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Repressional

Saves a lot of trouble and embarrasment.
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It has come to light that many ministers of religion, usually but not invariably Catholics, have a penchant for paedophillia.

Clearly, this is a major problem for churches, who suffer serious adverse publicity, and have to pay large amounts of compensation to victims.

But a solution is available. Looking like a standard confessional, the Repressional is an effectively enclosed and soundproof booth in which priests can interfere with vulnerable little kids to their heart's content (and other bit s of their body too) without fear of observation.

The interior is decorated with vivid, terrifying and graphic images of Hell, and appropriate Biblical texts; the perpetrator ("he/she tempted me") can be left listening to an audio track which threatens them with eternal punishment if they tell anyone about what they imagine happened.

Comes complete with high-level cover up. Rosaries not included.

De Luxe version is surmounted by life-size animatronic effigies of Horatio Nelson and Vincent van Gogh. The heads are remotely controlled from Diocesan HQ, thus allowing the Bishop and his assistants to turn a blind eye and/or a deaf ear, as appropriate.

8th of 7, Aug 22 2012

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       Hmm systemic paedophillia booth, still deciding how I'll vote.
rcarty, Aug 22 2012
  

       Capable of thinking for yourself? The Jesuits must have missed you …
8th of 7, Aug 22 2012
  

       Lots of people around who can't think for themselves who don't know what a Jesuit is.   

       I'm not too concerned about criticism of social insitutions, no matter how byzantene partisan it gets. There's enough molestations and abuse in the typical family homestead to not have to worry about other places people send their childern.
rcarty, Aug 22 2012
  
      
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