And gumball machines with Ritalin in them. Considering so many kids here in the U.S. are taking the drug, it might be useful.
Lizzie9208, Nov 28 2000

       Why just Ritalin? Wy not Prozac or other drugs too. Kids aren't the only ones who throw temper tantrums and act like maniacs! I know there have been many times where I could have used a good remote dose of Valium or something!
Kate, Nov 28 2000

       a few days ago i went back to the old high school i went to a couple of yaers ago, you know just to see some old faces 'n' suff. and the freshmen there were just lke a bunch of little gerbils, hyper,bouncin' every where. You see i think it's the 11,12 13 year olds that should gets the zombie treatment instead of the little 5 and 6 year old kids who are just supposed to be hyper.
stoneman, Nov 28 2000

       It is sick how people would rather give their kids drugs to calm them down then to attempt to help them with a problem that they can't control!
DJB, Aug 24 2001

       No. "Remote-Controlled" and "Altering the Behavio(u)r of Human Beings" doesn't mix. You could just as well build a brain probe which zaps the little brats if they are doing something unpleasant. It's another step on the way to the "remote-controlled human", which I hope will never be achieved.
Saruman, Jul 19 2002

       Diabetics use infusion pumps which feed insulin into their systems to keep them alive. There are "slow release" drugs for all sorts of uses i.e. contraceptive implants. From an objective point of view how does that differ from dispensing a mood-altering drug like Ritalin, or indeed neuroleptics, if the patient consents ? Hyperactive children are often aware of their behaviour but unable to control it, and consent to take oral medication.
8th of 7, Jul 19 2002

       Hmmmmm... "Brain-probe" you say?   


       *does evil twiddly finger thing*
Crazy Bastard, Jul 21 2002

       "Don't be too proud of this technological terror you have created ..... it is nothing compared to the power of the Force..."
8th of 7, Jul 21 2002

       I'm working on a Home Automation projects with X10 gadgets, and an slinke IR controller. I use my 3com Audrey to interface to the controllers. I could even add a kewl annimated gif as the "dispense" icon. I like it, great idea. Look for the plugin on the Audrey Hacking sites soon! <EG>
ZacWolf, Oct 24 2002

       Why in the world would you want to give your kid Ritalin?! It makes them delusional. Sure it calms them down, but let them be kids, damn it! You only have so long of a time to be one. Then it's responsibility after responsibility, hours of work, and no time to be kids!! What about all this "just say no" stuff at school. Ritalin is a drug too! Then the schools, after teaching them to say no to drugs, turn around and GIVE them drugs. HYPOCRITES!
tustin, Sep 10 2003

       [tustin] , why so upset? Did your mom forget the Ritalin in your breakfast cereal?   

       The "just say no" only applies to cheap drugs that are sold without FDA approval. For example, you can get all the goodies hidden in Cannabis as a pill. It costs about 300 times as much as home grown, but the purchase of the pill supports at least half a dozen CEOs at pharmazeutical companies and many more FDA administrators.
kbecker, Sep 10 2003

       That doesn't matter, who it supports, because it’s wrong! I’ll boycott them! Wrong to give your kid drugs! LET THEM BE KIDS!!   

       And by-the-by, I am a mild mannered person who doesn't "need" any drug to mess up my mind, thank God. And I only get worked up over people who decide to mess kids up by not teaching them reading, giving them unneeded drugs, and/ or not let them be kids!
tustin, Sep 11 2003

       How about this: instead of feeding your child some "hyperactive counter-active so-called" drug, why not let them do some "hyperactive counter-active so-called" activity? Like for the example, soccer: I was refing a game today and saw some hyperactive kid on the sidelines doing some weird thing with his arm, spinning it around at 90 mph. now that's a healthy way to get rid of some energy.   

       The reason why schools are "prescribing" this horrid drug is because they're trying to abolish recess! Think about it, no time to release some energy, which in your youth you have a lot of. Think, people!!
tustin, Sep 13 2003

       Two bones for this one, if I could vote twice. One for the Ritalin, over-prescribed on behalf of parents who don't have the time and/or emotional tools for interacting with their children. One for the "remote" for parents too lazy to get off the couch to counsel/spank/banish the miscreant. No mistake about it, a quick whack on the ass ain't quick. Properly executed, it demands a few moments before to explain the misdeed and after to comfort.   

       That said, my dad used to use RC shock collars to train hunting dogs; now "radio fence" setups use the same things to keep the dogs in the yard & out of the flowerbed. Such could be modified to use on the kids without the hallucinogenic side-effects. Ideal for occasional instances where performance of the counsel-flog-comfort sequence may be inexpedient or inappropriate, like cinemas or funerals.
smallrocks, Sep 27 2003

       [smallrocks], why do you mention Ritalin in my idea as if you favor it, yet you give two bone to it here?
tustin, Oct 02 2003

       there is a school of thought that lays the blame for some of this behaviour as being down to dehydration. (I could look for a link) some of the children I work with would do well to have a bucket of cold water thrown over them.
po, Oct 02 2003


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